Am I the first Upprovincial to be guessing where this is going?
Um…Hell in a handbasket?
Is that also known as France?
Is Paris worth a mass?
Does Paris Hilton need a mass to herself?
Is Paris Hilton still relevant?
Have you seen the tape?
Who hasn’t seen the tape?
Do we really need to see it again?
And do those of us who’ve never seen it really need to?
Are you admitting that you haven’t?
Would you admit something like that?
Can’t we admit our true selves, such as our fears?
And loathing?
You think going to a psychiatrist will help?
Or maybe a half-crazed 300-pound Samoan lawyer?
Could we get a quarter-crazed 300 lb. Samoan psychiatrist?
Could we just call for McDonald’s quarter-pounders, and agree to a truce while we all ate them?
A truce? Were we at war?
Did you ask the fully insane 75-lb Samoan negotiator?