So did I - until it happened to me. As of that moment, I converted to Horrifically Painfully Real. It’s not unlike being kicked in the nuts, and needs much the same response to treat it - curl up in the fetal position. I’ve only had it happen twice, both after prolonged, er, excitement without orgasm, but it was painful and quite debilitating. I’d rather it didn’t happen again, if that’s okay with the universe at large.
Seems like it be easy to treat yourself.
Blue Balls- absolutely not a myth. I’ve had the misfortune to experience them many times, as in the situation where I become aroused due to a sexual interest (as opposed to arousal as a result of the position of my penis in my pants, or morning wood, or something) and can’t do anything about it for several hours, either with someone or alone. By the way- they don’t actually *turn *blue. It’s just a shorthand to describe a feeling of the balls being ready to propel their juicy goodness, but the necessary stimuli isn’t forthcoming, so they sort of sulk like a petulant child all hopped up on chocolate cake and then sent to sit in the ‘time out’ chair. It’s kind of a dull ache that can be relieved with the proper attention, but you can’t give it the attention it requires, so it’s a little frustrating.
Junk in the toilet- With round toilets, my dick will touch the front if I don’t consciously hold it out of the way. Not so with the elongated bowls. As far as dipping into the water, it depends on the height of the water, but occasionally the tip of my dick will dip below the water surface. It’s somewhat surprising when it happens. Never the balls, though.
In a recent thread about this sort of thing, one poster claimed that her husband, I think, routinely has to lay his junk atop the seat to avoid dunkage.
Question(s) for the men:
Did you have good male role models growing up? Do you think that what it means to “be masculine” or “be a man” is clear for boys now?
OK, ladies:
1- How is it that you cannot tell when you are in the way in the supermarket? You have your cart in the left part of the aisle while you study the items on the right. Are you unaware that others are going to want to get through?
2- When you walk in on men watching a sporting event, why do you ask who is playing? Read the score on the screen! Similarly, it is nearly universal convention that the home team is either listed below or to the right of the visitor. You don’t have to ask where is it being played. We can tell instantly, by the on screen graphic plus the colors of the uniforms plus knowledge we have about the various stadiums.
3- Do you have any idea that you’re being bitchy while you’re being bitchy?
So here’s what you said:
This translates pretty clearly into “I don’t want to have close female friends unless I can have sex with them.” How many friends you already have isn’t the issue, unless maybe you also reject all potential male friends. Would you also say “when a guy starts getting too familiar with me emotionally without being ready to back that up physically [by helping me move my furniture and repaint the house] I politely but firmly draw the line”?
Because your post totally pissed me off, especially this part:
I don’t owe anybody sex, I am not “withholding” sex when I choose not to fuck someone I’m not attracted to, and if you can’t be friends with a woman without expecting her to have sex with you I don’t want you as a “friend” anyway.
Incidentally, regarding the further discussion of friendship -> sex, if I don’t want to be friends with someone, I certainly don’t want to have sex with them either. In some other thread some guy said that sex with an ugly woman that he didn’t like would always be better than masturbating, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. If I don’t like someone, being physically intimate with them is icky in a viscerally disturbing way that totally overrides any sexual stimulus.
If a woman is asking you who is playing or where the game is being held then she obviously does not possess your extensive body of knowledge about screen graphic conventions, team colors, and the design of various stadiums around the country.
I’m sorry, the quote button isn’t working right and I’m screwing up trying to hand-code, so I’m doing this the primitive way …
**BobLibDem **asked:
**2- **When you walk in on men watching a sporting event, why do you ask who is playing? Read the score on the screen! Similarly, it is nearly universal convention that the home team is either listed below or to the right of the visitor. You don’t have to ask where is it being played. We can tell instantly, by the on screen graphic plus the colors of the uniforms plus knowledge we have about the various stadiums.
Because most of the time, the score on the screen involves a cryptic code. They don’t spell out team+city, they just have two or three seemingly random letters.
If we knew instantly and magically, like you, we wouldn’t ask, now would we?
