Right; do you mind?
Well, okay, but speaking only for myself, may I just say that I wouldn’t in the least think that Cardigan had been living in a dirt bunker in Mexico, just because he hadn’t heard of the acclaimed University of Stoatsburg?
Well, did you notice that I only hinted at how I would answer but didn’t specify how you should?
I can answer however I want, can’t I?
You surely don’t think I would have it any other way, do you?
Other than your username, just what is it that makes you so wonderful, dirtball?
Would you believe that now I’m the one with coffee all over his computer monitor?
Yes, could you list three things that make you so wonderful?
Hey, how did my level of wonderfulness get to be part of this anyway?
But if I must, did you know that when I watch Modern Family, I can sing along to the theme song without getting any of the words wrong? And did you know that I have a birthmark that not only looks like Bugs Bunny but sounds like him too? And did you know I’ve never been in Cliff Clavin’s kitchen?
Can you top that?
We’d have to ask a certain freshman New York Congressman if we had any chance of three more important claims to fame, wouldn’t we?
As much as it surprises me to find myself saying this, don’t you think he’s too far out of our league for us to even consider asking him anything?
Well, it’s not every former Pope, retired astronaut and winner of the Croix de Guerre who would deign to respond to an inquiry even from such notable Dopers as us, is it?
True, but do you think we might have a better chance if we were to appeal to him in his capacity as a Kentucky Derby winning jockey, former sumo wrestling champion, and Civil War veteran?
For that matter, how about as a Nobel-winning astrophysicist, noted gossip-column writer and part-time lumberjack?
What have I missed, why is George Santos the most amazing human being on the planet, and why is there coffee on my damned screen?
As to the first and second, haven’t you been following the national news? And as to the third, would it surprise you to learn that I have a theory but no proof?
Am I the only one who thinks a lot of coffee is getting wasted around here?
It is better to drink it than to spew it, isn’t it?
Would it be all right if I feel the need to stipulate that we are indeed still talking specifically about coffee before I agree?
Is there really any need?