Don’t you think Stephen is King?
Isn’t he rather the po’ man’s Poe?
Has this become a Poe-puree of puns?
Is punning truly a tell-tale art?
Why don’t you Ask of the Red Death?
What did you Ask of Amontillado?
“Where’s the cask”?
Would you believe I asked him if he’d ever had to cut a piece of beefsteak in alphabetic form, y’know, a sirloined letter?
If it had been in Braille, would he have burned his fingers?
If it had, would he be Ravin’?
Should I be the first to make a Helen Keller joke now?
Are you some kind of miracle worker?
If a tree fell on top of Helen Keller in the forest, would she make a sound?
How would we know?
Why should we care?
Who are you, Comrade Question?
You papers, please?
Vhich papers do you vant?
Do you have the Sunday funnies?
I can’t think of a Yakov Smirnoff joke here; can you?