Ladies: what’s the attraction in a man’s shoulders? Some ladies apparently like a “nice” set-what does that mean?
When you’re wearing a low top, do you think ahead to times when someone might get an eyeful when you’re bending down?
Do ladies have anything like the same “rules” about what’s “unmanly” as guys? Crying, shopping, whatever else? I mean, what do they think when they see a guy doing those things? “It’s charming and diffirent” or “Weirdo”? And do you have “rules” about what’s “ladylike”?
I wish I could tell you what it is about a man’s shoulders that’s so damn attractive. My husband has wonderful broad shoulders and a trim waist. Perhaps it’s the ratio? His shoulders and hands, combined with his overall personality are just yummy. He’s one of the few men who makes me feel really feminine and at the same time not threatened. I know that sounds weird - it’s hard to explain.
As far as tops go, if I’m dressing to impress, it’s usually to impress my husband or to make myself feel good. I have large breasts and a trim waist, so anything I wear, short of a burlap bag, usually emphasizes them. So sometimes I’ll ask my husband if something is too low-cut. He’s generally a very good judge.
I have no “rules” about what’s manly or not in a guy. I don’t care if guys shop - I’m pretty picky about what I spend money on; I can’t imagine judging someone else for taking their time before buying something. Guys that just love to shop are a little odd, but so are women - I can’t stand shopping, especially clothes shopping, so I have trouble relating. And with crying - I don’t care if someone cries or not, as long as he doesn’t break down every other minute.
And with rules for women… I think I’m judgmental in a more equal-opportunity sense. In other words, I’ve been force-fed etiquette from birth, so I find it difficult not to be a little annoyed when I hear someone, anyone, talking so loud I can hear them several tables over. I also find it mildly off-putting when I see someone dressed really sloppily at places where you would normally put in a little effort, like a nice restaurant, a party, etc. And I think it’s gross when people talk with their mouths full of food or snarf it down like they haven’t eaten a meal in weeks. I couldn’t care less if they get their forks or glasses right, but a little effort to be neat, both socially and where dress and hygiene is concerned, goes a long way.
One thing that I don’t get that does apply to women is why they get so annoyed when a man attempts to do things for them. Yeah, I get it - they can do it themselves. But is it really so insulting for someone to hold a door open for you? It’s a bit awkward when a guy pulls out your chair, but it seems to rare for people to be polite to each other that I’m willing to take what I can get.
I don’t know if anybody is reading the whole thing, but HeyHomie made a comment on page 3 about males going through puberty.
I completely agree with him. Something, however uncomfortable, has to be said. I had no dependable father-figure when I entered my teens and when I first started getting erections I had no idea what was happening to me.
After months, out of sheer desperation that something was really wrong, I went and asked my mom, not really even able to use the right words because I had no vocabulary to cover it. I just was worried and said it would sometimes “get big.”
She totally burst out laughing. I flew back to my room in terrified mortification. It hurt me like hell.
I’ve honestly come to believe this to be a myth, or maybe some anti-feminist propaganda or something. I’ve held doors, helped with luggage & baby carriages in stairs etc… my whole life, and I’ve never been chewed out or gotten a Stare of Doom for it - in fact, most people seem pleasantly surprised, or simply nonplussed. Of course, I do it for both sexes, but the wimmin have no way to know that.
The only time an Event happened was when once I stood up to allow a tired-looking girl to sit down in the subway. She declined, and made a show of sitting on the floor. So I shrugged, folded the seat, sat on the floor too, and smiled at how silly the whole situation was. She smiled back. I went back to my music. Thus ended the Event.
There is absolutely no correlation between pedophilia and a normal adult male preference for shaved pubes. Can’t speak for all men, of course, but why can’t I just prefer the area to be hairless? I spend a lot of time with my mouth down there, so frankly it’s unpleasant to keep getting pubes stuck in my throat, or for the area to be stubbly like I’m making out with a guy with a 5 o’clock shadow. I think it looks nice, like the woman enjoys being soft and smooth. I think it feels nice.
:rolleyes:
A landing strip would be fine. Pick you at 7.
My wife and I just bought the Philips Norelco Bodygroom thingy, and we love it. She prefers my beanbag to be hairless and the manbush clipped to about 1/4", and she agrees with my preference for little to no girlbush, so we each enjoy our weekly Saturday afteroon trimming sessions. Separately, of course. Someone has to keep the kids from barging into the bathroom.
I have absolutely no problem with men doing things for me, as long as they allow me to reciprocate.
For instance, some guy and I arrive at the entrance to a building, and he opens the door for me. Great! Thanks muchly. But if there’s a second set of doors, then it only makes sense that, since I’m now ahead of him, I should hold the next door for him. Most guys graciously thank me and proceed through like a normal person, but quite a few will say, “No, no! I insist!” and stand back and wait for me to go through. I think these guys are a little silly, but they’re entitled, and I’ll still thank them politely.
Then there are the ones who try to grab the door from me and hold it. Not only is it completely pointless, since they’re obviously not saving me any trouble, it’s also physically awkward: they end up blocking me in, or squeezing in between me and the door, or they try to reach over my head, which is tricky for many guys, as I’m on the tall side. I do get a little annoyed with them, because we spend more time negotiating the door-hand-off maneuver than it would have taken both of us to get through the door and be on our merry way.
More generally speaking, though, it’s not that I’m annoyed by being helped, unless it’s the unhelpful kind of “help” as in the above example. Rather, I’m annoyed by the attitude a few guys still have that it’s okay for me to accept a man’s help, but it somehow demeans him to accept mine.
