If I know any gay men, I’m not aware of that fact about them.
Not entirely sure about “uncomfortable”. I wouldn’t go to see a female impersonator show or go to a gay bar. Those things would make me most uncomfortable.
If one of my fishin’ buddies turned out to be gay, I don’t think that would prevent me from hangin’ out. Particularly if he knew where there was a good bass spot.
In my circle of friends and given where I live (SF Bay Area) I think most guys don’t really care whether a guy is gay or not. There’s plenty of gay guys at work and the conversations and jokes and whatnot are the same except every so often substitute a guy saying “My husband” for “My wife”.
“Uncomfortable” is too vague for me to comfortably answer the poll. My best friend from college is flamboyantly gay and my circle of friends includes a number of people who are gay or bi. Never felt uncomfortable hanging out with them. Seeing male homosexual physical intimacy, however, squicks me out in a way similar to if they were extremely unattractive women. My lizard brain is shallow like that.
I’m the same way, for the same reasons.
I said No and Typical, but I live in the Bay Area, so my notion of typical might be a bit skewed.
I’m not uncomfortable around gay men in normal social/work situations. More intimate situations are a bit uncomfortable. I think my reaction is typical of what the average straight man feels, but not what the average straight man says.
One of my friends who is a major screaming butch always goes " Really? Isn’t that a GOOD thing?"
I always go " Really? I thought it was lesbian!"
Gay as lame just sounds so fourthgradery
“Homosexual = gay = lame” is how it goes.
Ignorance fought, but I still guarantee there’s very little homophobia among male youth that happen to call things gay when they’re lame or unfortunate.
Well, I know for me when I want to refer to something as lame, I say, “Ugh, that’s so 20 year old american male who likes the stand up comedy of Eddie Izzard.” I don’t mean anything derogatory by it. That’s just the way it goes.
No but seriously, as a gay guy I’m aware of how nonchalant my generation is about saying that. It’s not insulting, necessarily but going to a high school or something is like the death of a thousand papercuts.
Now I’ll butt out of Kyla’s poll.
Don’t flatter yourself. Most gay men have very accurate ‘gaydar’. They are not all out to get you.
For myself and most people I know, it matters not one whit.
I’m certainly not uncomfortable around gay men. If one made unwanted advances toward me I would be uncomfortable, but I would be uncomfortable if a woman did so, as well (and, of course, most gay men aren’t “out to get” straight guys). All the social experiences I have had with gay men, though, have been perfectly fine and I’ve never felt disgusted, threatened, uncomfortable, or whatever. Straight or gay, I wouldn’t surround myself with people who’d make me feel like that.
However, among the men I know, I seem to be particularly open-minded. My friends have never said anything blatantly homophobic, but I can tell they’re probably not as comfortable with hanging out with a gay dude as may be. I just can’t figure it out: what is it about gay men that scares everyone so much? Christ, the ones I know have been some of the easiest-going people I’ve ever met!
Most gay men may have accurate ‘gaydar’ but there are plenty enough who don’t or don’t care. When I was young I was hit upon by too, too many guys - in locker rooms, bathrooms, parties, just walking down the street. Many were very pushy and creepy. Maybe I gave off a gay vibe, but I think it was just skeevy guys preying on the young and innocent. No different from what young girls get daily I expect. I don’t think that chastising straight guys who don’t like being hit on as “flattering ourselves” serves any useful purpose.
Now that I’m old I couldn’t care less, maybe because I haven’t been hit on in so many years, I don’t know. I work with enough gay guys who are as boring and settled as myself that it would be hard to imagine why anyone would care.
Oops! I read the question wrong, I thought it said “are you comfortable around gay men” and I selected the first “yes, typical.” Re-reading the question it should be “no, typical.”
I also read it wrong. My yes should be a no.
I don’t care, really. My best man at my wedding was gay*. I can’t see any reason why somebody’s sexual preferences would make any kind of impact on my interactions with them outside the bedroom. However, I think that enough men are squicked out by thinking about it that I can’t say my comfort level is typical.
*: We’re no longer friends for reasons unrelated to him being gay: he was constantly in some crisis and his victim act got old. I’ve severed relationships with straight friends for the same reason.
I think that a lot of straight men think they’re supposed to be uncomfortable around gay men but find that it’s actually no issue in practice.
I voted “No, and I think my reaction is not typical of straight men”. My uncle was gay (died from ARC in 1986) so I don’t care. My wife and I went to Cabaret Voltaire in Boys Town with her friend and his partner and had the time of our lives. The only time I felt uncomfortable was when we went to a bar with them. I was waiting for drinks and a guy kept hitting on me. Even though I told him I was straight and uninterested and married to a woman who was waiting for me at the table he wouldn’t take no and tried to put his arm around me. Now I know how a woman feels when a creepy guy won’t leave her alone.
Unfortunately, I think that most guys in my area (more rural) don’t like “homo-sexshuls” and are afraid of them. I know it’s different in the city but when you are a 15 minute drive from a Farm and Fleet, the mindset on sexual tolerance is somewhat medieval.
Completely agree.
BTW, I chose option 4.
I have no problem with the gay men I’ve know who act normal but I’m uncomfortable around the effeminate ones. Of course I also don’t like being around girly girls so it’s probably related. There was a guy on my football team in college who came out and he went from being just another one of the guys to talking with a lisp and being a walking stereotype of a gay man, it was really uncomfortable being around him.
In general I think I’m more tolerant then a lot of the people I know of course I work in a very conservative industry and am currently living in west Texas so I’m probably skewed the opposite direction of the San Francisco dopers.