How does one tell “real” depression, the clinical kind, from just feeling blue or sad for a little while?
Are there yes/no questions that can pin down how serious a person’s “down” feelings are?
There are evaluative questionnaires that you get when you visit the doctor for both depression and anxiety.
This is pretty much what you get. Depression Test — Am I Depressed? | Psych Central
But its best to evaluate over time and to have it done professionally. Self administering would be a start for “this is normal” or “get your ass to the doctor.”
Not being glib, but if it feels like it’s not normal it probably isn’t.
A big clue for most people: physical symptoms like changes in appetite, sleep, and energy levels.
A big clue for me: the content of my thoughts. I am also prone to the motor symptoms, like agitation and psychomotor retardation (slow walking and talking).
Indecisiveness is another big thing for me. Depression usually saps away my affect. Without strong emotions, even the most analytical mind has a hard time making decisions.
I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you all for the replies.
In the last couple of months I’ve worked really long hours. Everyone else in the cafe also seems stressed out. I’m tired and I don’t know if it’s the work or not. I used to love my job, lately, since the kitchen manager and I have been at odds, I don’t even want to go to work. Last Thursday I talked to the cafe owner about work issues, then I had three days off. Today the kitchem manager wouldn’t speak to me unless it was work related, and even then was curt, abrupt.
The thing is that the manager is usually a nice person, and we have, most of the time, got along very well. Now I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, lest a quarrel be set off. Is it their fault, is it mine? I don’t know. You all can’t get their side of the story, their POV, so maybe it’s not fair to be talking about it.
I just want things to be like they used to be. I’ve been at this job for fifteen years, and I’m too old to start over. I feel stuck.
During the three days off, were you still miserable? Were you able to enjoy your life outside of work, or did you spend the time being depressed about your work situation and not enjoying anything, even if it wasn’t work related?
I did have a family birthday party I enjoyed, and I took my mom out for breakfast. But in the back of my mind I wondered, all the time, what today would be like, whether or not the owner talked to the manager and got their POV. He must have, as the manager acted like shit to me today.
it’s normal to feel depressed when things aren’t going right for you. But if you still feel depressed when everything is ok, then you may have chronic depression. For me, it’s like going through life chained into a wheelchair. I know damn well I can walk - even fly - but I can’t unlock the chains.
When you were off work, you said you wondered how things would be when you went back. If it were me and in the midst of depression I would be obsessing on how awful it would be, how things would be worse, etc. What my therapist called “awfulizing”. If you are able to avoid assuming the worst while wondering, then in my experience it’s probably normal and not real serious depression.
I hope things improve at your job, Baker.
I got the feeling that you’ve been especially depressed because of your father. I think it’s been pretty obvious from a lot of your posts over the last few months. Is that really weighing on you, to the extent that every other area of your life is being affected?
Honestly, I think this is the wrong question to ask. If you’re feeling down for a period of time, as Sampiro said, if it seems abnormal, it probably is. If anything, I think trying to self-diagnose whether it’s clinical depression, chronic stress, or whatever is sort of putting the cart before the horse. That is, there’s no shame in seeking some help, everyone needs it from time to time, and if how your feeling is largely just the result of some circumstances in life, like family drama, stress at work, then talking to someone can still help ease that, give different perspectives, or even help resolve the situation sooner and better. If you’re still feeling down and having other symptoms of depression even when there’s not an obvious set of circumstances, seek help for that too. Even that may not be depression, it could be related to anything from chronic lack of sleep, poor diet, no exercise, or any number of things. Hell, even many people with depression can manage it to some extent by looking at those things, that’s how I manage mine, and for the most part, it works fairly well for me.
Either way, I’d suggest just making a quick appointment with a professional and having a session or two and let him or her answer some of your questions, do an evaluation, give some advice, or maybe just listen.
I agree talking to someone can help regardless of whether it’s “real” depression or situational depression or whatever. Do be aware though that some professionals are very intent on drugs as treatment for depression. I don’t mean drugs are never helpful but personally I found talking to a person who was licensed as a Marriage and Family Counselor (even though my issues had nothing to do with either marriage or family) was the solution for me. If she had felt drugs were needed she had a psychiatrist she could refer me to.
There are so many sites out there on the Web for every mental health (or medical condition) imaginable. Lots of good answers here but there are sites, blogs and such that even more specific. Also, Yahoo has some really good groups for health issues, including some very offbeat and excellent ones run by sane, knowledgeable people, such as one on alternative prostate cancer treatment, which is full of lively and informative discussions. Anyway, good luck…
Feeling stuck is a sure way of feeling really down. Down enough that it’s meaningless to try to decide if it’s depression or not.
Seeing a therapist could be a resource, but it sounds like your problem is with the kitchen manager so the best thing could be focusing on how you internalize the problem.
There is cognitive based therapy (CBT) which helps a lot of people with this sort of thing. If there is a way of not worrying about the other person’s reaction, it makes it a lot easier than walking around on eggshells.
We can’t change other people, all we can do is change our reaction to them.
Hope things get better.
TokyoBayer, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the post.
I feel guilty about having work troubles, or talking about them. Everyone has problems, mine must seem pretty mild to some people. I got short with my mom the other day, and blurted out my difficulties. This to a woman who has lost her husband, my father, a year and a half ago, then found out she needed chemo for lung cancer… Way to go, Baker, make your mom feel bad. She’s the one lending me her van, a second vehicle, since my car was totaled by a hit and run driver ten days ago. An aside on that, I just found out today the jerk who struck the car gave an invalid policy number and company name to the police. That means I’m screwed and will have to find a new car on my own.
To answer Baker’s question, it’s pretty easy to tell if you have “real” or clinical depression. If you are not sure if you are clinically depressed or just sad, then you are not clinically depressed.
The emptiness you feel when clinically depressed goes beyond any feeling of sadness I’ve ever experienced. The feeling is impossible to understand by persons who have never experienced it, but here is the best attempt I’ve seen to help people understand.
Even though Baker may not be clinically depressed, that doesn’t mean he is not miserable. It sounds like Baker’s life is very thoroughly in the crapper.
**Baker ** it does no good to compare your troubles to anyone else’s. One of the first things my therapist told me is that you get to feel how you feel. That was one of the hardest things for me to learn but it’s important. I’m sorry your life seems to be giving you more than your share to handle, but just don’t go beating up on yourself because of how you’re handling it! You certainly “deserve” to feel pretty lousy with all that’s going on. I hope things improve for you soon. And don’t worry about telling your troubles to your mom; sometimes when we’re suffering from our own stuff it helps to have something (or someone) else to think about.