Proof that God is a man

He loves you unconditionaly at first. Then he notices certain flaws…hairy legs, eating a certain fruit,whathaveyou. And just stops talking to you.

Do I currently have a bad relationship with SO and God? Why do you ask?

Stops talking, hell, he kills your first born, burns your house down, and turns your wife into a pillar of salt.

But feel free to focus on your relationship with your SO. Is there something we can help you with or you want to get off your chest? I really do care.

SSG Schwartz

Hairy legs I don’t mind. But I really, really, really hate it when my girlfriends eat fruit.

crosses Colibri off her list

Nope, God is a woman. Sure, she loves you, but she isn’t ‘in love’ with you.

Well, of course she isn’t, if you give her grief for eating fruit.

Ever hear of a ‘deadbeat mom’?

God’s a man.

“You should know, if you have to ask, just forget it.”
God’s a woman.