Nailed me right there. Good one.
What’s my chemical quixotic78?
::Superdude grabs the ticket-giver thingy, glances at his number (12841), and at the “now serving” sign, which reads “42,” and sighs. He moves to the back of the line, hoping that his chemical has nothing to do with Spam[sup]®[/sup], his one true weakness::
Having already gotten my chemical, I have to say this:
Quix, you’re the coolest! This thread rocks. I love sitting here reading you spout off all sorts of chemical mumbo jumbo, and making it sound like sense to me. It also makes it way funner if you read your posts as if you sounded like Professor Frink. Glavin.
Iridium, eh? Well, why not.
Wait, are you calling me dense?
Iridium… Very hard, brittle, very resistant to corrosion, dense… Dosn’t react to anything…
Damn. You’re good. 
I’ll be your huckleberry
I want one I want one! I feed you and touched you in intimate places! Don’t forget that!
What chemical am I quixotic? I’d surely like to know.
I see I’d be something like #12850, so I’ll just interject that this is a great, great thread. That’s quite a talent you have there, Quix. I’m hugely impressed!
Thanks to Munch for the idea of sounding like Professor Frink. That’s goddamned funny! You’ll have to add the glavens and the froinlavens and the HURT MEs yourself, though.
hardygrrl, I won’t explicitly say what embarrassing event happened to you at work recently, in case anyone doesn’t know and you don’t want them to know, but because of it, you’re going to get the sexiest element I know. (Stop laughing). Something seductive, erotic, and tantalizing (no, seriously, stop laughing). You, hardygrrl, are Tantalum. Apparently, unlike most metals, which are poisonous, the body tolerates Tantalum very well–how YOU doin?
Qwisp, Q-names rule! In honor of your awesome moniker, you shall be Quicksilver. It’s on the periodic table as mercury, but you have to call it quicksilver, because that sounds cooler.
Tengu, I can’t decide whether to give you element 10, or if I should give you something gooey. Fortunately, it’s up to the Chemistry Gods, not me, and they decree that you are Neon, Element 10 and one of the coolest looking elements, as everyone knows. I hope you’re not a loser, because I’m giving you the goods! 
Rysdad, I’ve been looking for an excuse to assign rubidium, because it sounds like something a superhero would use. Kind of like adamantium for Wolverine. I don’t suppose I’m going to get anyone signing up for this thread with the login Boobidium, so you’re gonna get the honor of being Rubidium. Fight crime, Mr. Super Hero! [sub]Not to give your secret away, but avoid water like Superman avoids kryptonite. It kind of makes you explode violently. I know, a terrible weakness for a superhero.[/sub]
Lost in Reality, yes… yes, you are a difficult one to analyze. However, the answer is clearly brimstone (sulfur, but just like with quicksilver, brimstone sounds much cooler). You see, brimstone is itself tough to analyze, because it can exist as small rings, as large rings, as long chains… truly a tricky one. That’s you.
chique, baby, you are very precious, and you’ve always made me think of red for some reason. I don’t question these things, I just deal with them. So, you, my dear, are ruby, Al[sub]2[/sub]O[sub]3[/sub] with some of the Aluminium replaced with Chromium. Love ya 
Otto, don’t worry, I’m the Patron Saint of Keeping Pens from Running out of Ink. Top THAT! Otto, with your fine Germanic name, I can think of nothing more appropriate than Germanium. Now go make yourself useful. I dunno, go play in a semiconductor or something.
ryoushi, you’re from the Land Down Under, right? In honor of that, I’m going to give you an element located in the “Down Under” of the Periodic Table. So, you shall be a lanthanide or an actinide. Which one… which one… a-ha! You, my Aussie friend, are Americium And you don’t have to do any alchemy to change. Just wait a while, and you’ll radioactively decay into something else. [sub]Ok, you’d have to wait a few thousand years, but that’s not bad, right? At least you’ll be around for a while![/sub]
xanadu, I remember Coleridge saying that in, um, you Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome did decree. And, of course, everyone knows that Coleridge was doped up on opium when he penned this. So you can be morphine, the chemical in opium, C[sub]17[/sub]H[sub]19[/sub]NO[sub]3[/sub].
