Questions Only

Um, neither, I think…?

Why are you all giving me weird stares like that?

Would I get a weird stare from people if I said I preferred “The English Patient” over,say, “Battlefield:Earth”?

Wait a minute, are you saying we’re in that universe where “Battlefield: Earth” won Best Documentary? Am I surrounded by Hubbardites?

Is that what they call scientologists in your universe?

That’s not what they’re called here?

Would it be OK if I didn’t call them anything at all?

Is it OK if you didn’t call them late for supper?

It depends; what’s for supper?

Do I smell BBQ’d Scientologist?

Who else has “Scientologists Roasting on an Open Fire” as an earworm right now?

And who’d rather roast a Scientologist than a chipmunk?

Hey, over here, can you see my hand raised?

Do you want passed to you a plate of roast leg of Scientologist?

Is that the best part?

Isn’t the worst part the brain, if any?

Is that even more than just a snack?

More like a morsel?

Should I get a brain transplant from a scientologist, since it’s never been used?

But if it’s never been used, how do you know it works?