Well, firstly I’ve seen people up here get very angry when a member posts something in the wrong section. So, if this post is misplaced, excuse me. Anyway, I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and she had said that 21 was the perfect age for a woman to marry. However, some people think when a girl reaches puberty, which can be 8, 9, 12, or 15 is okay for marriage. What age do you think is the proper age for a woman to get married?
In my opinion, I’d say 21 also.
I am surprised that Dr. Laura said 21 was the “perfect” age. It’s been ages since I listened to her show (I used to have a job where we listened to talk radio all day) and she usually advocated waiting until mid-20s or even older. Well, she’s apparently changed her stance on more than a few things since I listened; she used to be pretty gay-friendly way back when as well.
As for my opinion on the matter, I think it depends. But very often, older (as in mid-20s) is not a bad idea. College is out of the way (a lot of the time) and there is a certain amount of maturity there. Not a bad thing, IMO.
Dunno, but any women who are worried that they’re rapidly in danger of passing their “cut off” point with no marital prospects in site are encouraged to e-mail me, and I’ll see what I can do to correct that problem.
<insert obligatory paragraph about how the right age is when a woman meets the right person and wants to marry them>
Ideally, I’d like to get married in my mid twenties. 21 for me will be next year, and most likely I’ll be doing Honours at Uni so that means no full time job. I’d like to be more settled financially and emotionally before I take the plunge.
I married first at age 30. I had had time to support myself and travel. That gave me confidence that I don’t think I would have had otherwise.
Ummm, how about when she’s ready ?
Are you serious ? Do you honestly think that there is a certain age where women are magically ‘marriage-ready’ ?
Each woman is an individual, so there is no ‘proper age’ for marriage, only a good time for the individual.
When they approach 35, “as soon as possible, like tomorrow oh god i’ll die barren and alone” is the ‘perfect age’. Suckers.
For me, probably never.
Once again, Dr. Laura’s pronouncements have no bearing on anything resembling real life.
How can there be a proper age to marry for women without there being a corresponding age for men? I mean, if women magically become ready for marriage upon turning 21, then it must happen for men at some point…
Right?
(Or is my fundamental lack of knowledge about men the reason I am, in Dr. Laura’s eyes, a spinster?)
21? That’s just … bizarre. Plenty of twenty-one-year-olds have never lived on their own, and I think it’s a terrible idea to go straight from a college dorm to marriage.
I’d say that the right age for marriage for anyone, male or female, is:
– After they’ve got a handle on the basics of adult life: budgeting, cooking, filing tax returns, car care
– After they’ve been through at least one ugly breakup and found that it didn’t kill them
– After they’ve been single for at least a year and found it didn’t kill them
– After they’ve had some short-term fun with someone (or several someones) who was not a potential marriage partner
– After they’ve lived or traveled alone at least once
– After they’ve taken time to do all the things they want to do and can’t easily do with a partner, like taking a job in a new city on impulse, or packing it in and going on a three-month road trip
Sheesh, I hadn’t done any of these things at 21, except being single for at least a year. And I’ll be 27 in a couple of months and have done most of them, and I still don’t feel ready to get married.
Boy Fretful Poppentine, you’d hate my wife and I.
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Well, my wife knew how to cook before we got married, and while I’m no world class chef, I can fix a few dishes too. As for budgeting, well, we did flounder a bit at first, but we learned. Tax filings? My father in law does that for us. Car Care? We manage, but neither of us knew very much about cars before we got married (heck, we didn’t even own a car for a few years.
**
Well, we’re happily married for almost 12 years so far. Neither of us have ever been in a breakup (we were both the first SO of the other). I only dated one other girl (and that was only for two weeks!). Should we have broken up with each other just to meet this requirement?
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Well, we’ve both been single since we were born. 
But I assume you mean living on our own. Sorry, no again for both of us.
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Sorry, again, no go with us.
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Neither or us had ever lived away from our parents or traveled anywhere before we were married.
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Once I met my wife, there was nothing I wanted to do other than marry her. Anything else I might have wanted to do (travel, for example), I would have only wanted to do with her.
We got married at 21 & 19; and we’re quite happy, thank you.
Zev Steinhardt
I don’t think there’s a magical age for when every woman becomes ready to marry. Some couples marry young and it works beautifully for them. However, I tend to agree with Fretful Porpentine. It does men and women a world of good to live on their own for a couple of years before marrying. Living away from my family gave me a sense of self-reliance and confidence that I wouldn’t have gained otherwise. I think that ultimately makes one a better partner.
21? I wasn’t anywhere NEAR ready at 21. She’s an idiot.
I would have been getting married at 27 if he hadn’t broken it off.
Age isn’t a valid indicator, to my mind. Experience and independence are more important. Once you know you can live on your own, make your own decisions, and function as an adult, you’re ready to become part of a couple. By that I mean that once you know you can get along yourself, you’re probably not approaching marriage with the desperation of “I need someone!!” And if being part of a couple doesn’t work, you know that you can make it alone, so you don’t cling to a bad situation out of fear of the unknown.
Does that make sense? I know what I mean - I don’t know if I expressed it clearly.
I’m 21 and I think I’m just old enough to know that I’m not quite ready.
And “not quite” means “nowhere near” in the sentence above.
I think those ages can be appropriate depending on the culture. Hunter-gatherers can marry at 12 without ill effects because that is what their culture and entire childhood education is geared toward. My great-grandmother married at 15. That was reasonable considering the time and the place. She was ready, happy, and psychologically healthy.
In the West today, our culture is different, people grow up emotionally at different rates, and young people have more options and want to explore them. Thus, adolescent marriage should not be encouraged. But people are unique, and there is not ever going to be a one-age-fits-all.
I was thirty. That was perfect for me. Nineteen was perfect for Mrs. Steinhardt. It’s all relative.
Nah, why would I hate your wife and you? There are exceptions to every rule. I stand by my statement that most people, most of the time, are better off if they have some time on their own first.
Between 25 and 30, for both men and women. That’s late enough so they’ve had time to finish college and either live on their own or get pretty far along in grad school. It’s soon enough so that they haven’t gotten set in their ways. It also seems advisable for women to get married before 30, so that she will have time alone with her husband before having babies (if they chose to have babies), because children can really strain a relationship.
I’m getting married this August, and I’m 26, which seems just right. My fiance is only 24, so he’s a little young, but we’ll wait 5-8 years to have kids, and it should all turn out great 
::tears:: ::hugs Zev and wife:: That’s the sweetest post I’ve ever read–it truly gives me hope, as I, too, want my first SO to be my husband. You’ve inspired me, and I thank you.
I would say around 24-25. That gives the woman 4 years to get an education, and a year or two to mess around and see what she wants in a man.