[quote=“Really_Not_All_That_Bright, post:394, topic:510945”]
Your students are stupid. I’ve had a dozen female friends in my life to whom I felt no physical attraction, some of whom were objectively quite good-looking.
[QUOTE]
Stupid because they have their own views on things? Actually, I think you’re the imbecile here, not them…
No kidding. I’ve never asked who is playing when it say “Red Sox” under one score and “Yankees” under the other. But how often does something like that happen? Usually it says something like ANA and FLA. Sure occasionally I can try to think it through like “Okay, FL must be Florida. What teams does Florida have? Is it the Marlins? Wait, Marlins doesn’t start with an A, so it can’t be them. Shit, I have no idea…”
Where the heck did they come up with three letter codes for state names?
Allow me to clarify, and point out the fact that this is entirely in regard to females to which I’m sexually attracted. Girls to whom I feel no attraction are fine, because there is not sexual rejection to follow. Guys likewise. If I do find the girl attractive, I keep my distance until I know that she feels likewise or until I’ve lost interest in her. If I can’t lose interest, I distance myself.
I suggest you stop taking things personally.
Nobody said you did. All of the deluding and trickery in a “friend-zone”-relationship is done on the part of the male, and it’s up to him to resolve. If a guy has feelings for you that he knows you won’t reciprocate, respect his right to get himself out.
Would you like your strawman back, by the way?
I liked the bow tie, it was a nice touch.
I agree with you entirely. I know most of the girls I sleep with quite well, and I’m very close to a couple of them. But once again, we’re not discussing friendship here.
Depends on the state of mind. Currently, having enough stimuli to keep myself emotionally satisfied, I’m in agreement with you. If it’s not good, it’s better to go without. I have on the other hand had dry spells (in the sense of a couple of years), where the sexual frustration nearly drove me to depression. It was a sense of biological uselessness and a viscous cycle (the longer I went without, the more depressed I got. The more depressed I got, the less attractive I became). In that state of mind I can respect his point of view.
So am I. 
Kind of what prompted the question. I’m curious about the gender division in certain fields, and what prompts them (besides a lot of this).
The world being what it is (most girls needing more stimuli than guys, most girls being able to go on after an orgasm while most guys fall asleep), this unerringly becomes an aspect of sex.
But no, I enjoy it. As long as I get a good response, going down on a girl is fun. On the other hand, if she wants to earn her breakfast, I’ll be expecting some of that back before morning.
Nah. I wouldn’t care if she hasn’t cleaned her apartment for a couple of days either. As long as she’s not a habitual slob.
No, they’re stupid because they assume something to be true that isn’t.
Under most circumstances, I actually enjoy those acts more. My biggest turn-on during sex is my partner’s reaction to whatever I’m doing, and it’s easier to enjoy that when I’m not making an O-face myself.
I think it’s a control thing, in part.
Well, there was that, too, but I was trying to refrain from writing a novel. Here’s the novellette:
I had been in advanced math classes since birth, basically, which in my school district consisted of taking the class for the next grade level. So, in my sophmore year, I was taking the junior-year math class. What I had always found interesting in math was learning how and why a formula was developed (what problem it solved), and how and why it worked. The teacher, however, was of the “Just memorize it” school of thought. I was perfectly capable of memorizing, for instance, the quadratic formula, but what I wanted to know was, what would I be doing (besides my homework) that I’d stumble across a quadratic equation and need to solve it? And further, how did anyone figure out that formula? Presumably, someone didn’t just glance at ax2 + bx + c and think, “Oh, I see! If I just divide negative b plus or minus (because either will do) the square root of…” But when I tried to ask him these things, he couldn’t give me a satisfactory answer, so I’d try to ask another way, and we wound up in a very frustrating back-and-forth, culminating in him saying, “Look, don’t get upset; girls sometimes have trouble with math.”
Obviously, that was crap; I was one of the few advanced students in the class, and I was getting an A. But I also knew that I’d have to have that teacher again if I took more math, and if it was going to be all memorization and no theory, with a sexism garnish, then I’d rather be taking art. And it didn’t help that my parents didn’t push me to continue; I don’t think it ever occured to them that I might want to be something other than a secretary or teacher, since I’d only be working until I got married, anyway. :rolleyes:
So I went to college intending to study, oh, literature maybe? or French?, and wound up geeking out in linguistics (which I’m happy to report has been very useful in programming). I later began working at a nonprofit organization with a huge donor database and some complex and rather tempermental custom DBMS software, and it was love. I kept moving in a tech-ier direction through the next couple of jobs, but realized I really needed to go back to school to do what I wanted to do, so I did, and here I am.
Maybe a little frustrating, but in a good way. Builds up to a bigger, more satisfying release. Besides, there’s no reason it *has *to be one-sided. I love tending to my own needs while going down on my husband, and it’s totally hot when he does the same.
Good info. I’ve heard of Kegels, as a deliberate exercise, but I have never heard of it as a spontaneous reaction to initial arousal, nor did the possibility occur to me.
