Would that be a cold vodka martini, shaken not stirred?
Who stirs a martini?
What’s wrong with stirring a martini? Doesn’t shaking bruise the gin?
Don’t you make martinis with vodka?
Wait a minute, can we discuss this business of “bruising” alcohol?
Is there an actual “business” in “bruising alcohol”; are businessmen who bruise alcohol called “bruisers”?
Can you bruise Scotch?
Wouldn’t bruising Scotch be easier than bruising Scotsmen?
Can you bruise Diet Coke?
Isn’t that what happens when you drop Mentos into it?
I’m going to drink this gin and tonic…am I going to be all bruised up afterwards?
Doesn’t that depend on who you’re drinking gin and tonics with?
Is sharing a drink they call loneliness really better than drinking alone?
Why didn’t Billy Joel use internal rhymes in all those verses, like “They drink to excess and to loneliness but it’s better than drinking alone”?
Wait, that was a song?
Is John at the bar a friend of yours, and does he get you your drinks for free?
Why doesn’t John sing “If I could leave this bar then I could be a star. Why can’t I get out of this place?”?
Maybe John’s too drunk?
Would that be as a result of getting his drinks for free?
Does Davy (who’s still in the Navy) get his drinks for free too?