I’m thinking something that looks less like a muffin and more like a cake. As in, you eat it by the slice.
I’m thinking a $16 muffin is a regular muffin served by a beautiful woman in very scanty clothing, but that’s just me. 
Here’s how you get a $16 DOJ muffin:
-by muffins from Dunkin Donuts ($2.49 each)
-add graft ($13.51)
REsult: hotel makes big profit, owners “donate” to Democratic Party
Everybody is happy!
$2 worth of muffin mix, with $14 of Sacagawea coins baked in the center.
A sixteen dollar muffin shall have the following properties:
- it is chocolate chip
- it is glazed with vanilla icing
- it is a big as my head
I’d tell you that I was describing a giant version of a muffin sold at Shaws, but less than 5% of dopers have probably ever been to one, so…you’ll have to take my word on them being yummy even at fist size.
I might pay even more than $16 for that sort of muffin. 
New Hampshire’s my home state, and so I’m quite familiar with Shaw’s. I have to disagree, though, regarding the alleged yumminess of their muffins.
A Sara Lee muffin with $13.50 kickback (plus $2/muffin processing fee).
Muffin better than a $16 muffin for $12.
A center of gouda, fresh herbs and shaved ham with ltitle asparagus spears sticking out in a crown formation.
Well, actually they charged me $18, but it was worth every penny!
I’m thinking something along the lines of a Maine lobster roll. A little dill mayonnaise, lots of big chunks of claw meat, and just enough corn muffin batter to hold it together. Might be tasty, and with a cold beverage might be lunch.
Changing my vote to this.
Regular muffin. Make the muffin cup paper out of a ten dollar bill and a five dollar bill.
You could also just make a regular muffin and pay the staff a living wage…