Why do Vulcans have pointed ears?
So they can count to twelve.
The river of time has universal egress.
[musical sting]
Thank you, thank you, I’m here all season. Be sure to check out our lunch buffet.
“I’ll bet subcommander T’Pol was surprised.”
“Not as surprised as the Romulan with a portable compact cloaking device.” (Arched eyebrow.)
A human comes to a Vulcan and tries to tell him a ‘knock, knock’ joke, and this occurs:
Knock, knock!
Enter.
No, you’re supposed to say “Who’s there?”
Why? I admit all visitors, unless I am otherwise occupied. Hospitality is an ancient and honored Vulcan custom.
It’s a joke! Try again, and say “Who’s there?”
Very well. Proceed.
Knock, knock!
Who is there?
Banana.
You may enter, Banana.
NO! You say “Banana who?”
Why? I know no one named ‘Banana’. To continue interrogating my visitor without meeting him would be both pointless and impolite.
Just… do… it. Knock, knock!
Who is there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Enter.
Why did you do THAT?
You implied that a different visitor had arrived. Why would Banana have knocked again, once I responded?
It’s a JOKE! Just try again… knock, knock!
Who is there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock!
Who is there this time?
Banana.
I repeat, Banana who?
Knock, knock?
I begin to question the wisdom of becoming involved in this exercise, but… who is there?
Orange.
Enter.
I thought I told you not to say “Enter”!
You clearly identified yourself as a different visitor. Am I to perform the same peculiar ritual with all visitors?
Look, let’s just finish it. You say “Orange who?” and I say “Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘Banana’?”
I will say that I am, if this performance will then cease.
“Do Vulcans ever have fun?”
“At regular intervals.”
– from Spock vs Q.
And 75 IQ points…
No doubt, the dual meaning of “bill” is meant to be the source of the humor in your story. But I find a host of inaccuracies, not the least of which is that ducks do not talk. And they have no source of income, so what sensible shopkeeper would extend a line of credit? Finally, ducks have no reason to acquire lip balm – they do not, as you say, “chap.”
Hey, Spock! Why did the fireman wear red suspenders?
I am not certain of the answer. If you prefer, I can research it in the computer’s databanks and prepare a comprehensive report for tomorrow’s 08:00 briefing.
Vlad Dracul: LOL!
I have started the inquiry to determine who procured my nocturnal garments, altered their composition enough to allow them to be worn by a pachyderm, and clothed the aforementioned elephant in said garments. However, the probablity of my obtaining the necessary knowledge required to determine the circumstances surrounding this particular incident appears to be remote, at best.
Pardon me, but others on the scene have reported that the small domestic feline, not the pachyderm, was clothed in your nocturnal garments, and furthermore they report that you were in pursuit of the feline while waving a manual sweeping device. The question as to how the feline became enclothed in your nocturnal garments dictates an answer that, I fear, will never be understood.
… sorry to bump, just had to add my favourite…
If Mr Spock has pointed ears, what does Scotty have?
ENGINEARS!!!
And because his translator device isn’t working, instead of “I come in peace” he says “First person singular colloquial orgasm in Caledonian sandwich”.
(With apologies to Iain M Banks)
“Then the bartender replies, ‘Not if you utilize the rules of three-valued logic.’”
And the Vulcan stayed up with the farmer’s daughter all night helping her learn to control her emotions.
And that’s why Klingon’s now have ridges in their heads.
Heh heh heh.