I lived in the Castro in SF for two years. I never would have made it if gay men made me uncomfortable.
I have no gaydar. I have no idea whether the guy standing next to me is gay or straight. As a bit of a misanthrope, I don’t really care either. I didn’t answer the poll.
No, but not typical. Being around gay men doesn’t bother me in the least. I’ve been known to go clubbing with some of them. It’s usually fun and not the least bit intimidating. I can always simply say “not interested” if hit upon, and have done so in the past, with no problems.
I’m curious - what do you class as normal?
I voted # 3 but I don’t feel comfortable around flaming gay people the same way I don’t feel comfortable about flaming heterosexual people (male or female). Keep your cartoon sexuality to yourself.
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable around people, whether it be gay or straight. When they are noticeably uncomfortable with themselves. I.E. Social Anxiety disorder etc. If I get the vibe they are ok in their skin. It’s all good. One of my good friends is gay, not a problem.
I also find the use of the word gay as a synonym for stupid used by the young’ns these days pretty offensive and I’m straight
Well, the first things that come to mind as not normal are a limp wrist and lisp. I can’t think of any reason that being gay would cause either of them so I think of them as affectations. Beyond that I think the biggest problem that I’ve run across are the newly out constantly talking about their new world. Basically, I don’t want to be able to know your sexual orientation after a 10 minute conversation, unless you’re a hot female.
This is a whole different poll, but I’d guess that most straight men have been hit on by gay guys at least once.
I’ve been hit on twice by gay guys and both times I didn’t really know how to steer the conversation away from questions about me.
me as well
On balance I probably am, I’m guessing more so than most people I know.
I find the mannerisms of any effeminate man quite odd, same sex intimacy of any sort, even down to holding hands always gives me the heebie jeebies. I’m quite bemused by anything in the news that mentioned something like demands for equal marriage rites for homosexuals in the US.
Don’t know why, one of my favourite teachers in school was openly gay. So much so that he used to throw snippets of gay culture into lessons and tests, closely followed by something related to Doctor Who or Star Trek.
I’m not bothered at all, and I voted that I think I’m typical, but not by that much and it wasn’t always so. When I was in the Navy in the mid 80’s, it seemed like every guy I knew was casually, reflexibly homophobic. Homophobic taunts were even used as part of Basic Training. Anti-gay imprecations and denigration of GLBT people was just seen as normal.
Even then, though, I think a lot of guys just kind of went along with fag jokes and the like, not from any sincerely felt animosity, but just to go along. The kind of guys who seemed to obsessed or angry about the subject tended to creep everybody out just a little. Anti-gay sentiment, in general, was not seen as anything objectionable or rude, though.
Now things have changed a lot, gay bashing language is no longer accepted in polite conversation, and I think young peiple especially see it as more and more of a non-issue. I also think that it’s become a lot more accepted even among older geberations, though, and I think part of that has to do with GLBT people being a lot more out. I’ve read that there are studies which reflect that homophobic sentiment is significantly less likely if an individual knows at least one gay person. Gay people aren’t hidden anymore. People habe always known gay people, of course, they just didn’t KNOW that they knew gay people. Now that they know, and they can see them as people instead of cartoon sterotypes, their attides are changing dramatically.
On the other side of the coin, you have the evangelicals, but I think even among evangelicals, the younger people are starting to question the gay bashing, and even ignoring it outright.
I once read my teenage sister-in-law the riot act for describing something lame as ‘‘gay.’’
She came out to me less than six months later.
I’m not comfortable with that expression and I do think of it as a slur, but it’s definitely true that for the younger generation there is a major disconnect between the original intention of the term and what it has come to mean today.
What strikes me as amusing about people who object to using “gay” to mean “lame,” is that “lame” is, in itself a reference to physical disabilities. The intent behind the use of the word “lame” has become so disconnected from any conscious reference to people with physical disabiliuties, though, that no one ever takes offense at it, or even thinks about disabled people when they hear it.
I think “gay” could go that route as well. Maybe in 20 or 30 years, people will be surprised to even find out it ever had a connection to homosexual people.
Possibly, although that would require another word to substitute for the current meaning of “gay.”
The reason we don’t connect “lame” with disabilities is that the word “lame” is no longer used, except in very rare instances, to describe disabilities. It’s entirely possible that some other word will emerge to replace “gay” as a generic adjective referring to homosexuality, but for the moment “gay” is pretty firmly entrenched in that position.
I didn’t vote in the poll, all the answers were somehow not right at all.
I am more comfortable around some (but not all) gay guys than I am around the overwhelming vast majority of other straight guys.
A small proportion of gay guys absolutely make my skin crawl, it’s freaking atavistic or something. This population is not otherwise known as the population of gay guys who come on to me. It’s more impersonal than that (I don’t think they have the faintest expectation that anything’s going to happen between us, I think they do “it” to nearly every guy, and I’m not sure they’re even aware that they’re doing it); it’s like being looked at and openly thought about as a sexual specimen in a leering kind of way by someone who just does that in passing to damn near everyone (maybe females as well, for all I know). Like bathing in sewage, really gross.
A different small proportion of gay guys make my ears flatten. Very negative people who seem to delight in thwarting everyone. Hate-the-world people. Not that gay guys have a monopoly on it (there are straight male and straight female and lesbian equivalents) but there’s definitely a “gay guy” incarnation of it, a distinctively gay guy version of it.
Though there’s also somewhat of a difference to the extent that there is something intrinsically undesirable and negative about having a disability (please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying here; what I’m saying is something which is fairly implicit in the concept of a disability), as opposed to the fact that there is, I would say, no analogous intrinsic undesirability or negativity of homosexuality. It makes sense to put something down by intimating that it metaphorically suffers certain disabilities in a way in which it does not make sense to put something down by intimating that it is of a certain sexual orientation (except to the extent that one views those sexual orientations negatively).
I selected Yes, and I think my reaction is typical but it is only because it’s late, I’m tired, and I misread the question. I thought they asked me if I was COMFORTABLE. I meant to select NO and I think my reaction is typical.
I don’t know, maybe it’s because I spend most of my time at work in the film industry, but I really don’t know that many homophobic men. Most guys I know are pretty cool with it.
Gotcha, I guess I was thinking in terms of a gay mutual friend or acquaintance or a group of friends. My mind didn’t go there! Men can be such pigs! 
Can you blame them? Assuming an average age of 20, they’ve spent the majority of their life being told by society, don’t talk the way you want to talk, don’t move the way you want to move, don’t think the way you want to think. And it gets even worse when you get into puberty and high school. You spend every minute around other people talking, breathing, and living a lie. They finally have the courage to drop a charade that a large chunk of society would prefer they maintain until their death and you fault them for it? Crimeny, give them some time.
I never thought it was a proper insult anyway, gay or lame. A yr or so a ago, we decided to stop saying it. It took us a few months to stop b/c they always hear it at school.
A year later my 17yo daughter’s best friend confided to her that she’s gay. No kidding.