Put your modesty away, and share

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Stoid. Is 23 very young???

AuraSeer by “on command” I meant to imply as soon or as late as I want to. So Pshaw yourself! :wink: As for the multiple male orgasms, I’ve read about it, but I’m more of a giver. Maybe I’ll get bored with a girl one day and undertake the project.

About all the academic stuff. I was hoping for less concrete and legitimate stuff. But, hey I’m no thread Nazi. I know most everyone here is quite intelligent and has no doubt had their share of academic success. Group Hug But, to keep with the program I got a 33 on my ACT hungover with no prep work.

I can instinctively grill the ideal steak to the perfect doneness, everytime. :smiley:

22

I can bench press 130#

I can run a mile in 10 minutes

I can make you cry with a story

I can cry over a story you tell me

I can’t sing worth a damn and do it anyway

I got over horrible relationships and lived to love again

I got a 31 out of 36 on my ACT

I can make a candle that looks exactly like a banana split sundae and smells like it too

I can make a stained glass window that looks just like you

I can calm an animal with my voice and touch

I can make a man see God with my bare hands

I can talk to anyone, anywhere about anything

I can fart and not be embarrassed

I can compose a limerick just for you

I can grow a rose that will stun you with it’s beauty

I can fix almost anything from crummy drywall to a leaky roof

I can hot wire a car

I can see beauty in every human I see

I can feel pain in other people’s hearts

I can show you in a photograph what I can’t say in words

I can accept you for what you are but expect you to do the same

I can love so deeply that I feel almost disconnected from myself but

I can hate so deeply that I frighten myself

I can cook a meal that will nourish you and titillate your senses

I can reach things on the top shelf without a step ladder

I can hold you when you cry

I can read and understand anything

I can do many things that others can’t and they can do many things that I can’t and that’s what makes me glad to be here on Earth.

The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.

23

You forgot:

I can make a spirited thread sappy and girly.
Just kidding!!! I promise :slight_smile:

24

Oh, Omni after that outpour of my soul you would dare to slam… I LOVE it!

You can slam where I cannot. See? Everyone can do something that I have too much taste to do! He he he, slammed you back! You think I’ll get away with it???

25

Geez, you guys have intimidated me. :(!

Well,lessee…
Animals like me
I’m the most organized and efficient person I know and can do the work of two people
I can change my oil, my spark plugs, and the various filters and wires on my car
I know how to add a/c coolant to my car
I’m an excellent speedy painter (of walls and house stuff)
I can embroider and quilt
I’m an excellent cook
I’m good with plants
I know how to do a budget
I can come up with one-liners quickly and make people laugh
I give a great sensual massage
I have a spiritual heart and mind
I like to learn
I can run 5 miles
I can lay shingles and solder copper plumbing pipe
I can refinish a wood floor
I can do a good imitation of Marvin the Martian and the Little Ceaser’s Pizza Pizza Guy
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue (just like Gaudere!)
I can ride a horse
I can make people feel at ease
I can talk to anyone about anything
I can travel by myself and not be afraid
I think I have a great figure and great definition in my muscle tone, especially my abs (6-pack!)
I’m an excellent swimmer
I can sing out loud and not care who hears me eventhough my singing is…well…not great
Kids like me
Men are comfortable around me
I have patience with ignorant people
I can handle irate customers and make them leave feeling like they’ve accomplished something
I have an excellent memory for trivia stuff
I can plan a memorable trip
I can put up fruits and veggies for the winter with a pressure cooker
I can scale and gut a fish
I can skin and gut a deer
I can cook over a camp fire
Anyone impressed? I didn’t think so! :wink:

26

I can turn on any radio station and identify the song thats playing withing 2 seconds

I can clear a two foot bong without coughing

I can bench press 260 pounds

I got a 31 on my ACT even though I was puking from a hangover an hour before I took it

I can beat anyone at multiplayer James Bond on N64

I can do a backflip

I can dance at a club and not be embarassed

I can type 80 words per minute

I can play guitar behind my back

I can quote every Seinfeld and Simpsons episode verbatim

I can be modest now and end this message

27

I am apparently the only person who took the ACT without a hangover (33, with 34/35 in science/english respectively) :slight_smile:

I didn’t drink until I graduated college; I was underage the whole time.

I was used as a test subject for IQ tests when I was a little kid.

I can run a mile in under 7 minutes (OK, not very impressive, but I’m hoping to get it to six!)

“Eppur, si muove!” - Galileo Galilei

28

Let’s see:

I developed a standard for technical training manuals at 2 of my jobs that are still the norm 5 years later and have been copied by other companies.

I know every word to every song on every CD I have (all 400+ of them)… ok so that’s pretty lame

i can figure out 90% of logic/ brain teaser puzzles very quickly (not math puzzles but deductive reasoning/implied reasoning)

I can name most 80’s bands and songs by simply seeing 5-10 seconds of a video (another lame talent but good at parties)

I have been told I am excellent at taking a highly technical subject and making an analogy that can be understood by anyone (my friends used to call me analogy man) This comes from working in the training department of one of the most thought challeneged PC makers in the world.

I make some damn tasty cajun and italian food. People are always asking me to make it when they come over for dinner. (Especially my sweet potato pecan pie)

i have never chosen a bad movie when renting films. (not just my opinion but friends and family’s also)

Um that’s all I can think of right now.