A broad but not bulky pair of shoulders has always made me … my jaw doesn’t drop, exactly, but it does go a little bit slack. If I had to try to pin some rational explanation for it other than hormones, I guess I would hazard a guess that it’s because I can imagine running my hands over them if the guy were to be on top of me. A man’s shoulders are a large part of a woman’s visual and tactile fields in the standard missionary position.
I just thought of something. I do find shoulders to be a big component of whether or not a man is attractive to me, and I like the guy to be on top. I wonder if women who are more interested in what a guy’s chest/pecs look like prefer to be on top?
OK, I guess I got me a question for my own gender, then.
Some do, some don’t. It’s what makes the difference between an unexpectedly sexy moment, and a skanky ho.
I think a lot of women just :rolleyes: at the “manly rules” and some of them probably want a shopping companion, or someone who cries at a trauma instead of going stone-cold and distant.
Dunno about “girly rules” although I will say that for the most part, all else being equal, brassy and not-traditionally-feminine women have a certain something about them that makes them fun to hang out with or be around.
*My question for ladies - When you look at men (if you do. Do you?) is it in a sexual way or more like an appraisal. What I mean is, when I look at a beautiful woman it is kind of like how I would look at food - I can have a physical reaction (and not how you at thinking ) whether I want to or not. Sometimes I just want to touch, the way I always want to touch a tulip when ever I see one. Clearly I can’t explain myself well but I’m really not a perv. Is it like that for women?
*
Not for me, but if my discussions about this with female friends are any indication, I’m an exception. When I see an attractive man–and to be honest, I’m not that attracted to most men until I get to know them–I don’t think, ooooh, wonder what sex with him would be like? I can appreciate male beauty in an aesthetic way, but almost never get physically excited by the way a man looks. I say “almost never” because on rare occasion–maybe once every three or four years–a man will smile at me with a twinkle in his eye and my heart leaps.
When I go on a date with a man and am sitting close to him and talking to him and realize we have things in common and “connect,” then I often begin to consider whether we will have a sexual liaison. For me it takes more than just physical attractiveness to get to that point.
One for the ladies: the vast range in erotic sensitivities in women never ceases to amaze me. Making love to a woman is an individual experience–it can never be done beautifully to two women in the same way. Every woman is different in what she’ll respond to–sometimes drastically so. Is it the same with men, or are they all the same?
That’s interesting. A male friend–well, more than a friend–and I were discussing this recently. I told him I couldn’t understand his desire to keep having sex with other women (which is why we broke up), since one can’t be that different from the other. He says we ARE different.
But for me–most men are the same. They want the same thing in the same way and do the same things to me in the same way. Some of the details or nuances may be different, but I find it’s pretty much the same, and often penis-centric, no matter who I’m with.
I wonder if I’ve just been with mostly uncreative guys, or if the gap between what they’re experiencing as making huge changes in lovemaking styles between partners, and our perception of “some nuances might be different, but largely the same, and mostly penis-centric” is more due to what, generally, each gender is tuned into during the act. Sort of like how people of different racial backgrounds see different “differences” between faces?
It’s not just you: many women have told me the majority of their partners simply mount, pump & squirt.
There’s a ven diagram: one set is guys who can persuade a woman to go to bed, the other is guys who want to do what’s best once there. The diagram looks like two beach balls on either side of an airplane hangar.
(identical ven orientation to the diagram of the set of hot, desirable women and the set of women who do more than just lie there and think that, in and of itself, is more than the guy deserves. Which is why we needn’t be overly envious of hot, alpha-mated couples)
Just to throw in a few more data points:
I carry more stuff in my pockets than most women do in their purses. Honestly, I’m not sure which sex has it better off: Men, with pockets in most of our clothes, or women, for whom purses are socially-acceptable. If I carried a purse, I’d keep even more miscellaneous junk and occasionally-useful tools on me.
I can’t imagine masturbating in a public restroom, nor have I ever been aware of anyone else doing so. Masturbation is for at home, relaxing at the end of the day, and I can’t really relax like that anywhere in public, much less a public restroom. If I get an erection at a time when I can’t masturbate, then I just wait a few minutes, and it goes away on its own, and I can’t really comprehend the mindset some guys seem to have that every erection must lead to an ejaculation.
I have no objection to body hair anywhere on a woman, but have an aesthetic preference for it to be trimmed in some way. Nor do I have an objection to lack of same, but don’t feel like you need to shave on my account. If I were with a woman who had a particular preference for my facial or body hair, I’d try to comply with it, and wouldn’t think it a very big deal.
Like Gorgon Heap, I didn’t have any real father figure available when I was going through puberty, but Mom had procured pamphlets of “What’s going on with my body?”, or whatever they’re called. With my reading habits, just having them in the house was a guarantee that I’d find them by the time I needed them. Single mothers (or fathers, for that matter), if you’re uncomfortable with “The Talk”, such booklets might make things easier, though I’m not sure where one gets them.
My family and my boyfriend know when I’m about to get my period because I PMS like nobody’s business. I get moody, weepy, ragey… and a dozen other dwarves who never made it into the disney movie.
I have a somewhat of a general question… why are all the guys in heterosexual porn fugly?
Gay porn has really nice looking guys. Non-gay porn, they seem to go out of the way to make them ugly looking. Most of it is generally unimaginative, anyway, but it is something that I wonder.
I like looking at good looking girls. Do men dislike looking at good-looking men? I don’t consider myself bi or gay.
My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn at all, so he’s no help.
