Whom were you expecting, Keira Knightly?
Does anybody really know what time it is?
That depends, are you Saving Daylight yet?
You don’t live in some part of rural Indiana, do you?
Or are you someone who wouldn’t admit to living there?
On the whole, would you rather be in Philadelphia?
What’s wrong with Pittsburgh?
Do you really want to hear the answer to that?
Did you know Pittsburgh was the biggest city near where I grew up?
Did you grow up by chance near Ligonier?
Didn’t you know I’m an Ohioan?
Does that mean you attended THE Ohio State Universtiy?
I didn’t, but do you have an hour or two for me to mock OSU’s pompousness in insisting on capitalizing that particular word?
Aren’t they all given a definite article anyway? The University of Toronto, the University of Alabama, and so on?
Are you aware that there was already a state university in Ohio when Ohio State was founded? Shouldn’t they have named it “Another Ohio State University”?
Does anyone else think that’s an excellent suggestion?
Is that kind of like Steven Wright saying we should refer to the Old Testament and the More Recent Testament?
Yes, that’s exactly the same thing, innit?
I didn’t say exactly, did I?
Wait, wouldn’t the New Testament be the most recent one?