Psycho Neighbors & Acquaintances, Part IIV

[tatertot]

I’ve got this neighbor, Lisa who has a daughter my son’s age (4), so I see her a lot on the playground. Not by choice, mind you, because the woman is a complete nutjob.

The other day all of us mommy types are sitting out there, shooting the breeze, like always. I made a joke to one of my friends (who is married to a redhead, like me) that next time out we ought to find ourselves brunette men. Lisa asks why, and I say (since both of us have dark brown hair) because then maybe we’ll have kids with brown hair, I’ve always wanted a brown-haired daughter, like me.

Backtrack time, me & Lisa are both half-Asian and have dark hair & eyes. My son has blue/green eyes and dishwater blonde hair, Lisa’s daughter has dark eyes & hair.

So Lisa says, take this one, I didn’t want her anyway. Okay, I think, maybe she’s joking. But no! She goes on to tell me that she wanted a white baby, a boy, and this time (she’s preggers) she is going to have a blonde/blue eyed boy, like Nicholas (my son). Her kid is sitting right next to her, hearing all of this!

A little later, I mention that I’m glad that my son seems to be developing better social skills because he’s got “computer engineer” written all over him. (lame joke, I know) Lisa says, this one - pointing at her daughter - is going to be a serial killer. Again, the child is there, hearing everything. I tell her, oh no, you don’t mean that, she’s a little angel and Lisa says “angel of death.” WTF!!! Her daughter is a sweet little thing, I can’t even imagine why she’d say that.

Of course, this is the woman who bragged about slapping her kid in the face for calling her stupid…

So, go ahead, share your stories of the whackos who haunt your life.

[jjjfishe]

i have a story… Tuesday I got a call at work. (a restaurant) This guy began talking really really fast about me babysitting. He said that a friend of his told him that I babysat occassionally. (I haven’t babysat in years…but I guess it’s possible that I may have told some people at work that I would watch their kids.) So he goes on to say… “What time do you get off work” I tell him 2:00 and he says well…what is your phone number (I AM SOOOO STUPID I KNOW… BUT I TOLD HIM) He sounded really convincing and he’d caught me off guard. I asked him who gave him my name and he said, Donna… and he kept talking and talking about the stupidest stuff (that he had a 12 year old that needed a babysitter…but she cursed sometimes… He asked me if that was alright?) I cut him off and said, what was Donna’s last name… he said Stephens… ( Surprisingly I don’t know anyone with that name.) So he keeps talking and talking really fast and starts getting personal…asking if i had a boyfriend and how old was the oldest guy I’ve dated… Finally I catch on and say… “I gotta go” He hangs up. Yeah… you guessed it he Block calls around 2:30 (my home) and i have my mom answer (he hangs up) Yesterday (wednesday) he block calls again and I answer. He says “what are you doing?” I say “who is this” and he says… “you know” and then I hang up… YIKES!!! I AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT BY THIS…

and to top it all off on tuesday (after I got this call a 16 year old on a motorcycle gets hit by a car right in front of our restaurant.) I ran out to see if he needed cpr… but he had a pulse and was gasping for air. He was wearing a helmet but unfortunately that wasn’t enough… he passed away later that day. ::sniff, sniff::

This has definately been the WORST week.

[Milossarian]

It was five years ago. Mrs. Milo and I had just gotten hitched, and we were moving into our new home.

My mom came over to help us move some stuff. Because our two vehicles had the driveway taken up, she pulled into our adjacent neighbor’s section of driveway (there is no real delineation between the two) – just long enough to give me a hand moving a couch in through the door, the two gals on one side, me on the other.

We’re halfway through the door. I’m inside; they’re still outside, with the couch in-between us. The neighbor guy comes up the driveway and asks us to move the car. My wife says something to the effect of, “OK, just one second.” (I mean, we were probably like 10 seconds from having the couch inside the door.)

He starts shreiking like a madman: “MOVE THE F**KING CAR OR I’LL TAKE A BOMB AND BLOW IT UP! I’LL BLOW YOU ALL UP!”

So we, uh, moved the car.

The guy was a former member of the Coast Guard, discharged on some disability (which, I learned later, was probably mental). Lived with his wife and two young kids.

Well, we obviously didn’t have much to say to our neighbors after that.

One night about a year later, we see a police car in the neighbor’s driveway - no lights on or anything. Didn’t know what it was about, so we just went to bed. Our in-laws came to drop a car off to us a little later that evening and they said the next day they saw police with their guns drawn. (Keep in mind, I live in a little town with a population of about 3,000 – no big crime stuff).

Come to find out, Psycho Man got drunk, passed out, woke back up, came out into the living room and his wife was there along with a guy friend of both of their’s named Rocky. They weren’t doing anything, I guess, just sitting there talking, but PsychoMan freaks out and accuses her of cheating, etc.

He takes a knife and holds it to her throat - in front of their little kids. All this time he’s saying weird shit like “I’m the Man from Hell,” and telling his little boy (like 7) “This is real life.”

Somehow this lady or this Rocky guy was able to call the police, and they’d arrived just as he was heading out the door with a rifle to, as he told his wife, “go kill 100 people.”

Guess who Numbers 1 and 2 probably would have been? Me and the Missus!

He’s in prison now. Last I knew, the wife and kids had moved to a nearby town with her new boyfriend - Rocky. (The psycho S.O.B. was probably right about the two of them.)

That house sat vacant for a long time. I guess it’s pretty crappy on the inside, so nobody wanted to buy it. Finally, someone did and turned it into a rental. So within the past few months, we’ve had neighbors there again. The guy never seems to work, and just the other day, they had some long, all-day, screaming, inside-and-outside-of-the-house domestic dispute.

Oh God, here we go again!