Just a note; I don’t think you’re an asshole, but you might have been an asshole while you were doing that stuff. But that doesn’t mean you are one in general, and I don’t think that of you.
One thing people in recovery have to watch out for is men who figure out it’s a good place to find vulnerable women. They come around every so often, lying and using women, destroying the women’s attempts to get sober. It’s a truly evil form of predation, and I wish we had better laws to put them away.
Yes, technically it is rape by fraud or some other concoction (depending upon the jurisdiction) but cops and prosecutors just don’t want to be bothered with trying to prove the technicalities.
Another example: my nephews sang in a concert yesterday. I promised to go before I found out it was a Republican Memorial Day service in a city hall. I was clapping only for my nephews’ choir. The preceding speeches were like watching people masticate derrière with a whole jar of petroleum jelly.
What kind of choir was it? Community, church, school, etc.? Hope admission was free.