I hope one day she has a daughter just like her.
It’s only wrong if they want to have an ongoing relationship with their daughter.
If they only think of her as a houseguest, then they should be fine with the remainder of their relationship being that of a houseguest they told to leave.
They are destroying their relationship with their daughter over these rules.
From here
This parent needs to be asked to discuss his teenage daughter running away to live with another family. I’m sure he would have been thrilled to discuss the situation, you know, if anyone else had an interest in talking to him. He’s not going to reach out to create a solution. What he’s doing is punishing her, with the expectation that she is going to come crawling back to him, hat in hand ready to do whatever daddy says she has to do to live under his precious roof.
Yes. But they have a right to be. She has no claim on their money once she’s 18. She’s free of their control, and their support.
If I remember correctly my college financial status depended on whether or not my mother had declared me as a dependent on her tax returns. These parents need to NOT declare her as a dependent on their tax returns. It might be too late for this year’s tuition since the financial arrangements were probably made with last year’s returns but they should stop now giving her any financial support (except, maybe paying off the private school bill since she was a minor then - but make sure it goes to the school and not to her).
Assuming its a 529 plan and a parent is the owner, there are tax implications if the money isn’t used to pay qualified educational expenses. But those expenses don’t have to be for the original beneficiary. I’ve transferred money from my son’s account to my daughter’s and vice versa ( very different due dates for tuition). If there is money left in one of the accounts when they’re done with college, I can make myself the beneficiary and go get a master’s. Or I can wait until one of them has a kid and make that kid the beneficiary. Or I can change the beneficiary to one of my nieces or nephews.
that is certainly one possibility, by unsupported by any facts.
Another possibility, also unsupported by any facts, is that this is a strong-willed teen whose behavior has been getting more and more entitled and combative. Her parents have been attempting to curb it over the past who-knows-how-long but have failed. Finally, in an expression of tough love, they say it’s time for you to fend for yourself.
That’s a two-way street- (assuming they even told her to leave in some way other than “if you don’t like it here, you’re free to leave”)- she seems to be fine with having an ongoing relationship with her parents’ money but not her parents. She’s an adult , right? She should be able to choose her own boyfriends, not have to follow a curfew or any other rules her parents impose ,correct? Well, the bad comes along with the good. If you don’t want to follow anyone else’s rules, then you live on your own and support yourself.* Adults look at the landscape around them and make a decision- are the benefits of living with my parents and having a car and my tuition paid worth following the rules? If they are, then you stay and follow the rules. If not, then you leave and give up the benefits. Adults don’t expect to to get the benefits of being an adult and the benefits of being a child while avoiding the drawbacks of either.
I wonder what the friend’s father is getting out of this- because I’m pretty sure this lawsuit wasn’t the daughter’s idea and I wonder if she would have returned to her parents in a day or two without his influence.
*( there will still be a host of rules you have to follow even then- just not your parents).
Agreed. You can be with in your rights and still be an asshole for exercising said rights.
Most people do, when said 18yo is living under the roof they pay for, eating the food and wearing the clothes they bought, and running up the utilities they pay the bills on. If you want the financial arrangements of a child and have someone else be totally responsible for supporting you, you accept with the restrictions of a child like a curfew and chores. If you want the freedoms of an adult like setting your own schedule, you accept the financial arrangements of an adult and support your damn self.
Well, you know, I love my children, which means I want them to have the freedom to be their own person.
By the age of 18 and about to graduate HS, said child has been proven to be responsible and capable of making good decisions. Even more so if said child is an honor student involved in extra curricular activities.
We’re not talking about some pot smoking teen with no ambition in life. We’re talking about a well rounded young adult here.
The only reason these parents want to impose these silly rules is because they are control freaks. That’s it, there is no life lesson for the daughter to learn by insisting these rules be adhered to.
What about the car? Didn’t I read somewhere the parents said they were keeping the car since they’d paid for it? If they paid for it and had it registered in one of their names, fine & dandy, keep the car. If they paid for it and it’s registered in the daughter’s name, tough noogies, daddyo/mommyo–'twas a figt and gone forever. That’s assuming, of course, the car’s paid off. If not paid off, then that whole “who’s the financial contract thing with” thing looms.
That would be gift, not a figt.
You’re always taking away my figts! flounces off
In denying her claims thus far, the judge suggested that the idea that parents owe a duty to their adult children represented “…an expansion” of existing law.
Does anyone disagree?
“Bitch”? Why is this girl suddenly a bitch?
I’m really surprised about the parents getting away with not paying her school fees. How can they possibly not be liable for them? That’s their debt, not hers, surely?
It also makes them seem much shittier - it’s pretty shitty to cut your child off for such minor things as they claim she did, but to not even let her finish school? That’s just spiteful. Hopefully either the school will let her graduate anyway or she can transfer her credits to a state school and graduate there. Don’t know if that’s possible though.
The parents are assholes. Legally sanctioned assholes, but assholes nonetheless.
Speaking for myself, my children will always have a home under my roof.
Well, I hope I manage to raise my children to be strong-willed and combative (entitled, not so much). Those are good qualities that will serve them well in life. If the’re also honor students then I’ve done my duty as parent.
(Plus, we also know she’s capable of making good friends - good enough to take her in when she needs help. Also a point in her favor).
It does seem a bit “You have a boyfriend we don’t like, and we think you’re going to screw up your life, so to prevent you from doing that, we’re going to… screw up your life, I guess.” There really isn’t enough info here to fully pick sides, but the parents’ words really don’t seem to square with their actions…
No.
And I think it would be funny if she moved in with some other friend with an attorney father and had him sue attorney #1 on some ineffective representation type charge.
Yup. You can usually easily transfer a 529 account to another student, as well.
Unless more details are forthcoming, it’s impossible to know who’s being unreasonable here.
If they kicked her out because she was late for her curfew a few times, that’s one thing. If they kicked her out because she was writing a manifesto and building pipe bombs in their basement, well that’s another.
The truth is obviously somewhere in between, but I cannot even form an opinion on the scant information given.