Did you know that cows are dyslexic Buddhists, since they stand around all day going “MOO”?
OOM? Are you confusing the Dali Lama with a Dyson?
You mean there’s a difference?
Is The Void The Vacuum?
Isn’t the principle “a vacuum avoids nature”?
Didn’t President Hoover invent the vacuum cleaner?
Didn’t President Ford invent the Edsel?
Didn’t President Bush…uh, never mind. ?
What is that you’re beating around?
Can’t you see this bird in my hand?
I don’t see it, but is that bird dookie on your pants?
Or are you just happy to see her?
You know, my first reply was going to be “What’s that white glob on your hand” but I went with what I thought was a safer one, but nooooo…you couldn’t leave it alone, could you? 
This white glob? Why, it’s mayonnaise from the BLT I just made – why do you ask?
Did you bring out the Hellmann’s and bring out the best?
Six hours and the best you can do is product placement?
Were you just waiting to pounce?
Who, innocent sweet little me who thinks you’re cat’s pajamas?
Can you see me blushing on the Internet?
Do you know how hard it was to get those red pajamas off the cat?