Also, I didn’t know the home/visitor placement convention, and I can honestly say that while I’m sure that’s common knowlege to sports fans, some of us don’t know all that stuff.
I don’t know off the top of my head most team colors, either, and no one was born with “knowlege … about the various stadiums.” It has to be learned.
Look, they may sound like dumb questions to you but they’re honest questions to the person who doesn’t know. Answer patiently, teach her about your favorite hobby, and you might get a sexy little companion to sit next to you on the couch. Huff and puff about her not knowing everything already? Not so cool.
**BobLibDem **asked:
**3- **Do you have any idea that you’re being bitchy while you’re being bitchy?
Sometimes. Sometimes we don’t realize till reflection much later.
Sometimes, though, you can hear yourself get bitchy but can’t get back off the train. It’s almost an out-of-body experience, as you tell yourself, “Shut up! Be cool, man!” but you can’t stop the words flooding out of your mouth.
I don’t suppose my wife would take kindly to that. I didn’t think the graphics were terribly cryptic, SF and DET are pretty unique. Though I do imagine that it might not be obvious to everyone that CHC is Chicago Cubs and CHW is Chicago White Sox.
Though I’ve heard the term plenty, I think I just realized how weird the expression ‘withholding sex’ is and how much it says about our screwed up issues with consent and ownership.
Like Lamia, I fear hijacking this thread further, but I’ve definitely had guy friends who probably would have slept with me if I’d initiated. They managed to not make it creepy, though, by maintaining healthy reciprocal relationships with other women, flirting openly with the whole lot of us, never going past a certain point (since it was clear I was not up for it) and being funny and self-effacing. They seem to actually care about my opinions and friendship as much as those of their male friends.
I’m a programmer. It’s pretty heavily male, although less so in my workplace than others I’ve seen. This is a second career for me, and I chose it because (to make a very long story short) I realized that what I enjoyed most about my previous career was making the software do what I wanted it to do.
I didn’t choose it initially because (again, to make a very long story short) I got lazy in high school and didn’t take any more than the minimum math requirements. It wasn’t too hard; it was just boring. Only later did I realize that my teachers weren’t lying: there *were *lots of other, more fun things I couldn’t do without math.
There’s also the fact that the team names are usually displayed as a three- or four-letter abbreviation, which could be the team’s city, state, or college. College games can be particularly tricky, because there are always a few schools that are well-known only in that sport, and if you’re not a fan, you’ve never heard of them.
ETA: Right - what everyone else said. But colleges even more so!
Also, at intervals during any televised game, they start showing the scores of other games. If you wander in during one of those crawls, it’s really not readily apparent who the hell is playing if you can’t piece it out from the uniforms. Hell, sometimes during the time-outs they start showing footage of other games, so it can be a tossup whether the game currently on the screen (which may or may not have its actual current score shown) is actually the game that’s being watched.
Frankly, it’s easier to just pretend the whole thing just doesn’t exist.
Ancient history =)
Back when I was 15 I was told by my father he had arranged a job for me, working as the admin assistant for the secretary of the president of his company[dad was a vice president] starting monday after school. I worked at the job until Christmas vacation - about 2 months. I noticed that my brother was making a dollar an hour more than I was and I complained. I got told it was because he was out in the physical plant. I bitched more, and my dad put me in the safest place he could figure out, the machine shop. Being the shop mascot, they started teaching me how to actually work instead of just sweep up the shavings. [awww isnt she cute, look … shes sandblasting a valve body … :rolleyes:] I started taking voc ed classes in machine tech, and spent some very profitable years as a machinist. I ended up managing most of the shops for the plants around the country. My fiance and I moved away so I had to leave teh company, but that was OK, I was having issues with chemical exposure, as I was also working as a haz mat tech as a secondary part of my job. I also did some work for Henze-Movats and Furmanite in the nuke field, but then the industry sort of changed from subcontracting to a different format, and I was getting more handicapped from a physical issue getting worse.
