Quotes from kids shows that are out there

Cosmo: I thought you said PLASTIC SURGERY! grows huge breasts

Timmy: That’s not what I said!

Cosmo: Well too bad because I’m keeping them!


Scene: a swimming hole. Female dives in and male follows her, but makes a bellyflop.

Girl: You form’s not right. Let me show you.

She dives in again, but her top falls off (you see her back.)

Boy: You have perfect form.

Sesame Street: “I know! Billy can get on top of Suzy, and you get on top of Billy, and I’ll get on top of you, and we’ll do it together!

(Context: Trying to reach a perfect apple on a high branch.)

(This is from memory, so bare with me.)

I got this from a Japanese cartoon short that teaches English to little kids. A little dragon named Gogo teaches two Japanese children how to build something. Since kids are learning, you have to imagine a two second pause of awkward silence after every line and everything spoken very slowly.

Gogo: Hey, Jimmy. Do you like balls?

Jimmy: I like balls, Gogo.

Jane: What are you talking about?

Jimmy whispers to Gogo

Jimmy: You’ll see, Jane. giggles

Gogo: Jane, do you like trains?

Jane stares at camera

Gogo: Let’s make a train. Jimmy, do you have any balls?

Jimmy stares at camera

Gogo: I have some balls. produces bouncing balls out of thin air

Jane: How did you do that?

produces train out of thin air

Jimmy: That’s neat!

Gogo: Balls are great.

(I’m 100% serious, by the way. To the best of my knowledge, I made none of that up. :p)

Wacko, Yacko and Dot are looking for clues at a crime scene. Dot comes in carrying the Artist Formally Know As.
Yacko: “No no no. I said finger prints.”

Dot goggles “Ewwwwww…” *Tosses Prince away.


Tommy decides that being naked is the only way to be and the boy and girl twins Phil and Lil come over and Tommy tells them that they should be “nakie” too and Phil and Lil take off their clothes. Tommy looks at Lil who is the girl twin and says “Uh Lil, can I ask you a question?”

This scene involves Keith, Allura, and Pidge (Hunk and lance there, too, but not important).

My memory’s a little different than yours.

Keith, the first diver, actually pulls his dive off - it’s just not a very impressive dive.

Allura decides to show him up, and dives in - a more elabourite, impressive dive.

Allura pops up out of the water. ‘What did you think of that?’

Pidge holds up her top and laughs. ‘I think I like it.’

Unfortunately I can’t find the scene online anywhere to check which of us is remembering closer to the actual scene…any combination of keywords I can think of to search for lead to fanfic or completely OT stuff.

Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob: “Patrick, your genius is showing!”

Patrick: covers crotch “Where?!”

From Rugrats:

In a discussion of pretenting to be animals, Phil announces that he wants to “be” Reptar. Lil whines, “But I want to be part of Reptar, too.” Phil: “You can be the butt part.” :smiley:

Also from Rugrats: One of the kids gets a Boppo doll which is one of those punching bag type dolls that stand back when you hit them. The kid is playing with it in his room all the time. So the older girl says that there’s something wrong about a kid who spends all his time in his room boppin’ his boppo.

My friend (who actually has kids) told me this one and had to make up some kind of story for his daughters about why he fell out of the chair laughing.


(James, who isn’t gay, but is a little efeminate is wearing a tightly cut Moltres [a flaming bird] costume.)
Meowth: Where did he get that?
Jesse: I think it came out of his closet.

I have to disagree here. The actor who does James’ voice for the English version has been playing him stereotypically gay.

The archrivals of Jesse and James are another Team Rocket pair named Butch and Cassidy. The English voice for Butch is Harvey Firestein impersonation.

Transformers Beast Wars

The Autobot Silverbolt and the Decepticon Black Arachnia are in love. In one episode, Silverbolt leaves camp for a rendezvous. He and Black Arachnia talk for a while, then he takes her in his arms and leans in. The shot cuts to their legs. Black Arachnia bends one knee in the classic ‘kissed woman swooning’ pose. Later, Silverbolt returns to camp. Rattrap asks him where he was.

Silverbolt “Scouting for the enemy.”

Rattrap (sneering and making it very clear he knows where SB was) “Find any new positions?”

Animaniacs has also made jokes of the “penal code” and Beethoven the pianist.

“That’s enough out of you, mister potty mouth!”

(dialogue is from memory and probably inaccurate.)
“Today children, we’re going to learn how to conjugate.”

Yakko “Hey lady, this is a family program.”

“No, Yakko. I’ll conjugate with you.”

Yakko (to audience)“Goodnight everybody!”