Would any person worth their salt attempt something that crazy?? 
Is this the non-sequitur thread?
I like turtles (do you, too?)
With a little bit of salt?
I’m out of salt…how about some tumeric turtle stew?
Only turtles on the half shell will do, don’t you agree?
Which one – Michaelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, or…umm…the one I’m always forgetting?
Oh yes, the ones that appeared in the da Vinci Code?
Um…de Chirico?
The cheery what?
The Cherry-Poppin’ Daddies did what?
Didn’t they sing about the universe being turtles all the way down?
Ever think about how the turtle at the bottom must have one hell of a sore back?
Isn’t ibuprofen manufactured from turtle shells?
Does that mean vegetarians need to stick with tylenol?
Would the cyanide-strength variety be best for them?
Why would anyone wish to exterminate all the turtles which Creation itself resides upon???
Wouldn’t you rather pray to Venus on the Half-Shell?
Wouldn’t I rather frolick with Venus in a half-nelson? 
Wouldn’t you rather climb the column to see Lord Nelson?