We have a pretty good relationship with our neighbors (except when they throw a party every 6 months or so and we end up with cigarette butts and beer cans in our yard). We’ve decided we are going to put up a six-foot privacy fence between their lot and ours.
Another reason, besides the parties, is that they store unused kids’ stuff (riding toys, hockey net) along their garage where it is out of sight to them. Of course all that crap is in plain sight to us and it’s damn ugly.
My questions: Should I tell them ahead of time? Or just get it done without the heads-up? What is a good response when he asks why (and he will)? I know this post doesn’t make it sound like it, but they’re generally good people. I’m searching for a response that will not insult but will be believable.
I suspect I am trying to be too nice. 
Advice?
mmm
IF you are asked any questions, tell them you’re planning to put in a pool and it’s a liability thing–you’d hate the precious neighborhood kids to fall in. I seriously doubt they’re going to ask any questions when no pool is installed. But if they do, you could always say an unexpected emergency expense came up and you ran out of money.
This really only works if you fence in your whole yard. If you’re just fencing the side of your yard that’s shared with this neighbor, maybe you could say you ran out of money before the fence could be completed? But of course that’s going to look shady.
Do you both agree where the property line is? You don’t have to tell them ahead of time, but once you have a line laid out I’d consult them to make certain you both agree the fence is on your property.
Definitely this. When I bought my current house 3 1/2 years ago, I talked to my neighbor first just so we’d be in agreement about the property line. Also it would be neighborly and proper to build the fence so the finished side faces their property, not yours (assuming you’re going with a standard wood panel fence.)
I don’t why you have to rationalise putting up a fence, though. Unless doing so would block a vegetable garden or flower beds from getting enough sun, or something like that.
I noticed that in America there is not a lot of houses with fences between them. In Melbourne Australia I’d say that 99% of houses have fences between houses.
IMO, you don’t need to justify putting up a fence.
It depends upon where it is in the US.
In Nevada, where I from all the yards are fenced. In the Midwest where I now live, fences aren’t common outside of the cities and people use hedgerows or trees to delineate the property lines.
Even where fences are common in the Midwest,South and Northeast, they are rarely the taller privacy fences that you see on the West Coast. Most are either low chain link fences or picket or decorative ones.
I would discuss it with them for two reasons; to make sure that you have it on your property line and as a courtesy to them. If they don’t ask why, don’t provide a reason. Most people feel the need to over explain things and end up saying something they regret. Hell, if they are on board with the idea, you might even ask if they would be willing to pay partially for the portion of shared property. Most parents like the idea of being able to put thier kids in the back yard and not have them wander; and getting part of a fence paid for is a good deal for them as well.
+1 on the finished side out.
I had to get a signed OK from my neighbor before I could get my fence permit. Fences are to be 1.5’ off the property line, unless you want them to connect to the neighbor’s fence, in which case they need to agree. And it’d be totally weird to have a space between fences.
Anyway, you might HAVE to talk to your neighbor about it, depending on where you want to put it. Check with your city.
If I didn’t have to…I dunno, I probably would. If I had a good enough relationship with them.
I talked to my mother’s neighbor when she was thinking about putting up a privacy fence. She wanted him to understand that she was not being unfriendly and didn’t want him to take offense.
His eyes lit up and said to let him know about the cost and perhaps they could share the cost of the line between them or he could hook onto it.
You never know, your neighbors may be delighted to have a privacy fence between you.
You could say that your wife wants to sunbathe in the summer and feels uncomfortable about her body. Maybe you’re thinking about getting a puppy? Or maybe you are becoming a nudist? You could also use the excuse that it’s for security purposes.
I understand not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, especially when you’re on friendly terms. Just stress that they will still be invited to BBQ’s and to hang out.
Coincidentally I just had a a fence built to enclose my backyard, and I had to obtain approval from the HOA which included signatures from both of my neighbors. So they both knew ahead of time. Now that it is up they both like it. It also helps define their property, too and they get the nice looking side.
Also… it’s been written that good fences make good neighbors.
Most HOAs disapprove of concertina or razor wire fencing.
I would let the neighbours know that I’m putting up a fence, but I wouldn’t go into any detail about why. If they ask, I’d just say something about wanting more privacy in the back yard or something vague like that.
We’re planning to move this summer, and I’d love to put up a massive fence all around our new property as the first thing we do upon moving in, before we have any relationships to worry about - I loves me some back yard privacy!
I’ve been on both sides of this issue, not with a fence but with various problems with noise, clutter, etc. Just follow your local codes and you will be golden. If you even discuss the fence with your neighbors you may not need to give a reason.
Apart from this, it sounds like you have good neighbors. Personally, if I was in your shoes and they specifically asked me why I was building the fence, I’d be honest but I’d try to own it as my issue and I’d definitely start by saying that I appreciate having as good of neighbors as they are. I wouldn’t disrespect them by lying to them.
My parents’ neighbors put up a privacy fence. The guy who did it installed a section of fence that could swing down to create a nice long waist-high area. He also installed latches on both sides so that it could only go down if everyone wanted it down. I thought that was a nice compromise between wanting privacy but also wanting to stay neighborly.
Our new neighbours are our best friends for the last 20 years and we’re still putting up a privacy fence as soon as the grading is complete. Sure there will be a large double gate that we can leave open if we’re entertaining jointly but neither of us hesitated on the fence question, we’ll work on it together but it’s going up between us.
I’m really surprised that some here would put the finished side toward the neighbors. I feel that I’m paying for it, I should enjoy the ‘nice’ side. They don’t care that we have to look at all their crap piled along their garage, I’m not going to worry that they have to see the back of the fence.
Us desiring a pool would not be believable. Neither would us getting a dog (particularly because we’re not enclosing the entire yard).
There is currently a chain link fence along the property line FWIW.
The fence would run only between our two properties, so it will be obvious that it is them from whom we desire privacy.
I agree that I need not justify it; I’m just looking for a tactful answer to the inevitable ‘why’. (I prefer not to say something like “I don’t owe you any explanation.”)
mmm
I’d say just tell him you want to do it. If he asks why, and he might not, just say so that he isn’t stuck looking at your backyard. A lie but a tactful one.
In my neighborhood in California everyone has fences. We just replace ours, and we got a wooden one with two nice sides. It was a major neighborhood project, since we did two sides of the yard, and since the properties behind us don’t line up with the ones on our side, lots of people got involved.
Generally, the nice side is also harder to climb over as you don’t have a cross beam to use as a foothold. So it is win win as you are more secure (marginally) and it looks like you’re being a nice person.