I saw a kid stand up and puke all over the floor of the train the other day. Fortunately, no one got splashed and he just walked off at the next stop.
But I wonder, what’s the proper course of action if someone gnarfs up on you while you’re in public? Violence? Threats of civil suits and drycleaning bills? Ask them to buy you a new shirt to wear home? Say, “are you OK” and leave it at that?
I’d probably end up puking right back on them (heck, I couldn’t have handled seeing the kid puke, much less being puked on).
But beyond that, I have no idea.
In the utter surprise of the situation it’s almost impossible to know what you’d do, but the proper thing to do IMO is express concern for the puker. I know how impossible it is to control the time or place that a puke occurs.
I’ve puked outside someone’s house after running out from inside. The person cleaned it up for me, not making much effort to hide his distain.
It’s happened to me only once, at a dinner function, and the “offender” was a work colleague. I realised at once that her distress and embarrassment far outweighed my discomfort. I just told her not to worry (since she obviously hadn’t done it on purpose). She got a taxi home. I went to the toilets, cleaned myself up as best I could, took off my trousers, changed into a pair of shorts that the restaurant staff gave to me, and just went back into the dinner. I looked pretty silly but given the circumstances nobody batted an eyelid. My colleague offered to pay for the drycleaning of my suit, but I told her not to bother. Instead, she presented me with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates a few days later at work. By that stage of course we were all able to have a good laugh over the whole thing.
This happened to me once as well. I was at a Goth club with lots of artificial fog and flashing lights. My girlfriend threw up a massive pile of spaghetti on me and the floor. I took her to the bathroom, cleaned her up, and we went back to her apartment. I put her in bed and spent the night. It was kind of gross, but no use making the person feel worse by making a big deal about it.
And that’s what happens when you use your pre-club time to play Quarters with Kentucky Gentleman bourbon.
Proper etiquette is to ask the person “Feel better now?”
Me, too. I have a terribly weak stomach when it comes to other people puking. My first reaction is to puke as well. And then to hope someone comes to save both of us.
Ew. I did something similar when I was six: I was on a bus, standing in the aisle next to the seat my mother was sitting on, and I threw up on the floor and on my mum’s lap. :smack: Poor Mum! She just leapt up, took me by the hand and we got off at the next stop, found a department store Ladies and she cleaned us up. We then went home. I think I ruined the silk dress she was wearing, unfortunately. I think Mum was embarrassed, even though the other passengers just looked at her pityingly, I think because I was just a little kid. I wasn’t embarrassed, though, being six. 
If I threw up on someone now I’d be mortified and offer to pay for dry-cleaning costs, but as a teenager and adult I’ve always managed to hold it until I can run into the nearest bathroom.
I have never vomited on anybody, but I once did something worse.
I was at the opera. The clamp on my ileosomy bag broke, and the bag spilled about a pint of liquefied feces all over the place. Some of it splattered all over the peau de soie shoes of an elderly lady who was standing near me.
I offered to pay for the shoes, which were almost certainly ruined. The little old lady, bless her blue-haired head, was very sweet, and not only refused to accept any payment, but offered to accompany me to the lady’s room to fix myself up.
Auugh. You’d think that after more than thirty years living with one, I’d have learned to spell ‘ileostomy.’
Please forgive the typo.
Wow, did this thread dredge up a long buried memory. The elementary school bus sputtered and stopped one very cold morning on the big hill we climbed to school. One fellow was rather high strung and started talking about how the wind was going to blow the bus off the snowy road, over the side of the hill and we’d all be killed. We tried to ignore him, but the lad worked himself into a frenzy and blew breakfast all over his seatmate. His seatmate returned the gesture. :eek: and :eek: The rest of us crowded into the rear of the bus. :barfy smiley:
Since I have actually puked on someone if someone puked on me I would not be mad or anything because it’s not like they wanted to.
I would just feel bad for that person and I’d be a little grossed out but I would wash up and move on. 
I think the answer depends on why they’re puking.
I’m all for compassion and concern if they ate a bad tamale, have a stomach flu, don’t travel well, etc.
On the other hand, if they’re yakking on me because they’ve been drinking too much, I have no problem with doing everything that contemptuous looks and bad language makes possible to make them feel appropriately chastised. None at all.
If my clothes are soaked with half a gallon of bile and (eewww) Jagermeister, the schmuck who thought they could hold it down is f-ing well going to pay to have them cleaned.
People who are heaving through no great fault of their own? I’ll hold their hair and help them clean up, of course.
When I met my (to be) husand there was no dating involved. He and I were both staying in a youth hostel in Greece. Friday and Saturday nights mostly, but also every other night of the week, we spent getting pissed…Hey this was in the 80’s I had just-turned-19!
The third time I met him, some aussie girl had drank far too much. My soon-to-be was holding back her hair as she puked. “How kind” I thought.
The next night I bought him his first drink.
See puking can be a good thing.
My room-mate puked on the bus, all over the back of our neighbour and good friend, and in the hair of several other people. They had to just stand there for the next minute until the bus reached a place where it could stop. She didn’t offer an apology, in fact, I believe her words were thus;
“I would give you an apology but you kept me up on Thursday night.”
Yes, because keeping someone “up”* until 10pm is so much worse then puking all over them.
*she’s up that time anyway.
I glare haughtily at them through my lorgnette and say, “well, really!”
You could always ask Bush 41 (bottom half of page).
If it is someone puking near me, I point and laugh ala Nelson Muntz.
If it is someone puking on me, I generally scrape as much off myself as possible and deposit it in that person’s pocket or purse.