It may be hard to articulate what I am trying to get at, so bear with me.
I am a Med Student, and I am scheduled to get married next summer. So far, I have taken out loans to support myself (50K/yr, ~30K for School and ~20K for misc), but after next summer, my fiance/wife will be moving down here and will have a nursing job, and so I won’t have to take out the full amount, but rather will only take out the 30K or so for school. Then, when I graduate, I will start residency, and get paid ~40K for several years, then will become a full fledged independent doctor at the ripe age of about 30, at which point I will be making probably upwards of 150K. That’s the plan.
But then again, sometimes plans change, all my professors and doctors say it’s a bad idea to get married during school, etc. I’ve heard the tales of doctors getting divorces after residency. And so has she. And honestly, shit happens sometimes… Key point is, I realize the very real chance of a divorce happening, be it during med school, my residency, or sometime down the road. That’s what’s prompting this question.
Theoretically, if I have a midlife crisis or something and we were to get divorced, what sort of financial obligation would I have to her? She wouldn’t actually be paying for my education, but she would be putting a roof over my head and food in my belly for several years while I got it. What are ways around this potentiality? What should I do? And as much as it may be the most logical thing to do, the “don’t get married” answer doesn’t really help…
This is why Karana created prenuptial agreements. Talk to a lawyer in your jurisdiction to get advice on the division of marital property, and what type of agreements are enforcable. Bear in mind that the law varies from state to state, so if you plan to move you need to consider the laws of other states as well.
Whether you want to hear it, or not, you’re not ready to get married. If you love the woman, then be completely candid w/ her and let her decide. You have no moral right to deceive her, or yourself, by entering into a marriage that your not fully committed to.
In a very few years your likely to be in a position to make real life and death decisions for people that you barely know. What does it say about you, that you would be less than candid w/ a person that you profess to love?
Time to grow up and face the realities of life.
I didn’t see anywhere in his query about not being committed. Sounds to me like he just wants to know what the possible fallout is of a possible fallout, if you will.
IANYL, I don’t do divorce/family law, this isn’t legal advice, etc.
That being said, most jurisdictions require the husband (or breadwinner) to maintain the status of his ex-spouse at a lifestyle substantially similar to what she had when they were married. There are a lot of factors that go into this decision, i.e. factor into the amount: level of support provided by both parties (monetary and non-monetary), sacrifices made by the non-breadwinner, length of marriage, any promises made, etc. In general, depending on the jurisdiction, alimony will equal to the breadwinner’s contribution to the household. In community property states (like CA), that’s pretty much a given (assuming no prenuptial agreement, and that has to be written pretty well, in general), plus half of the marital assets. Other jurisdictions will take into account the value of the marital assets into the alimony equation. Having kids makes everything more complicated, and also more expensive, tilting thing past a 50/50 split. I’m sure I’m missing a lot of other nuances. It’s best to consult an attorney in this field.
Sounds to me that is exactly what he is doing. Rather than treating this as a juvenile fling, he is researching the practical steps that might have to be taken. As to discussing it with his fiancee, the only thing he CAN do is an agreement in advance-which by definition requires discussion. Personally, I don’t agree with contracts related to marriage-the idea bothers me (and my wife). But I am entirely in favor of discussing the idea. In order to do that, information is needed. Good for the OP.
I think he’s looking at this realistically, regardless of the love he feels for his girl. Good on him!
If you’re wondering if this would be fair to your fiancee should things fall apart, maybe you could agree to pay back a percentage of the support money should things go south. I personally think it’s fair to compensate someone for basically supporting you through school, if the relationship falls apart within a certain time period…say 5 years (arbitrarily) after you’re in private practice. I don’t know how I’d figure it exactly, but her time and effort toward your career is also an investment in HER future and should be recognized somehow.
You need to talk to a lawyer in your jurisdiction. There is no substitute. State laws vary a lot on this stuff. It can be very complicated. Spend a little money and talk to a family lawyer, preferably one who has some expertise in estate planning and asset protection.
Although you should talk to a lawyer in your jurisdiction (and he or she will likely tell you this), the legal question will most likely be decided on the basis of the law of the jursidiction of your marital residence at the time of the divorce, which could vary significantly from the law of the state you are going to school in.
For instance, in New York the value of a medical education and medical practice are included in equitable distribution when the parties were married during medical school, residency and the building up of the practice.
To some extent this uncertainty (not knowing the jurisdiction where the lawsuit will be filed) can be managed by a choice of law clause in a prenup. Many jurisdictions will honor a choice of law clause in a prenup, at least to some extent. That’s one of the reasons why it’s important to talk to a lawyer.