What’s so great about stoats?
Isn’t it self-evident?
Can you name three wonderful things about stoats?
Well, if you don’t see that it’s self-evident, what could I possibly say to enlighten you?
Couldn’t we start by naming three wonderful things about those delightful creatures?
If you’re going to insist, how can I refuse?
- Did you know that some of them can play chess, provided you’re able to teach them?
- Did you know that they can detect malevolent paranormal activity in your house if you know how to interpret their warnings?
- Did you know they can troubleshoot common issues with Commodore 64 computers?
Did you just make those up on the spot?
Are you serious? How could I just make up such things???
Is anyone else’s computer screen covered in coffee?
If you have something to say, shouldn’t you just come right out and say it?
Is that always the best policy?
Isn’t that the policy stoats follow?
Wait, stoats have policy now?
Don’t you think they would have some equivalent of the concept, even if it seems unlikely they would use the word “policy” in Stoatese?
Well, it stands to reason, don’t it?
Wait wait wait…now you’re telling me there’s a language called 'Stoatese’? Where does one learn to speak Stoatese?
Haven’t you heard of the University of Stoatsburg?
Would it create the impression that I’ve been living in a dirt bunker in Mexico my whole life if I said no?
Since I don’t want to make our fine colleague Cardigan feel bad, can someone else answer his question?
About the dirt bunker thing, you mean?