How does Jesus decide whose team to play for? I also wonder what happens to his robe when he gets tackled in the football one? Does he flash the crowd? Is he wearing a cup and jockstrap? What size?
Also, I don’t think Jesus would be very good at football. He would probably wonder what they planned on doing with those goalposts after the game and get freaked out.
That kid has a lot of nerve, tackling Our Saviour 
The Jesus hockey statue is triggering a half-remembered hockey joke here…
:: pause ::
Arrgh! I can’t remember it!
Jesus is totally schooling the kids in the basketball and soccer statues. Also, I think Jesus would totally kick ass at hockey, because, I mean, would you have the balls to board check the Son of God? What if he dropped the gloves? Would you punch the Savior in the face (or anywhere else, for that matter)? I don’t know. He may not look like much, but you go ahead and see what happens when he calls the wrath of God upon you when you block his sweet one-timer.
Was it something like “Jesus saves! Gretzky gets the rebound, SCORES!”
Well, how the hell do you think they make red beer?
Tripler
It’s a Northern US thing. It ain’t all that bad, either.
Hey, if the Son of God cross-checks me into the boards, I reserve full rights to pull his tunic over his Holy head, and beat the living snot out of Him.
Tripler
And I’ll see to it that the zebras put him in the ‘Sin Bin’.
On the minus side, he seems to favor a dress over the regulation uniform. Which means he’s going to trip sooner or later.
Let he who is without sin cast others into the Sin Bin.
Neuticles They’re not just for dogs anymore.
I don’t get that at all! Maybe I should ask my cat if he felt humiliated after he was neutered.
I think he looks like he’s just teasing those kids by holding the basketball over their heads. Come on! They can’t reach it! Jesus is a jerk.
Wow, quoted three times in five posters; I think this thread has given me my most quotable post ever. See, Jesus does perform miracles!
Thank you, Jeebus!
Popular bumper sticker:
Only Jesus saves more than >insert goalie name<
Just posting to say that I had to order a Shit Bitch Bear. Thanks a lot, Eleusis! 
Flander actually drinks this too! Ewwww, is about all I can say. That’s some nasty stuff. Gotta brush before coming near me with Clamato breath.
…so you mean that $4k isn’t for a ring 
…J/K!!!
And yes, I proudly own a “Shit Bitch” bear now. 
He’s so cute!
Ahem.
It isn’t a Bloody Mary if you use Clamato, it’s called a Caesar. Properly made, it should be vodka and Clamato, with a dash of tabasco sauce and rimmed with celery salt. Garnish with celery stick, if really necessary…
My Dad has spent half his life investigating the proportions for the Perfect Caesar. 
You know, I was going to mention the Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but I actually find those even more tastless (and at least the BJBP has a function ).