So, now, JR, at some point you realized that you were doing it. Do you now intensify it deliberately when you want to become even more aroused?
I have been pondering starting a whole new thread on this subject, since every woman is different in the particulars. I’m a bit disappointed that I haven’t seen more than one* response (hmmmm…) and I look forward to getting a whole slew of responses, because I would like to know which answers are more typical and which are somewhat rare or even idiosyncratic.
They derived the formula in my 9th grade algebra I class (which had a lot of girls in it). You do it by Completing the Square. as for why you’d need it, it shows up, for instance, in solving differential equations for oscillating systems (which are ubiquitous in physics, dynamics, and electronics) and especially damped driven harmonic oscillators. Or you use it when finding the maxima or minima of a cubic curve (or one you can approximate by a cubic) – that’s one I have used in my professional work.
I’ve been married for 24 years, and attached for 27. I have no idea what you should say. Seems to me a simple, “Hi, this is Dogzilla. We met at that party the other day. Would you like to [insert favorite first date activity] with me on X?” ought to do just fine.
I said “over the top” because you apologized for emasculating him. I might feel emasculated if I was at a part, and some guy kicked my ass, pulled my pants down, and spanked me. Nothing short of that.
I disagree with this. Boys learn to be men the same way kids learn anything, by imitation. And no, I don’t mean a “Real Man”. While I certainly don’t sit around beating bongo drums in the woods, the guy who wrote “Iron John” had a point. What it means to be a man, or a woman, has both cultural and cross cultural aspects. Those who easily fit into those roles, learned it somehow, and while there are always exceptions, imitation is the usual manner.
Now, whether fitting into culturally normed roles is a good or bad thing, would be a whole 'nother thread. I predict, this board being what it is, the consensus would a resounding “No”.
For maximum effect, X = fuckin’.
By “I disagree with this” I assume you mean you disagree with my self-assessment that I didn’t take much of this stuff seriously?
If so: it DOES work on a “meta” level! What I learned about “being a man” I learned in large part from my Dad, and what I learned from my Dad was that the question itself is a damned silly one and not anything to be concerned about. So other things were emphasized instead: being a responsible person, being a thinking person, …also a few less fortunate things I internalized but not so much "oh, I see from how my Dad behaves that it is important to ‘BE A MAN’ "
Or is that NOT what you meant ?
Women: would you date a man who was shorter than you? Great personality, warm, sweet, polite, caring…but he’s a shrimp. Do you not care or do you have height standards?
Men: how about a woman taller than you?
Did it once, and never had a problem with it.
No. Not because I’d feel weird about or anything, just because I like to be able to pick up my women without risking a hernia. Generally, my upper limit is about 5’7"; I’m 6’.
Have done, often. And I’m as tall as my husband. I’m just shy of 5’10", so it’s bound to happen. The only time it was an issue was when one guy, who was a good two inches shorter than me, mentioned in conversation that he was taller than me (or maybe as tall, I can’t remember). I said, “Actually, I think I’m a bit taller,” and he got kind of mad and insisted I wasn’t, even as we were standing there, looking at each other. Then he stood back to back with me and asked our friends to judge. They were all like, “You’re nuts, dude, she’s clearly taller.” I certainly didn’t care, and I don’t think he did either, really. I think he had just always thought of me as shorter, and was was a little taken aback to realize he had been wrong.
And that reminds me, I had another friend in college who had a hard time imagining that any woman weighed more than 120 lbs, because that was what he weighed. He knew it was true, of course; it just seemed odd to him.
Which leads to my question:
Men, when you find out how much a woman actually weighs, are you generally surprised? If so, does the real number seem high, or low, and what made you think otherwise? For instance, bearing in mind that I’m about 5’10", how much would you guess I weigh in this picture?
It was a couple of years ago, so I don’t know exactly, but it was somewhere between 145 and 155 lbs.
I find that guys are usually surprised at how much I weigh, but I don’t know if it’s because women’s bodies carry weight so differently from men’s, or if they just can’t imagine women in general weighing very much, or what. So what is it?
I guessed 145 lbs from the pic.
cute, btw
I’m 6’ even, have rarely dated women taller than me (but would). At 190 lbs have occasionally dated women heavier than me. Don’t think I have any issues with either.
As someone who has a reputation for liking slender thin women, my friends are usually surprised when I date tall women. But speaking only for myself, it’s all about a slim feminine figure. You can be 6’ and still look feminine and dainty, or you can be 5’5" and have big broad football player shoulders. Height isn’t a big deal for me.
I’m 5’8" and have always been self-conscious about that. Nowadays it isn’t all that tall, but when I was growing up and up until around 9th grade, I was always the tallest person in my class. I felt HUGE. Because of that, I would prefer not to date someone shorter than me. Some of that residual huge feeling is still there, so I like being the shorter one in the relationship; I don’t want to feel huge again.
I think I had pretty good male role models, but I never had any kind of talks about “what it means to be a man” or anything of that kind. I’m okay with that and I don’t think it hurt me. I’ve never put a lot of stock in generalizations about men and women.