To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

29

You must be fun at family reunions.
I’ll bite:

It’s all about ME :slight_smile:

I can make anyone laugh.
I can ride my bike 20 miles without a break.
I am a gud speler.
I had one full term no-complaints-not-that anyone-would-listen-pregnancy.
I lost all my pregnancy weight in 3 months.( My waist line, like old underpants, has lost it’s elastic.)
I was a straight c student in high school.
I cannot really remember high school.
I received a volleyball scholarship to college.
I quit college in lieu of work and life. Never regretted it.
I learned more about life from an old boyfriend, than college will ever teach.
I am a voracious reader and become practically obsessed with a new subject I learn and research it to death.
I’ve never had a hangover.
I can down jagermeister in one swallow.
I’m pragmatic & practical and it is a burden.
I am very good at accents ( UK/Irish/German/French/Indian (dots, not feathers, thanks Chris)
I’ve been told many times I have a lovely singing voice.
Without being ashamed of my ego or embarrassed, I know I am better than average looking when I get dolled up.
I’ve never had a boyfriend treat me like dirt.
My closet always looks like the back room at the Salvation Army.
I have at least 20 pair of shoes ( down from 50 ) and wear the same pair of birks day in, day out.
I have no patience for cooking.
I am part procrastinator, part If-I-Wait-Long-enough-someone-else-will-do-it.
I will be published one day.
I love Charades.
I can sew a button on and sew a straight line.
I can crochet potholders while watching Jeopardy.
Guys have always treated me like the kid next door.
I have really white, straight teeth.
I haven’t a clue what my eyesight is, but it’s a -6.Before glasses, everyone said I had Paul Newman eye color. After contacts, they swore my eye color was fake. ( nope.)
I don’t like too waste, but I am not penny wise pound foolish.
I like going to the movies or eating out by myself.
Doctors love me, I have an uncomplicated medical file and have never been to the emergency room in my life for me.
With the exception of my first voting experience, I have never panicked in my life.
I am a classic over correction of someone who does not overreacte to a situation.
I am not religious, but I attrack religious zealots like the gnats.

30

Okay. I own in excess of 1800 books, and have read every damn one of them.

I graduated college with a 4.0, and am still a member of the academic honors society I was nominated for in my major.

I shot Expert Marksman in the service with an M-16 rifle, and qualified above average with the M-60 machine gun, .50-caliber machine gun, and M-203 grenade launcher. (I also qualified with the old M-1 Garand, just for funsies.)

I always know which way is North.

I can quote the opening paragraphs of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in the original Middle English.

I have read virtually everything that H.P. Lovecraft, Rudyard Kipling, John Steinbeck, Leon Uris, Len Deighton, Barbara Michaels, Jack Higgins, Dean Koontz, and Louis L’Amour ever wrote.

I have a front yard that is plagued with ants, woodchucks, gophers, dog holes, weed nests, tree stumps, and old concrete foundations, and still looks fabulous from the road.

I live six and a half miles from the World’s Biggest Swimming Pool, i.e. Lake Michigan.

I married the finest woman in the Western Hemisphere.

I can jabber in at least six languages, and I’m fairly good at at least two.

I’m damn near an expert at Nazi history, and I can tell you the difference between a member of the Waffen-SS, Allgemeine-SS, Stormtroops, Luftwaffe, Wehrmacht, Kriegsmarine, Hitlerjugend, and Reichspolizei by just a casual glance at the uniforms. (I drive friends nuts at war movies by pointing out all the discrepencies on the screen.)

I have been published. (Woo-woo!)

I can cook. I can do laundry. I make beds. I do dishes. I vacuum the carpets. I even do windows. And I am male. My wife adores me.

I can discourse at length on most any silly subject that comes up on SDMB threads…

31

I can kick any of your asses at Trivial Pursuit. (or Jeopardy – 90%? Hah! Piker!) Bring it on.

“Owls will deafen us with their incessant hooting!” W. Smithers

32

I have never lost at Trivial Pursuit (do I hear a call for an SDMB tournament?)

I had a try out with a major league baseball team. Didn’t have a good day. Was invited back the next year, but didn’t go.

As a kid I read the encyclopedia, for fun.

The challenge is the thing. Once I master something, I lose interest.

I just got promoted to Vice President.

I love music. I sing - choral, quartet, duet, and solo. On a whim I bought a banjo and am teaching myself to play. I have written a song which was performed by a choir, but I have never heard it. I do not read music.

I can wiggle my ears.

I am in the worst physical shape in my life, but can still withstand a punch in the stomach Houdini style.

I had an AARP membership card at age 16.

This whole excercise is weirding me out, and I don’t know why.

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

33

wow, when i started posting to these boards the other day i had no idea there was such a totally developed culture going on here. now i’ve been to the teeming millions page and know better…do you accept newbies?

i speak three languages
i have lived on three continents
i survived cancer
i always win games of you don’t know jack
i can spell any word you can throw at me

that’s about it. gad. what a short list!

34

“I am in the worst physical shape in my life, but can still withstand a punch in the stomach Houdini style.”

Meaning, you die a week later?

35

I capitalize proper nouns and the first words of sentences.

I proofread before posting.

I place a line space between paragraph to make reading my posts more easy.

I always make sure I post to the right thread.

Oh… never mind.

36

“…more easy”

No comment

37

I gots 10 toes. Yep, sure do; jest counted ‘em. Good thang I gots 11 fingers or I woulda lost track whilst countin’.
Top that.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

38

The above is provided as comic relief before we all start taking ourselves way too seriously.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

39

Contrary to what Letterman would have you believe, Stupid Human Tricks are not without their downside.

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

40

“I had an AARP card at 16”
Epilepsy? Just curious, my father got one at 40.

I can weird people out by having them look into my eyes.