It’s so sad when people who think they’re “a real card” try to do the job of professionals.
The head of our magazine is retiring (actually getting her ass kicked out, because she’s over 70—nice, huh?). She’s having a big party at the Four Seasons, and the editors here made up a gag magazine cover, with her photo on it and “funny” cover lines.
Okay, I know I am never going to have any creative or editorial input at this magazine; I’ve long ago resigned myself to that. But you think they would ask the woman who wrote a humor column for eight years, and who is the biggest wise-ass in the office, to help with the “funny” gag cover? Oy. This cover is so painfully not funny . . . Good thing the woman who’s retiring is also entirely humor-free; she’ll never notice the difference.
These people are OBVIOUSLY incapable of seeing the talent sitting under their noses…you made me spout cherry pepsi clear accross the room last week. But, at least when the dreck comes out, it will be legible dreck.
Eve, don’t worry. I went to a retirement party where the guest of honor’s closest buddies put together a magazine cover that not only wasn’t funny, but was so loaded with inside jokes only about 3 people in the room even understood what they were trying to joke about.
I’d suggest proposing a toast which successfully lampoons the occasion, appropriately lambasts the honoree and takes a subtle but clear backhanded swipe at those who would deny your wit.
When you look at the jokes, just keep saying, “I don’t get it. I don’t get it. I don’t get it. Can someone explain the joke to me?” That’ll have 'em sweating. Although, it’s a blessing in disguise It would be a real drag to waste your best material on someone who’s humor impaired.
Of course, you could always do up a funny phony subscription card insert to go along with this unfunny phony cover magazine and use them as coasters for the drinks that evening.
I saw some film people put together a short film tribute for a retiring movie studio bigwig…it was so horrible, a few people almost got fired from the department that put it together and I know some promotions were cancelled after their “talent” was exposed for the fraud it was.
Maybe you should just thank your lucky stars you are NOT a part of this impending train wreck of a “gag”.
By the way, I used to subscribe to Legible Dreck and still have that free tote bodybag that came with the subscription.
Hate to hijack, but that’s the exact job I’m hoping for when I get out of college. How would I go about getting into that sort of thing (or even writing columns) with a creative writing major? I need something to keep me afloat while I try to knock out a best-selling novel.
Be glad they didn’t ask you. It’s a blessing in disguise, really.
I know this because everytime I have been approached to do a ‘fun’ job like this, some how, some way, the ‘fun’ job always turns out to be the biggest pain in the ass, ever.
I was only following orders! Besides, I didn’t know the whole thing. All they gave me to work with was, “has no nose. How…” What the heck does that mean? I swear I don’t know anything about Jokes of Mass Destruction. I’m clean as a hound’s tooth. Gimme a break!