I would LOVE to have 2. I’ve experienced that. I’ve eaten in restaurants in Japan and in parts of Europe where people don’t tip. The service was great, and I got to relax and enjoy my meal without feeling like i had to give a performance review at the end of it.
It costs me less “executive function”. It’s one fewer decision I have to make. But that’s not really why I hate tipping. I hate tipping because it feels like it exacerbates the difference in social class between the server and the served. And because “pretty girls who smile” get paid more than “competent men”. (and than competent fat women.) And because it feels a little to me like paying a bribe.
And because I don’t always know what the expectation is. I hate tipping, but I certainly don’t want to undertip and stiff the server. But… do I tip the caterer? Do I tip the mover? Do I tip the dog groomer? How much? I’ve taken to asking when I make a reservation or sign up for a service. (“is it customary to tip the ____? How much is expected?”) That’s not an enormous deal, but it’s just another thing to keep track of, and to research.
But mostly it’s the weird class thing. I don’t want to be sitting in judgement over the waiter, I just want to pay the restaurant to take care of feeding me.
I don’t think there’s any way I can change it. And I don’t spend a ton of emotional energy thinking about it. But it does make me uncomfortable.
Back before covid lockdown there were two coffee shops I regularly frequented. They were the sort of places where the staff were legally non-tipped, and while there might be a tip jar on the counter, it wasn’t socially required. I never tipped. Ever. But I did smile at the staff, and learn their names, and even chat a bit if there wasn’t someone behind me in line. It’s perfectly possible to form “bond” without tipping. I got terrific service. They’d tell me that the croissants would be out in a couple of minutes. Once when I left the line to catch my train, the server poured my coffee anyway, followed me out, handed it to me, and told me to pay tomorrow. Despite my never tipping.
This means that previously she was not having her waitstaff report cash tips, and thus was aiding and abetting tax (and insurance) fraud. She should be out the payroll taxes on the tips, she’s just annoyed that she now has to effectively always report them. If she’s not reporting them for her WC (or whatever other insurance she’s getting), she’s defrauding them as well. They’re deductible expenses still, so the fact that they are revenue does not mean she has additional taxable income - she just has additional income and expenses that cancel out in calculating taxable income.
The easy way to answer these questions is do they preform a service that you believe they could do better if they were motivated to? And will you have repeated interaction with them to train them that if they give you exceptional service they will be rewarded? If no to both don’t tip. If the first is a no because the service was amazing then tip. If it’s a yes to both then tip. If it’s a yes to the second one it’s probably worth tipping (this would be most restaurants).
See, that’s the kind of thinking that just makes me cringe. I don’t want my employee to be worried that I’ll stiff them if they don’t smile at me.
I think I will stick to asking the owner whether their staff is customarily tipped, and if so, how much. And tip that much, and not try to judge how hard they are trying.
Ehh, being pleasent is just part of a people focused job would you prefer if they were surly like the dmv? That being said I don’t want the pretty waitress to smile at me I’m more interested in an experience like my wife had this morning: when checking out of her hotel before going to wrap up her conference she asked the concierge to store her bags, instead he volunteered to load them into her valet parked car. When she picked up her car this afternoon her bags were nicely packed in the trunk and there were two cold water bottles waiting for her in the cup holders.
Hmmm…I don’t think so (necessarily, anyway). I might be misunderstanding, but aren’t tips just reported by waitstaff and the owner as income for the staff? If so the waitstaff would get taxed on them, but tips wouldn’t count as revenue for the restaurant owner at all and wouldn’t be reported as such. In the 20% service charge situation the owner is getting taxed for the additional revenue that is now added to the bill AND the waitstaff are still paying their income tax. So the owner was paying out more than she got in, because she was paying out her staff the full amount of the service charge before she paid her tax on the “extra” revenue.
I’d give her props for at least experimenting in trying to do the right thing by the back-of-house staff. Most restaurants never even attempt such a thing.
I go out to eat for the service, not the food. If I just wanted food, I’d order it takeout. If I get bad service, I want the option to pay less, (I almost never do so, but there have been times…) . Most often I overtip. Tipping gives me the option to reward servers that go above and beyond as well., so it’s an incentive for my server to provide good service.
2: Yes. Not everyone can be happy.
3: I think it’s annoying that people put so much energy into hating something this petty… It’s your right though.
I have no idea what you do for a living but it’s likely that there are busy and quiet periods in your workflow. Would you be happy if your wages reflected this so that you are paid less when things are slow?
I used to drive a truck. It is common to be kept waiting to be loaded or unloaded and some employers wanted to stop paying their drivers when they weren’t actually driving. They did offer a higher rate, but most people could easily work out who would be the loser. They were soon haemorrhaging experienced drivers.
Maybe we should start tipping DMV workers. Think about how much more pleasant and efficient those interactions would be at the DMV if they were incentivized to to be nice to you and process applications quickly so that they could collect more tips.
I don’t think it’s a trend. I think it’s just what the word means. It’s not about disagreement – if you dislike something so much you want to put in that kind of effort hate is an appropriate word.
That’s exactly how it works in India. Except we call that “bribing officials” here in the US. Honestly, tipping usually feels like bribery to me, at least when it’s expected.
So to answer the OP, I think I’ve seen three reasons articulated
Some people believe that tipping is a net win on a dollar basis for waiters, owners, and customers. I don’t really see how this is true, but it seems to have been implied in this thread.
Some folks believe that a culture of tipping improves service. IMO, this is mistaken, but the belief is what powers some people to like tipping waiters.
Some enjoy the power of having some control over the waitstaff’s income, and like to wield this power to incent the “right” behaviors.
Yeah, the big one: “this is currently the economic model, and anyone who petulantly opts out is hurting powerless people while having no effect on the system, and because I don’t want to hurt people, I pay my share.”
No, he did not. He asked why you like to leave a tip. Many people, the OP and myself included, tip in accordance with the system as it is, but do not like it and prefer it to change, even while acknowledging that that’s unlikely to happen. Your answer is off-point. It is based on a misunderstanding.