Aiight, it’s sort of a given that occasionally I’ll pitxplode all over the place and lambast people for slyly working ego into otherwise seemingly innocuous posts. Therefore…here’s why I think I’m the shit, and you should too:
I am openly bisexual and proud of it.
I give amazing head.
When I do, I am a fantastic flirt.
I can touch my tongue to my nose.
I am raising awesome kids.
When drunk, I can dance like no one’s business.
I find the beauty in at least one ordinary thing every day.
I don’t tell other peoples’ secrets.
I am openly, rather than underhandedly, a bitch.
I make killer deviled eggs.
Your turn. (You know, generic “you”.) Why are YOU awesome? What makes you so goddamned special? Openly, honestly, none of this, “my friends say” or “I don’t really believe this, but…” Why are you absolutely 100% the bomb diggety?
I don’t mean that when I give head, I’m a fantastic flirt. I think it’s understood that when one is actually in the act of giving head, flirting is pretty much like pitching bricks in the Grand Canyon. Any misrepresentation, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
I am a good friend.
I am a funny person.
People enjoy talking with me.
I am a good listener and I help my friends.
I remember '80’s rock trivia.
I am a good kisser.
I am a great uncle.
Keith
I have great clothes
I have a flexible wrist and double-jointed fingers
I’m loyal
Cats like me
I make people laugh
I give good hugs
I have a flexible wrist and double-jointed fingers
I smell nice
I can get smashed on a glass of champagne
[li]I’m pretty gosh-darn cute[/li]
[li]I’m an excellent cook and hostess[/li]
[li]I smile easily and often[/li]
[li]I have the cutest, smartest son in the world[/li]
[li]I have the love of the greatest, most wonderful man in the world[/li]
[li]I am the perfect height for a woman (and getting to the perfect weight. Woo Hoo! Just ten more pounds to lose!)[/li]
[li]I have the most amazing, supportive friends in the world[/li]
[/ul]
Wow, putting it that way makes me realize how lucky I really am. God, it’s good to be me.
*I seem to be more mature than most of my peers in high school (but that isn’t that hard to accomplish, either)
*I’m a great writer
*I’m great at Simpsons trivia, to the point where it could be considered an illness
*[Rain Man]I’m an excellent driver[/Rain Man]
*I like the fact that I appreciate classic, well made movies and TV shows. While I love art pieces like Citizen Kane or The Godfather, my peers think American Pie is a work of art.
*I’m intelligent
*I’m empathetic
*I have common sense
I’m usually able to see everyone’s side in a differing of opinions.
I’m a good father to my son, and a good friend to his mom.
I try to be compassionate at all times.
I’m extremely creative.
I’m funny.
I’m usually honest, both to others and myself.
Thanks Hamadryad, I’m really beginning to enjoy your ego lately.
I make delectable lamb korma.
I read fast. (I know you all do round here, but that doesn’t make it any less good)
I could rim for England.
I cut and dye my own hair and it looks bloody good. (currently a layered bob - the shortest I’ve ever done — pictures may be coming soon)
I have a really really nice arse.
I’m getting better as a person. See me, see PROGRESS.
I’m smart.
I remember peoples birthdays.
I make the worlds best pie pastry.
I can blow glass.
I’m fuckin’ HILARIOUS!
I can find goodness in all people.
I’m a perfect size 5.
I can draw anything.
I’m a terrible speller, and proud of it.
I can put both my feet behind my head at the same time.
I have the cutest, smartest, most wonderful kids in the world
I am a wonderful cook… everyone loves my food
I’m an awesome and uninhibited lover
I have really pretty blue eyes
After having two kids I still weigh 110 lbs., can wear a size 3 and I eat anything I want!
I’m faithful to my man
I love to make people laugh
I can pop my hips out of socket (it really grosses people out)
I have a nice ass
I can pick stuff up with my toes
I’m good at pop culture trivia questions
I can type 75 wpm
I cured cancer and AIDS.
I proved Fermat’s last theorem.
I walked on the moon.
I discoverd the moon.
I help out Cecil when he’s stuck on a problem.
I pick up the tab at Dope-fests.
I always leave the last two cookies.
I translated the Vedas.
I solved the Beall treasure mystery.
I figured out who shot JFK.
I proved the negative.
I’m the role model.
I’m fluent in 268 languages.
I’m able to converse in numbers.
I’m faultless, to a fault.
I’m profound.
I’m profoundly modest.
but most important,
I tip-toe into my son’s bedroom at night and peer into his crib just to watch him sleep.
I know a little bit about a lot of things.
I can carry on a conversation with just about anyone.