It is a seriously male dominated field. I used to get the best passive aggressive jollies by pissing off salesmen - anybody who came in and said something along the lines of ‘wheres the boss honey’ got informed that their company was now off the vendor list, and that if they wanted to try and sell me something they needed to find someone who would treat me with respect as I would not deal with that rep. They put notations in the files to not do that after a while <evil smiley>
Ah. Good explanation. Here’s some more information – I think you’re on to something.
The guy who offered to help me up is a known cougar-hunter and player. He’s about 15 years younger than I and has already worked his way through our group of friends. I would be the third woman he’s made googly eyes at, in my presence. (And I resent being the third choice, thankyouverymuch.)
So he probably felt rejected because I made it clear that I wasn’t really interested in hooking up with him. The other guy snickered because he had just invited to me to his beach house – I was, er, am way more interested in *him *(being only four years younger and not predatory in any way) because he didn’t talk to me just because he just wanted to snag the only single cougar at the party and get laid, he was talking to me because, well, he wanted to talk to me. I think he snickered because right then, I made it clear which of the two I was more interested in.
The snickerer gave me his card, btw. 
(Which I still haven’t done anything about because I have no idea what to say! “So… when do I get to see that beach house of yours?” :smack: Guys! Help! What do I do? More importantly, what’s my best opening line? I could call him or email him.)
I want to make it clear that I tried really hard not to react in an over the top way – kept my voice low and modulated, smiled politely, did not recoil in horror or make a big stinkin’ scene. Can you tell me what impression you had that led you to use those words “over the top”? I was going for anything but that.
I had a good father, all things considered, and most of what I picked up on was that it was important to be a good PERSON and that it had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with your reproductive equipment.
Notions about "you really need to be THIS WAY or GOOD AT THIS if you happen to be male in order to be a Real Man were all someone else’s notions and seemed as silly and peculiar as notions about bad things happening to you if you walked under ladders. I don’t think I took any of it seriously.
I am an editor. It is very much female dominated, being the kind of thing that English majors go into. I’d guess it might be something like 60-40 women to men or maybe even 75/25. I chose it because I am very, very good with language. And because I didn’t learn until I’d already graduated from Journalism school that I’d been testing off the map in science since I was a little kid. I was going through a box of papers and found a collection of old standarized test scores. While my language skills were always in the 95th percentile or so, nobody had ever noticed nor pointed out to me that my science scores were always in the 100+ percentile range.
Had I known that little tidbit before going off to college and choosing a major, I’d probably be a veterinarian right now. (Which is also female dominated anymore.)
This question is for guys, but my own gender can answer as well:
Do you enjoy sex acts in which the pleasure is pretty much one-sided (i.e. fingering or going down on a girl, or fellatio/hand jobs (for girls))? Isn’t it frustrating being aroused while performing the act, and having to wait until the other person is through before tending to your own needs?
Also, let’s say you’re getting down with a girl for the first time. Once clothes start coming off, you see that she has hairy legs/pits (maybe she forgot to shave for a couple of days). Is that a huge turn-off, or do you just kind of say “eh, who cares, I’m about to get some”?
I don’t really care whether the other participant gets me off or not - I can do it on my own should it be needed. I can wait. However, I’m very frustrated when I come, and she doesn’t for some reason. Gimme a minute to come down, and I’m on it.
As for the second question, well, I already answered that one earlier : don’t give a fuck, unless it’s the Amazonian Rainforest and there’re unknown civilizations living down there.
Whoops, hit “submit” too soon.
go for it =) Just like that …
Although, I once turned a sort of joke into a date at a nice place to eat … I had been gaming with a bunch of guys at the house of one of them, and one guy said that he never had people over because he never had anything to make for food … so I bet him a dinner I couldnt make a decent meal out of the stuff in his house. He had just barely enough stuff to make an omelet, though the fancy bit was canned tiny salad shrimp [i pretty much detest canned seafood other than tuna] a sad looking onion that hadnt gone funky, and enough bread for toast, he had instant coffee and coffee whitener that served for after dinner with a nice brandy I found shoved in the back of a cupboard he had forgotten he had been given for christmas.
I got the original make dinner date, and then a much nicer date at a small french place a couple days later.