Quiz - How Much Of A Neckbeard Are You, Really?

Neckbeards are getting a lot of flak these days. Even if you don’t like fedoras or MLP, some of these might still apply to you! Take this quiz to find out for sure.

My score:

You checked off 3 out of 72 on this list!
You are: Clean Shaven! There’s no hair on your chinny-chin-chin. That makes you the opposite of a neckbeard! Keep on keepin’ on, you smooth operator.

14 of 72. Clean shaven like Batman. The animated Batman, not any of the live action posers.

I would have scored lower if it weren’t for Verhoeven.

I got 7 out of 72. The science and Libertarian questions were most of those. You can count me right out when it comes to any type of dorky hobbies or fandom especially if there are any ponies involved. I don’t even like real ponies because I have been around them enough to know what assholes they really are. I used to have this delusion that I was once a truly nice person until I got jaded because of circumstances beyond my control but then friends and family pointed out that has never been true so I couldn’t check any of the supposedly positive social interaction delusions either.

One.

14

4 out of 72. Clean shaven. Yep, 'bout right.

I dont think I could even recognize a fucking pony if I saw one. I’d just think it was a cute little horse.

  1. Probably because of the fedora/trilby questions.

“Fairy tails”?

I do own a gray wool trilby (I wear it to keep my bald head warm when I wear my long wool top coat). And I do have physical hair on my neck today. I work at home, so shaving isn’t much of a priority for me these days.

I got a 7. It’s a fair cop.

A 7. Clean shaven like Batman, whichis good since I literally do not have any hair on my face.

6 out of 72. I didn’t even understand all the questions. I’m clean shaven which is ironic because I actually do have a neckbeard.

7, mostly on the science and hating Miley Cyrus.

Clean shaven, although I actually have a beard (but not on my neck).

6 out of 72. But now I’m not sure whether that hat I have is a fedora or a trillby. It’s… a hat.

8 out of 72, mostly because I’m an atheist. I honestly don’t know what kind of freak would be 72 out of 72.

Two. I consider myself a nice girl, and I like Doritos. Probably not in that order.

  1. Clean shaven.

Who would admit to getting a score high enough to get classified as a neckbeard?

Those kids that pound out GAY on yourtube comments and play games in their parents basement all day.

Not knowing how it was going to be scored I didn’t check “I know what a D10 is” and “I know what a DM” is. I do, technically, know what they are, but only from hearing about them. Never played D&D, never rolled a die with more than 6 sided other than the one in (is it) Scatagories.

I also felt awkward checking “You have severely criticized said thing on the internet” since the only time I’ve done that is here (or other ‘serious’ boards). It’s funny, once in a while a co-worker will come into my office to find my typing away at my computer and make some comment like ‘did you just pwn someone on the internet’ and I’ll jokingly say ‘he was wrong and I was telling him why he was wrong’ to which he’ll say ‘it’s just the internet, you don’t have to take it so seriously’. Try as I might, I can’t convince him (the co-worker) that not everything place that you can converse with another person is youtube or reddit, sometimes (always for me since I don’t go to those places) people actually have well thought out arguments.
Anyways, that line was likely about people arguing in comments sections of things like youtube or reddit or facebook posts.

15! I’m the “winner” so far. But still clean-shaven like Batman.

Some of the questions were a stretch. I checked “combined Mountain Dew with other foods” because I once tried to make an alcoholic beverage with it. But that’s really a half-point at best.

I don’t get the point of the TANSTAAFL questions. To the extent that neckbeards have self-respect, what self-respecting neckbeard wouldn’t know The Moon is a Harsh Mistress? The poll implies that neckbeards are not well-read in classic sci-fi.

You may have missed that the TANSTAAFL question was for self-defined libertarians only.

I know what TANSTAAFL stands for. I know where it is from (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress is the book that made it famous, but not the first place where it appeared). I know my PoliSci teacher misquoted it and attributed it to the wrong country (“as the English say, ‘there is no such thing as a free lunch’”). But I’m not a self-defined libertarian, nor are most of the gamers and science fiction readers I know.