I once gave my SO a birthday present of the following: A trip to Charlottesville’s Boar’s Head Inn in a convertible, an overnight stay with dinner at the Inn’s restaurant, breakfast in bed the next morning, a hot air balloon followed by a champagne brunch, a trip to a flea market where I bought her a garnet broach, the trip back to Richmond in the convertible taking only country roads, and to top it off we stayed in bed the whole, rainy Sunday that ended the weekend. I estimate that, including the trip to Charlottesville as foreplay, we made love for 72 hours.
I have a very well defined, hairy chest and can wear a speedo bathing suit without looking ridiculous.
I’m sorry, but my daughter is the most wonderful kid in the world. You can look it up.
I have a dry sense of humor.
I can laugh at myself.
I can play tennis well.
I’m male and live by myself, but my apartment is always clean and presentable.
I have very good taste.
I’m a good listener, but if you ask for an opinion you’ll get an unvarnished answer.
I write erotica that has to be printed on asbestos paper.
I’m loyal to a fault.
I don’t lie.
I’m a good cook and love to entertain.
I could go on and on, but modest keeps me from doing so.
Darn it all, thinksnow beat me to it!
And Mistress Dryad peeked at my list. Nevermind the fact that she started this thread, just believe me on this people.
Rachelle should be drawn and quartered for being 110 after children. And I would do it too if I weren’t so happy for her. Way to go girl!
As for me:
I am openly bi and poly
I am raising five wonderful children
I am friendly, open and honest
I sew, tat, and crochet
I bake like there is no tomorrow
I am a great listener
I am compasionate
I work hard for what I have
I live and love freely
I have the best sword collection of anyone I know.
I can cook awesome meats and sweets. (Just no veggies…yecch!)
I’m strong and fit, without being a gym-bot.
I don’t drink alcohol, ever.
I’m on the advisory board of an environmental charity.
I have a dry sense of humor.
I make the best puns ever. (No, they’re good! I swear!)
I’m good at most things that I try.
I know a lot of random things about zoology, physics, and obscure words.
I can often think about a question/problem and come up with the answer even if it’s not in my area of expertise.
I will always help my friends if they really need me.
[list][li]I receive amazing head (since I got married the frequency is once every ten years - sigh).[/li][li]I’m semi-openly bisexual and comfortable with it.[/li][li]I can write erotica that makes women’s blood boil and brings strong men to their knees, which is a shame because I can’t take advantage of the presence of a horny woman OR a kneeling man these days.[/li][li]I am the handsomest fat man you’ll ever meet.[/li][li]I have a deep, sonorous speaking voice and a singing voice like hot fudge - you can feel the vibrations in your body when I’m speaking to you, and it will make you all hot and bothered.[/li][li]Even though I no longer allow myself to flirt (much) I can still make women moan with ecstasy even if my wife is in the room. I do this by cooking for them.[/li][li]I can spontaneously generate smartassed alternate lyrics to songs on command.[/li][li]I am the Haiku Master.[/li]My son thinks I know everything.
I have the perfect child. No really, Christ has nothing on my boy. =)
I can hold a conversation indefinately on almost any subject.
I’m proud to be a militant carnivore.
I smoke and have NO plans to quit. Ever.
I make a killer frozen Carmelita.
I can hold my own in StarCraft, Half Life, and kick some ass at Army Men. (I’m getting a -little- better at Quake… but nothing to brag about yet.)
I’m easy to get along with.
I smell nice.
I have perfect lips and great green eyes.
I’m completely oblivious to a “perfect” height or size for a woman to be and thusly am not compelled to slouch, wear heels or starve myself on a regular basis.
I’m openly a feminist and make no apologies for it.
I’m openly straight. =) (In my circle… thats alot like coming out of the closet in Alabama)
Cthulhu loves me.
I’ve watched enough MST3K to kill an elephant.
I dont care if you put your feet on the table and have been known to leave empty pizza boxes gasp on the table waitforit OVERNIGHT!
I can have just as much fun playing video games, watching wrestling and eating pizza as I can sitting in a smoke-filled coffeehouse, rambling on about philosophy.
I can take a joke.
I know the difference between Camarilla and Sabbat, Lupines and Gangrels, the Technocracy and The Hollow Ones, The KuiJin(sp?) and Bastet. I can also quote from both Hol books.
I know who Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is.
I know as much about Charles Manson as I do the Titanic. (Yes, I research compulsively.)
Im perfectly content to watch Discovery, The History Channel and the Learning Channel unti my eyes bleed.
I’ve managed to keep your attention this long, so obviously, I rock.
I’m a very honest person.
I can be very sexy if I want too.
I can talk like Donald Duck.
Kids love me and I love them.
I’m kind.
I’m the most stubborn person you can meet.
I can paint pictures.
I’m very good doing blowjobs.
I have very much commen sence.
I’m soooo silly sometimes.
I’m smart.
