Just a note; I don’t think you’re an asshole, but you might have been an asshole while you were doing that stuff. But that doesn’t mean you are one in general, and I don’t think that of you.
One thing people in recovery have to watch out for is men who figure out it’s a good place to find vulnerable women. They come around every so often, lying and using women, destroying the women’s attempts to get sober. It’s a truly evil form of predation, and I wish we had better laws to put them away.
Yes, technically it is rape by fraud or some other concoction (depending upon the jurisdiction) but cops and prosecutors just don’t want to be bothered with trying to prove the technicalities.