I read this one today:
Time to shave my face
Cut my hair
And move to another town
In days of old,
When knights were bold
And rubbers weren’t invented,
He placed a sock
Upon his cock,
And babies were prevented!
–from a campground restroom somewhere in Alberta, c. 1985
I am of the opinion that women’s restrooms often have more “intelligent” graffiti than men’s restrooms do. In the university library where I used to work, my favorite stall had a running commentary on illegal immigration, believe it or not.
I see hardly any graffiti nowadays in “the real world.” Darn suburbia!
Or, alternately:
In days of old,
When knights were bold,
And toilets weren’t invented
They’d leave their load
Beside the road,
And ride away contented
I like:
Here I sit,
Buns a flexin’
Just gave birth
To another Texan
At my University library female loo, in big bold marker and in all the cubicles:
Bloody hell!
Tampax woman strikes again.
Someone scrawled a Shakespeare quote about treachery in a stall at the local bar (I guess the toilet moved on him or something), so underneath I scrawled:
We are what we always were in Salem, but now the crazy little children are jangling the keys to the kingdom and common vengeance writes the law!
I felt very pleased at sharing great literature with people who were drinking away their children’s lunch money.
At a camp that I went to when I was younger there was a beautiful rendition of ronald regan for some reason, very nicely drawn with detail and shading, correct proportions and everything, maybe 2 feet tall, just the upper torso.
Heres a favorite:
This here thone is all my own,
I try to keep it neat,
So please be kind,
With your behind,
And dont shit on the seat.
Q: for the ladies, is there an enormous ammount of boogers on the walls in your bathrooms? or is this a guy thing?
At my old boarding school there was a lot of weak grafitti, some prison-style portraits of the female form, and this little gem:
“Flush twice, it’s a long way to the dining hall”
Lucky Charms
This one from Beavis and Butthead:
*Here I sit, same as ever
Took a dump, pulled the lever
the toilet clogged, the water flowed
look out world-it’s a mother lode!
*
And this one, under those annoying, I Love Jason, or TK + JR =TLA, :
Give your guy a little class-don’t write his name where you wipe your ass
“Pull to eject”
The next time
I’ll take a chance,
and save the dime
but shit my pants.
{On the stall wall beside the atrium/theatre of the left wing Innis College cinema dept.}
The new cinematic emporium
is not just a super sensoriun,
but a highly effectual
heterosexual
mutual
masterbatorium
In a men’s room at the university of Seville ca. 1982:
Me cago en Rusia (I shit on Russia).
The grafitti in Spain at the time tended to be political. There were numerous responses, but this is the part I remember.
capitian’s log stardate 4545.3 - spock and i beamed down to take a leak
saw that about 20 years ago and i still laugh at it.
we used to have a sign at work “players with short bats, please stand close to plate” i don’t think it counts as graffitti, though.
When I was at LSU, I found myself needing a bathroom when all that was handy was the faculty bathroom for the English department. I went in it, wondering if there’d be racy literature graffiti on the stall. There wasn’t, but someone had written, “Sorry, professors, I’m just a freshman who had to take a piss.”
I was solemnly informed by a bathroom wall: “Hey you, sitting there, don’t worry Jesus does and always will love you.” Did I miss the Sermon on the Pot or what?
At my high school, where there was a lot of tension between Latinos and Armenians, I was amused to note a running racial argument that took up most of a stall door and culminated in the brilliant statement “All Armenians are racist!” :rolleyes:
For my part, I have the occasional habit of pencilling Shelley’s “Ozymandias” on bathroom walls, but then again I also type it on every typewriter and word processor on display at Office Depot.
oh god, about women’s bathrooms.
especially university bathrooms.
in my university arts building, some english student had corrected ALL the grammar in the graffitti… and the posters, adn the flyers… jeezy creezy.
and in the medical department above the “PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS” sign, some smart-ass med student ( or water sports fanatic)has written
“actually, urine is a sterile liquid and only picks up contaminants after urination.”
which is nice to know!
we also have a running
WHO HAS SLEPT WITH XXXX list, for the biggest player on campus, in the toilets at the bar.
i’m sure that that guy must be very proud.
My personal favourite, over a Urinal:
Don’t look up, you’ll miss.
Don’t look down, you’ll cry.
Allow me to applaud you
applause
Thank you.
The Master speaks on this subject.
My two favorites from the Rathskeller at the Univeristy of Florida were:
Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse
and
*Don’t drop acid… take it pass/fail *
Sadly the Rathskeller burned down some years later, I don’t know if it was ever rebuilt.
At a local tavern
"Amanda Rawls!
I Love You more than life itself!
I will Always Love You!
Please call Me Tommorow(sic)**
Always Richard"**
What disturbed me was that this plantive plea was found written just above the urinal in the Men’s room of this particular establishment.
I have concluded that either Amanda has an alternative sexual assignment, or Always Richard is one, poor, sad bastard.