RAAP (Rape Assistance & Awareness Program) volunteers

The BBQ Pit
1

In the pit because my ignorance is probably of the sort that can only be burned away.

For at least the last 5 years they knock on my door every November/December, usually after 7:00 pm, always after sunset. Now, after the last of the family is home for the evening the front door is locked and the porch light goes off–it’s dark out there but our evening rituals don’t usually involve having company over during the week. The front door is not very welcoming. It goes like this: door knock, wife & I exchange glances & wonder who the hell that could be rapping at our unfriendly chamber door. As the one with testosterone, muscles, and the best life insurance policy I get to answer the door. Lo and behold, it’s a young woman. Attractive, petite, maybe 110 pounds, wearing a cumbersome parka (because it’s like 20 degrees outside) and holding a bunch of pamphlets. And she’s alone. She introduces herself as a volunteer for RAAP, etc. etc. As I let her go into her spiel I’m casually checking her body posture. She’s standing square at the doorway facing into the house with her feet maybe 3 inches from the threshold, she’s got her weight shifted onto her left foot (the only way to get away from my front door is for her to bolt to the left) and she’s on her heels. I don’t see any strange cars in the immediate vicinty. I need only take one lunging step and she’s off her feet & getting hauled into the house. If I was looking for a new addition to my dungeon harem, she’s a perfect candidate.

I’ll stop right here because you know where I’m going with this. Yeah, everyone should be able to go anywhere they want to, into any situation, at any time of day, unaccompanied, without fear of personal attack. In the real world, however, there are such things as good ideas and bad ideas, and tragic irony. So what am I missing here? This whole scenario must be orchestrated because it seems so perfectly anti personal safety awareness.

2

In the realm of dangerous acts, knocking on a random person’s door in the evening while female probably ranks statistically well under things like crossing the street, driving to work, eating a hot dog, etc.

3

Rape is the fault of the rapist.

You got that right.

4

So…nobody is responsible for their own personal safety? I’ll not be teaching that to my kids, thankyouverymuch.

Educate me–this will be your second invitation. Or do you bring only snarks?

5

You need to realize that there is only one crime that you can’t suggest common sense crime prevention measures about.

I do agree with andy that such a scenerio can happen but it’s extremely rare. Still not something I would reccomend.

6

You had her all scoped out and everything. Why didn’t you rape her?

7

My wife would have demanded a 3-way, and that’s just icky. And because, although she had no way of knowing it, that’s just not my bag. FTR, I was scoping as a mental exercise because I was stricken by the oddness of the situation.

8

Ah. She had no way of knowing it.

Every guy’s a potential rapist if you’re a petite, attractive woman in a parka (?), would you say?

9

Better yet, teach your children that there is never an excuse for rape, never a situation where a person deserves/should have stopped rape, and that knocking on someone’s door at night while being attractive and small isn’t an invitation to be mocked.

What do you need education about? That rape is wrong? That your pit is stupid? That you had no idea who was watching out for her, who knew she was there, or who else was going around the neighborhood at the same time. Do you really think a rape crises/counseling center is going to send out women alone without knowing where/who they are with? Or would you rather wallow in your ignorance?

Here’s some stuff for you, it might be in those pamphlets you got:

*"There is no way anyone can guarantee that she/he will not become a victim of sexual assault. Until no one rapes, we are all vulnerable. Individuals may reduce their own chances of becoming a victim by following some basic safety suggestions. But again, this doesn’t guarantee safety and it doesn’t stop rape, it only means that the assailant may choose someone else.

  • Know the facts. About 80% of victims know the perpetrator. Rapes can happen anywhere, anytime.
  • Trust your feelings. If a situation feels uncomfortable, trust your intuition and do not be afraid of making a scene or calling attention to yourself. Being a little embarrassed is far better than being assaulted.
  • In dating or social situations, be wary of anyone who behaves in an intrusive manner, comes on too strong, or who chooses not to listen to you. Know that alcohol and/or drugs greatly reduce your judgment regarding safety and be extra wary of anyone who seems to be trying to intoxicate you.
  • At home, keep your doors and windows locked at all times, even if you are running a quick errand or are expecting guests.
  • On the street, walk with confidence–keep your head up and pay close attention to the environment. If possible, walk or jog in well-lit and populated areas or with someone else.
  • In your car, lock your car as you get in and out. Have your keys ready as you approach your car to get back in. If you will be returning to your car after dusk, try to park in a well lit location.
  • Enroll in a Personal Safety Skills for women (self-defense) class and learn more ways to protect yourself."*

Believing rape is the fault of the rapist does not mean you shouldn’t protect yourself. And it also doesn’t mean that some idiot who makes grand assumptions should mock you for knocking on your door trying to educate the public and get help for rape victims.

