Did you see that ludicrous display last night? What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
Am I supposed to know what you’re talking about there?
Does it have something to do with Quidditch, maybe? Or Parrises Squares?
You mean to say you haven’t seen The IT Crowd, where they act like they know what they’re talking about when they talk about sports, even though they don’t have the slightest clue?
Would you believe I’ve never seen the show?
Can I express a modest level of surprise at finding out that members of this very thread would have overlooked such an intellectually advanced and culturally significant show?
Who’s gonna stop ya?
Wouldn’t you think that if I don’t know who might stop me, it might be wise to ask?
Well, sure, that makes sense, doesn’t it?
After all, who wants the kind of awkward embarrassment that could result otherwise?
No one?
Would you believe that in fact, I would welcome awkward embarrassments?
Really? How come?
What other ways can I get some color in my face?
Are you saying that scrubbing it with sandpaper would be out of the question?
That’s a little harsh, innit?
Do you think a light buffing would be better than scrubbing?
It’d sure hurt less, wouldn’t it?
But would it produce sufficient color?
Well, how much do you need?