Professional Party Schools

The other day, an acquaintance of mine mentioned a story I hadn’t heard in a long time. I have suspected the story as UL for some time (even before I knew what a UL was) but I could never prove it. Even with the searching capabilities of the internet, I still have not found my answer.

Anyway, the story always goes something like, “In Playboy magazine, when they listed the top party schools in the U.S., there was a footnote: ‘Sorry <insert name of university here>, but only amateur party schools are listed. We don’t rank professionals.’”

I have heard it with at least three different schools listed.

Any truth in that?
I was always curious why no one carried the article around with them. I certainly would if it were my alma mater.

Sigh. Please forgive this newbie (me). There was supposed to be the phrase, “insert name of university here” at an appropriate place in the middle of my quote, but I see that the “less-than/greater-than” symbols are strictly interpreted as tags.

Sorry “insert name of university here” but only amteurs…

You probably had the idea…

If it is a UL (and I’m thinking it is) it was probably inspired by a sketch on Saterday Night Live, several years ago. In the sketch, a high school teacher introduces a class to a college recruiter played by Billy Crystal. Crystal gets the teacher to leave the room on some pretext and then lets the kids in on the “real deal”: The tuition paid by their parents will be split between the school and the kid. There are no teachers or classes or dorms. The school itself is just some plywood cutouts that are erected for parent day. After four years you get a diploma. If you blab, “We will have you killed!”

never heard the story before myself, though i’ve been to chico state, which could certainly qualify. i wonder what kind of classes you’d find. “keg-stands 101” “remedial shot-gunning” “english 112 - the basic pickup line”


I can at least verify that the story’s been around since 1982, when we told it about the University of Georgia.
– Greg, Atlanta

Mid '70s, University of Missouri. I expect it goes back at least as far as Playboy’s ratings.

Well, now I’m probably going to have to explain to my network admin why I visited “”.

It turns out they have a FAQ which addresses this… sort of. I found it by doing an Alta Vista search for +playboy +“party school” +professional.

They say: “The only time Playboy has ever ranked the best party schools was in our January 1987 issue.” They then explain “if your school isn’t listed, it’s probably because we didn’t include professionals” before giving their top 40 list.

However, 1987 was well after I’d heard the story, and the Playboy site says THEY’VE been hearing it since 1955… so I suspect that disclaimer was more of a sly wink at the UL than the source of it.

Of the schools listed above: Cal State Chico was #1, the University of Georgia was #36, and the University of Missouri/Rolla was #38 (UMC, which is what most people mean when they say “University of Missouri” without a city name, didn’t make the list).

Don’t know about the story…but I’ll agree with ellis. After living and going to school in Chico, Ca. My son transferred to Sacramento State so that he could “complete a thought without taking party breaks.”

“Man, the 60’s must have been real good for you!”
George Carlin…“Outrageous Fortune”

“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore”
Dorothy…“The Wizard of Oz”