From email the last few days (I need a pickmeup):
“You’re wierd, Patrick. But that’s what makes you so wonderful . . . more good than bad.”
“y’all need eachother.”
Right now I’d take “no, x person is uglier than you.”
Mostly because I hate to see this thread die, and also Mostly because I need to share:
I’m the aggressor in this situation! – George
To what? Small children? Under three? Small animals? Without claws? – Whit
Pastries? – Suz
Right. “I hunt pastries for a living!” – George
At least you could catch them. – Suz
She’s got . . . what is it? Necrophilia. – Whit’s mom, about Whit, meaning narcolepsy
No!!! That’s copulation with a corpse! – Whit
At least Scottish doesn’t require messy cleaning up. – George, given the option of sex, puke, or Scottish (as roommate qualities)
Why a midget on a stick? – Suz
Would you put a full sized person on a stick? – George
(it was an elaborate metaphor for chemical bonds. I think.)
Don’t make me come over there and castrate you with a fork! – Suz, to Denver
That’s NOT your G-spot. – Steve
Have you ever worn pantyhose? – George
No. – Eric
Well, I beat you there. – George
See George, this is why you should keep neat things in your pocket. Lots of women randomly handle them. – Eric (he was talking about his pen, over which Whit and I were oohing and ahing . . .)
Slip and Score!!! – Heather
If only it were that easy . . . – Steve
(it was a pottery conversation! or it started that way, anyway . . . )
“I like sexual harassment. It makes me feel pretty.” - Juniper200!
“We all have shitty days. Some of us just have them closer together.” - Laura, my company leader.
“EVERYTHING’S better in France… oh, except hamburgers.” - my boyfriend (who grew up there).
…and from my three-year-old cousin (this isn’t exactly “from a friend”, but this is too damn cute):
Bedtime.
Lizzie’s mom: Lizzie, let’s say a prayer for the poor people.
Lizzie: Why are they poor, mommy?
Mom: Well, because they don’t have any money.
Lizzie: Then why don’t they get JOBS?
We were annoying middle schoolers today and one decided to tell Tasha that she was going to “Pop a can in her ass.” And has anyone noticed that little people’s only comeback is “shut up”?
From my three-year-old foster sister, walking out of the kitchen (where we’d just finished baking chocolate chip cookies, and I’d told her not to eat any) with chocolate on her face:
Me: Stephanie, did you eat a cookie?
Stephanie: No. It fell in my mouth.
Oooohhh…I’ll get you for this tsarina. Just you wait.
One of my favorite all time quotes…
“You don’t know what you have until you no longer have it”
- Unknown
racinchikki…were you reading Huis Clos by chance when your French teacher said, “It could be a chimney…”??
My favorite quotes…hrm…
My friend Jenny, on Venetian transportation: You know, I was just looking around for cars…and then I realized - OHHHH! That’s why there are no cars in Venice.
My suitemate Aleah on the dining hall’s breakfasts: They need to make different FOODS, not the same food in different SHAPES.
Sarah L.: Your mom was here?? Did she bring cookies??
Me: Well, yeah.
Sarah L.: Woo-HOO! So where are the no-bakes?
Me: There aren’t any.
Sarah L.: WHAAAT?? Linz! That is so not cool! But tell your mom to send some to 208 and we’ll love her forever.
Jerome: We could order pizza from somewhere other than Papa John’s, but how could we…guarantee the goodness?
From a somewhat dramatic friend, realizing his tendancies…
“I am like a lion tamer in a cage full of kittens.”
Commenting on the pants on a guy on the bus…
(what I said)
“Any tighter and he’ll have an accident.”
(what my friend heard)
“Any tighter and he’ll have an accent.”
There are more, when I think of them.
Quadzilla – Yep. Sartre.
Said by a French teacher at my high school (I wasn’t there personally, but this did make it into the year book):
“Look at me my little cabbages! Give yourselves a thrill!”