lel, an inert gas? Ha! Hardly. You are fluorine gas. You’ll react with ANYTHING! (except maybe nickel, and that’s only because you form a protective coating on the nickel, and don’t actually corrode it). [sub]Note: You are fluorine because you have a subconscious desire to party. So, I’m going to put on my nickel suit and invite you over to my house. C’mon, it’ll be fun![/sub]
Ice Wolf, it’d be too easy to give you ice. I tell you what I’ll do. Sometimes, if you put a foreign chemical in water, it gets surrounded by an arrangement of water molecules. They tend not to be very stable. But, deep in the Earth, they think that the high pressure causes some of these water cages, called “clathrate hydrates,” to be stable. So, you can be CH[sub]4[/sub] * (H[sub]2[/sub]O)[sub]7.25[/sub], which may be an important source of natural gas in the future. You can see a picture of yourself here on the left.
deepbluesea, hmm, deep blue and C… that’s gotta be some sort of a cobalt compound. I know from experience that [CoCl[sub]4[/sub]][sup]2-[/sup] is a brilliant blue, and it stains! So if you get that t-shirt made, careful not to stain it…
Rachelle, I had a student in my lab last year named Rachelle. She had the HARDEST time getting a precipitate of Aluminium Hydroxide like she was supposed to. When she finally got it, she yelled out, “Aluminium hydroxide, you is my bitch!” I couldn’t possibly improve upon that. I hope you don’t mind sharing with another Rachelle.
Superdude, I think Spam baffles even the greatest minds in chemistry. I mean, mechanically separated chicken? What the hell is that? [sub]Nevermind, I don’t want to know[/sub]. Now that you’ve made me think of Spam and gotten me all queasy, it’s my turn for revenge. You are Barium sulfate. When suspended in water and swallowed, it allows a doctor to shine X-rays through you and watch your stomach. That’s pretty cool, but from all accounts I’ve heard, it’s one of the nastiest things you can drink. It’s all thick and it coats your throat for hours and… blech. THAT’LL learn ya to mention Spam!
dpr, following the logic I used with your Aussie cohort ryoushi, you get an element from either the Lanthanide or the Actinide series. Hey hey, what’s this? Pr is the chemical symbol for praseodymium. Perfect! [sub]Well, ok, perfect would be if there were a praseoNYMium, but I didn’t invent the damn periodic table.[/sub]
Mamahen, you’re such a mother! But damn are you mean to me Combining those two, I’ll give you sulfuric acid, which is the most heavily produced chemical in the world–kind of the Mother of All Chemicals.
That’s enough for now. Thanks for posting!
Quix
As always the biochemist is late for the chemical party.
But I’d still like my own chemical… (I promise not to feed it to my bacteria.)
-Pandora
What am I?
Wow! I’m a substance produced by a mold which inhibits the growth of bacteria.
I tried to post my chemical structure here so you could all marvel at how handsome I am, but vBulletin (apparently) squooshed out all the blank spaces.
Oh well.
Thanks muchly Quix!
Hee hee, I’m brittle and semi-lustrous!
Please, Please can I name someone Moronic Acid?
http://www.bris.ac.uk/Depts/Chemistry/MOTM/silly/sillymols.htm
I want to be the mineral cummingtonite…
Sweet! I’m a pretty purple! Now what is that called, actually? I see copper and ammonium…
Kewl!! I got morphine!!! Damn, I love this message board!
I’ll join the chorus of women saying “Do me, Do me!” For reference, I’m a belly dancer, and my name is the Hindu word for “Too much”!
And could you do my boyfriend, rjk, as well? What can I tell you about him… that he won’t kill me for saying He’s an avid reader with broad tastes, but he likes “hard-boiled” mysteries best.
[sup]You’re having too much fun with this. [/sup]
I wanna be a chemical! A compound, a molecule, whatever! Add me to your growing list of wannabes!