More for you:

*"Why does RAAP send men and women into the community from 4 to 9 pm?

RAAP has been sending men and women out into the community since its inception. Men and women should be involved with ending sexual violence in our community, and sending them door to door insures that each house hold is reached in a personable setting. We go out from 4 to 9 pm because that is when the majority of people are home.

Is it safe for men and women to go door to door?

We believe that it is safe, as well as our responsibility to take a stance against sexual violence in this manner. We are always in a group and we do have safety in mind first.

Are the people knocking on my door really legitimate?

RAAP has a canvass staff of 10 to 30 adults in the community from 4 to 9 pm on any given evening (1 to 5 pm on weekends). All of RAAP staff has identification, a permit from the state, and a copy of our 501© 3 status."*

Dumbass.

10

Theft is the fault of the thief and Robbery is the fault of the robber.

I will lock my car and home just the same.

11

OK, sure. So articulate the analogy. In this situation, the equivalent to locking your car and home is what, precisely?

12

Will you expect to be mocked and pitted for offering information that theft and robbery are wrong? Do you expect some idiot will assume that you and your organization are so fucking dumb as to leave your doors unlocked and keys in the car when you do?

13

Maybe her vagina was locked?

14

Taking reasonable precautions to ensuring one’s personal safety. For example, when going door to door in a strange neighborhood at night, go in pairs, not alone.

15

No, but if the topic of theft and robbery are being discussed, and someone mentions the concept of locking your doors, the response shouldn’t be “You’re blaming the victim, why not teach people to not steal, instead?”

16

And if the OP only mentioned “locking your doors” (or whatever would be the equal in this extremely tortured analogy), we wouldn’t have a problem at all. But rather than that simple observation, we get the OP, the one with the muscles and testosterone, pitting a woman, based on assumptions he made, because he didn’t see anyone right at the door with her. It’s a stupid fucking Pit of a group and a woman, who are trying to do good work and do so safely.

17

I have taught my children any nondefensive violence against anyone else is wrong. All the children of the world are not mine to parent, however. And even if they were, kids don’t always do what they’re taught. Reliance on the good parenting and obedience of any would-be attacker is worthy of mockery. And I never mocked the young lady, neither to her face nor in here so shove that right in your ear. And yeah, attractive was only a bonus. My point was, if I were predisposed to impulsive crimes of opportunity I’d have had little trouble with her. Sure, might have gotten busted a day or so later, or maybe within a few hours. Small comfort to her though.

Dumbass

18

You know, we have a whole forum for mundane, pointless stuff that you feel you must share. Instead, you put it in the Pit.

Congratulations, you big, burly man who could have raped a woman but didn’t. Kudos to you!

Or within a minute or two when the people she was with came after her. As I’ve “educated you” about, RAAP does not send people out alone, and do take steps to insure the safety of their volunteers. The fact a big tough guy like yourself could beat her for a few second or minutes before her friends and co-workers could come to her aid isn’t really all that impressive to me. I don’t think “Hey look! I could have beaten up and raped a young, attractive girl who came to my door” is really something to brag about.

19

I fully agree that all men need to be treated as potential rapists, and should not be trusted.

20

You know what. I think I’m coming off as a humorless jagoff/Pit junior mod. I’m sure that The Great Sun Jester didn’t mean to Pit RAAP or their volunteers for not always having two people at every door they go to, and instead just found it ironic that a rape prevention/counseling group would allow a woman to go unescorted to a door that they had apparently been each of the last 5 years. While I’m not a fan in the least of the message and assumptions contained in this Pit, I’m pretty sure I’m ascribing things to Sun Jester that may have been unintentional and that he wasn’t mocking RAAP or the woman.