The sig that magically unchecked itself because I mentioned it.
The words I live by . . .
Go placidly amid the noise and the waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself & heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss & when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment & despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle & mutilate.
Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you – that lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; & let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 555-4311; ask for Ken. Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; & reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, & whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him to be – Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
The “Deteriorata” by Tony Hendra
“Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.”
[sub]Jedi Master Yoda[/sub]
“There’s always a little dirt, or infinity, or something.”
“One of the biggest and most important tools in theoretical physics is the wastebasket.”
–Richard P. Feynman
"As I lay in bed one night looking up at the stars, I wondered, ‘What the hell happened to my ceiling?’. "
“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.”
–Unknown
I was waiting for someone to cough up that old chestnut.
“Rest assured that walk through the ocean of most souls will scarcely get your feet wet.”
I use that line on a routine basis.
“Trying is the first step towards failure. The lesson is- never try.” Homer Simpson
“Don’t touch that!” My mom, when I was about to touch a hot stove.
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.” John Belushi, in Animal House
“If you have some bacon, we can heve bacon and eggs. If you have some eggs.” Joe Walsh
Two from my Dad (dunno if they’re original, he doesn’t recall saying either one, but I was there when he said 'em. I hearby record them for posterity.):
“It’s not difficult to appear intelligent in this world. The competition isn’t stiff.”
“If you want to pay less taxes, make less money.”
After I mixed milk and orange juice, my mother said: “Don’t drink that!”
I ignored her then, but I don’t now.
[Southern accent}
“I have more guns than I need but less guns than I want”
[/Southern accent]
~Kittie
“Chance favors the prepared mind”
[sub]Under Siege 2[/sub]
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. But remember,
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Look before you leap. But remember,
He who hesitates is lost.
Nothing venture, nothing gain. But remember,
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Seek and ye shall find. But remember,
Curiosity killed the cat.
Save for a rainy day. But remember,
Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Life is what we make it. But remember,
What is to be will be.
Too many cooks spoil the broth. But remember,
Many hands make light work.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison. But remember,
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
With age comes wisdom. But remember,
Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings.
A rolling stone gathers no moss. But remember,
A setting hen never lays.
A hollow pot makes the most noise. But remember,
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
To thine own self be true. But remember,
The nail that stands out gets hammered down.
Faint heart never won fair lady. But remember,
The meek shall inherit the Earth.
Kittie: I like your attitude 
The human dream dosen’t mean shit to a tree. - Grace Slick
You’ve got to be digging it while it’s happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal - Frank Zappa
Here are ones which highly impact the life I live (links further explain my personal perspective)…
“Make positive effort for good.”
— Dainin Katagiri, Roshi
“Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them all…”
— (One of) The Four Vows, evening Zazen
Excerpted from:
Voice of the Voiceless
by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
**I am the voice of the voiceless: **
Through me, the dumb shall speak;
Till the deaf world’s ear be made to hear
The cry of the wordless weak.
From street, from cage, and from kennel,
From jungle and stall, the wail
Of my tortured kin proclaims the sin
Of the mighty against the frail…
<SNIP>
And I am my brother’s keeper,
And I will fight his fight,
And speak the word for beast and bird,
Till the world shall set things right.
“I am only one, but still, I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. And, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do what I can.”
— Edwin Hale
“We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.”
— Calvin Coolidge, American president
“I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
— Stephen Grellet, 18th/19th-century philosopher
“I long to accomplish some great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”
— Helen Keller, 20th-century Nobel Prize-winning social activist
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th-century essayist and poet
“Every man’s life touches so many other lives that
when he isn’t around it leaves an awful hole…”
— Clarence Odbody, Angel Second-Class
“Give a hoot, don’t pollute.”
— Woodsy Owl
“Only you can prevent forest fires.”
— Smokey Bear
“Be mindful of the present, young Padawan…keep your focus here and now.”
— Qui-Gon Gin
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
(Some things remain with you no matter what)
“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth…”
— King David, Proverbs 27:2
“Do not let the sun go down on your anger…”
— Apostle Paul, Ephesians 4:26
“But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…”
— Matthew, the Apostle (Chpt 6, Verse 3)
You reap what you sow.
-Myron
A Last Judgment is necessary because fools flourish." – Wm. Blake
“. . . [The poet] arrives at the unknown: and even if, half crazed, in the end, he loses the understanding of his visions, he has seen them! Let him be destroyed in his leap by those unnamable, unutterable and innumerable things: there will come other horrible workers: they will begin at the horizons where he has succumbed.” --Arthur Rimbaud
“A Discordian is one who likes to wear Emperor Norton’s old clothes.” --L.A. Rollins
“Resisting madness is the maddest way of being mad.” – Norman O. Brown
“Mad, Bad and Dangerous to know” – Lady Caroline Lamb (of Byron)
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. --Joseph Wood Krutch
“Just please go careful, Zoyd. 'Cause soon they’re gonna be coming after everything, not just drugs, but beer, cigarettes, sugar, salt, fat, you name it, anything that could remotely please any of your senses, because they need to control all that. And they will.”
“Fat Police?”
“Perfume Police. Tube Police. Music Police. Good Healthy Shit Police. Best to renounce everything now, get a head start.”
-Vineland
Music is more revelation than any wise, old saying or philosophy can be. (Beethoven)
“Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.”
– Oscar Wilde
“The moment a person forms a theory, his imagination sees in every object only the traits that favor that theory.” – Thomas Jefferson
“Empty yourself of everything you know.” – Lao Tzu
“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.” - St. Augustine
“A wise government shall restrain men from injuring one another but leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits.” – Thomas Jefferson
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.” – Woody Allen
“I want to die peaceful & in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and kicking, like his passengers.”
“It is frustrating knowing all the answers when no one bothers to ask the questions”
“Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.”
(I don’t remember the exact quote, so I’m paraphrasing a bit.)
To get anywhere in this world you’ve got to be oh so clever or oh so kind. For years, I was clever. I recommend kind.
(Elwood P. Dowd, from the movie “Harvey”)
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, until you find out it was planted on top of a septic tank…Erma Bombeck
quotes I live by:
I never drink water, fish f* in it. **[W.C.Fields]
**Gun’s aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live ** [Dorothy Parker]