Question for you Dangerosa

[TokyoBayer]

@TokyoBayer

Whatever. As I said earlier, you’re not going to accept anything.

This should have been directed toward BB.

@CairoCarol

Is it poor form to make one’s first post in a thread on page 5? I hope not.

From you? Never.

Banquet Bear: I note that many of those people who support the OP’s concern share, at a minimum, one of these characteristics:

[ul]
[li]They adopted a child.[/li][li]They were adopted themselves.[/li][li]They parent one or more children with notable emotional, academic, behavioral, or other developmental issues.[/li][li]They have two children who are very different in terms of abilities, temperament, or other significant areas.[/li][/ul]

And you can also add for me:
[ul]
[li]They grew up witnessing blatant favoritism in their parents or grandparents.[/li][li]They have had substance abuse problems themselves.[/li][/ul]
I think that’s what first caught my eye. I don’t obsessively keep meticulous notes about the various posters, but we know Bricker is a defense attorney, etc., etc.

So, when something happens that you are interested, you notice. For example, in the post from 2011, Dangerosa does something which, IMHO, totally rocks.

@Dangerosa

You have to keep the girls engaged in order to keep them Scouts. Most girls are not interested in an organization that only has them picking up trash in parks on Saturdays and visiting Senior Centers.

BTW, Girl Scouts is its own charity. The idea is to develop “courage, confidence and character” in the girls. Part of the way they do that is through service to the community - but when you buy girl scout cookies, your money isn’t going to fight AIDS or feed the homeless. Its going to programs that Scouts feel build “courage, confidence and character” in girls and young women.

I don’t think a spa day builds much courage - but I can make a good case that it develops confidence. And character is developed in working together as a troop to manage your money - and very shortly with these girls - to get together as a troop even when your “very best friends” are not in the troop and you have little in common with the girls in your troop other than they are in your troop. For middle school girls - that right there is a huge character builder. To take TIME to spend with, work with, and support a girl outside your own little clique. Where we don’t encourage that as adults, its something girls loose in late elementary school - and if they are lucky, rediscover as adults.

My bolding.

I love that. I really wish that my parents had cared that much about us enough to devote their time to something for building our character. Totally cool. That sticks in your mind.

Then later (2013) you run into something like this (on a thread about gear, and hence the points about helmets)

@Dangerosa

Mine doesn’t play football or hockey - he does skateboard (and refuses to wear a helmet or pads), snowboard (helmet), and baseball (properly geared). (snip)

Part of it is also the commitment. When the boys were really little we missed the football meeting, but one of the other moms told me that the football coach has told them that practice was mandatory and more important than homework - we didn’t pursue football because football is NOT more important than math. And hockey, hockey takes parental dedication…

My bolding.

And this mental image of a devoted parent who goes well out of their way to support their child doesn’t seem to be the same person who wrote that.

Hockey does take parental dedication. More so than becoming a scout leader in order for the daughter to experience character development? What about learning teamwork on sports teams? Learning to apply oneself? Learning discipline?

It’s possible that the boy gets that from baseball, but still why is it so important for her to become a girl scout leader to support her daughter but not take the time for her son?

And then you start to notice that it’s this way pretty much every time the children are mentioned. Simply going by the posts (which we have repeatedly stated you can’t do) the girl gets a lot of support and her accomplishments are valued and celebrated but the boy doesn’t.

I fit into two of the above categories, and yes, I think that Sarahfeena, Green Bean, ITD, and others have a point. I also wish nothing but the best for Dangerosa and her kids, and I have no trouble believing that these other posters do as well.

As I’ve said, I really do as well.