Question about homosexual encounter thread

It is true that having one or a few homosexual encounters doesn’t make someone gay. But does enjoying them make someone bisexual?

I would say so; after all, human sexuality comes in shades of grey - one can be mostly heterosexual with the occasional homosexual urge or vice-versa.

However, I also think that labels are what you make of them; if you [generic you] don’t think the label “bisexual” applies to you, then it doesn’t.

Complicated enough?

I’m inclined to call bullshit. Given the way the OP is phrased, if you tried it and you liked it… you just might be a bisexual. :smiley: You may never have an opportunity to do it again. You may even outgrow the desire. But if you enjoyed it, you’re in that gray area of the bi spectrum. If you can be gay and celebate, you can be bi and not have same gender sex.

I’m having difficulty thinking how to write this…

I’m not trying to define the requirements to be bisexual, rather trying to see if a particular situation would mean someone was definately bisexual.

If someone has sex with members of both gender, and enjoys sex with both. Are they then bisexual? Or are there situations where such a person should be considered other than bisexual?

For instance if someone has sexual feelings for one gender in general but also for a single individual of the other gender and acts upon those feelings are they de-facto bisexual?

Then that would make a great number of people in prison bisexual, because they’ve had a homosexual encounter. That idea discounts the situational aspect of the experience, though, which is absurd.

I don’t think that one can be called bisexual unless one is capable of not only having sex with someone of either sex, but also having an emotional relationship with them as well. That, of course, IMHO.

In social circles, we don’t call people who will have sex with anyone a bisexual, we call them “opportunists.”

Again, my take is yes.

If you [generic] have sexual feelings about a person of your own gender, then there is clearly an exception to your otherwise heterosexual predeliction. No? We commonly refer to that behaviour/tendency as bisexual. It’s not a bad thing. No better or worse than being hetero or gay. It’s just a convenient label. It may have some negative connotations for some people but that’s their deal. There are gay and bi and trans folks affraid to come out for fear of being judged. I don’t blame them. Society at large still tends to view them as somehow ab-normal. To that extent, I can appreciate someone not wanting to be tagged with a “bi” label. That’s fine. I’m not suggesting we go around outing everybody for their own good. So if you’re just keeping it on the down low and calling yourself straight, it’s no skin off my nose. It’s not me you’re fooling.

I disagree that anyone who isn’t 100%, no grey-area hetero or homosexual must be bisexual, simply because that would make, IMHO, most of the population bisexual, and really severely limit the utility of the term.

I’m female. I really like looking at attractive women. I’ve never had a homosexual encounter, never really wanted to, but I do like looking at attractive women, and it would be a lie to say that there isn’t some element of sexuality in that. So I can’t say I am 100% heterosexual, but I think that describing myself as bisexual would be somewhat dishonest–I think the word connotes a stronger degree of dual-sex attraction than what I demonstrate.

Where exactly is the line? I don’t know, and I think the issue is so vauge that it makes more sense to let people define themselves.

And that would be a bad thing how?

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. :wink:

Seriously, I’m male and I do the same thing. I am capable of admiring an attractive man. But this admiration is about as sexual as me admiring Michael Angelo’s David. Humans are drawn to beauty whether they admit it or not. We should rush to calling ourselves bi just because we recognize beauty in a same sex individual. But if we act, or even want to act, on that attraction…

Like I said, I’m not looking to force labels on people. But if I hear hoof beats, I generally don’t look for zebras.

Note that the non-usual sexual encounter is enjoyed. So prison sex doesn’t necessarily count, but someone who had prison sex, and enjoyed it maybe does.

I sense people are affraid of being considered or considering others as bisexual, as if bisexual is a bad thing.

Not me. I say bring 'em on. They are often the most fun at a party. Except of course for you homos. :smiley:

'Cept me. 'Cuz I’m not. Why? What have you heard?! :slight_smile:

Hey, as a bisexual male I 've got my share of prison fantasies…
I still don’t think that a single (or a few) same sex encounters automatically makes one a bisexual. Is there a magic number that does? No. I think is purely a self-identifying concept.

I think they’ve settled on bi-curious. For those who just can’t quite commit, I guess… :slight_smile:

The dictionary isn’t much help, either. Or maybe it is. Seems to me if you are attracted to members of both sexes, you’re bisexual. Or maybe you’ve explored the other side a bit. That could be either just experimenting or an actual attraction to the same sex, but that’s in your head entirely, so how would anyone else know unless you a.) acknowledge it and b.) tell somebody. Bi-curious, maybe? Doesn’t quite fit if you’ve already acted on it.

As opposed to most of the population being identified as heterosexual and not acknowledging the same gender attractions that many people, to greater or lesser extents, have?

I do agree that there is a strong tendency to avoid the bisexual label. The portion of my brain that carries around socially installed norms links bisexuality with promiscuity. Maybe it’s just the idea that bi- indicated multiple partners (or at least interest) from the get-go, where hetero and homosexuality carry at least the possibility of monogomy.

I know, I know. I’m not saying that I LIKE all of the factory installed software I’m carrying around. I’m just using it as a reference.

I find that rather presumptous. In fact I think I resent it just a tad. Ss I guess I would qualify as one of the people you’re addressing. I’ve had sex with women. I’ve enjoyed it. Well, if you have no particular aversion to sex with the same …er…sex…why wouldn’t you? Touching and rubbing and licking feels good. And not unlike gay men and fellatio, a lot of women know a thing or two about cunninlingus. What’s not to like? But I’ve nonetheless concluded I’m straight. Very. And not because I want to avoid any particular label…believe me I’ve labeled myself with a lot stranger things :slight_smile: . But because I know my orientation; sexual, emotional, romantic, is at the bottom of it, heterosexual. I’m not fooling anyone least of all myself, thank you.

As a bisexual, it would bother me a little bit. I’d like to see the term reserved for people who can form romantic attachments to either gender, not just to people who can get off with either gender. Orientation should be a little deeper than simple friction.

I don’t think bisexual is a bad thing - I’d better not, seeing as I am bisexual! What I think is a bad thing is applying any label to someone who doesn’t want to accept it.

I do think more of the population is bisexual or bicurious than strictly hetero- or homosexual, however; there’s more room in the grey area than at the ends of the spectrum, IMO.

Multiple interest, sure. Multiple partners? Not necessarily, and I find that’s part of the problem with bi-identity being perceived as negative. I’ve not had any partners, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not drawn to men more strongly than I am to women for long-term relationships. Bisexual doesn’t mean that you have to have one of each; I know a lot of bisexual women in long-term monogamous relationships with spousi of both genders.

I also know a number of polyamorous bisexual persons, but I’d bet they’re the minority if I were to count up both groups.

Plus, what Miller said.

I understand and I’m really not trying to upset anyone. I’m certainly not judging anyone based on sexual orientation or past experience. However, if we’re sticking with the dictionary definition of the word and not the cozy, touchy, feely PC take on it. Bisexual means having or having had some form of attraction to the opposite sex. It says nothing about how often that happens or how long it may last through a person’s lifetime or ultimate tendency towards which gender.

At least that’s my take on it.

Well then perhaps you’re looking to define Bisexual vs bisexual.