:rolleyes: indeed. You and Guin putting your minds together is truly something to behold.
Olive, thanks for your thoughtful posts.
If any of it has actually motivated anyone, we’d almost assuredly never know anyway, either because they wouldn’t admit it because he’s just such a big meanie, or because the motivation happens long enough after the fact that they’ve forgotten the point or origin.
The reality is, you can’t really define “working” on the opinions of a few random, anonymous posters on a message board. It’s far from the consensus you seem to think it is. If Rand Rover has a philosophy he thinks is a good one, “working” is simply defined as his own satisfaction that he’s living according to that philosophy to the best of his ability.
There are various other posters who’ve generated far more controversy and pit posts than Rand Rover, but I’d hardly use that quantity as evidence that there is something wrong with them, their philosophy in life, or their methods of sharing such philosophies.
Exactly! It’s like was settled on in one of my classes. 90% what happens to you is under you control 10% isn’t. This debate came after the text book said 100% was your fault, essentially.
I’d go further to say maybe 40% of the bad stuff is from ignorance, and 40% from poor foresight\decision making.
Generalizing of course, different people with different life experiences may disagree.
The asshole assigns blame for the past and rubs their nose in it. The compassionate person tells them how to plan better in the future, and understands ignorance doesn’t make them a bad person. It just needs fought.
Current problems are lessons to do better in the future.
I’m firmly convinced the thing that separates most of the successful from the problem haunted isn’t natural ability, or luck. It’s a learned set of behaviors, learning from one’s mistakes and a desire to do better. Oh and a curious mind really helps.
All the other things, self-discipline, time management, setting one’s self apart, building a career, preparing for the worst, and making the best of current circumstances flow from that core set up.
I also think not everyone will choose that set-up, and you know what that’s okay. The world needs ditch-diggers as much as it needs doctors. Everyone has something to contribute to society.
That’s so naive. It’s almost cute. You think she’s half you. For one thing she doesn’t have any of your mitochondrial DNA so she has only 45% her genetics from you.
And the important part. When she gets older she’ll prolly rebel and be a hippie or something. For you see she may have 45% of your genes but her mind is her’s alone.
New Orleans has ties going back to French Arcadian culture, with a mosaic of influences from Africa, the Natives, Spanish, Latin America. It is something unique. Something so rare there wasn’t anything like it. Now it’s damaged and that culture scattered. It’s had an amazing impact on our art especially American music. It help shape Jazz, and R&B which lead to Rock and Roll It’s enriched our culture so much.
As a country we’d be much poorer without it.
Would Rand tell the people who carried on that culture to “fuck off”? If so Rand would destroy anything that gives us soul.
Btw if I get warned or banned for this under the new rules please tell me to phrase that statement with just as much impact, simplicity, and meaning.
I thought I was pretty clear that I’m not talking about his life philosophy. I’m talking about his ability to communicate and interact effectively and productively with others. I’ve used the words “communication” “effective” and “productive” multiple times.
He has stated his goal in his attempts to communicate to be to motivate others and to help them. The people in question have stated that he isn’t being helpful, and I think they are honestly in a better position than he is to determine what bits help them, and what bits don’t, it being their lives and all. Ergo, he has failed at his stated goal of helpfulness, and his methods of being helpful, and/or his methods of communicating his ideas, are not working.
I could rephrase this half a million times, but it doesn’t change the fact that he has overwhelming evidence that his communication style is ineffective at achieving his stated goals. To fix this, he can either change his communication style to be more effective, or stop pursuing those goals. So far he’s chosen neither, so it’s unsurprising to me that he still remains flustered and frustrated, and people continue to find him unhelpful and unmotivating. shrug If he wishes to change this state of affairs he has the option of doing so. It’s on him.
And don’t forget that amazing FOOD!
There’s nothing like it, any place else on earth.
[nitpick] It’s Acadian [/nitpick]
Now back to the weenie roast…
I’m glad you see them for the sincerity that they are. I really don’t think you’re an asshole, and actually your willingness to stay in this thread and confront these ideas gives me a healthy dose of respect for you. I think it’s at least clear by now that you aren’t motivated by unkindness, you just have a different view than others about what will make people happy. I don’t see the purpose of dredging up old threads at this point because I think I made my point and you made yours.
I wanted to add something, that might be helpful in understanding my particularly strong reaction to this situation. I currently work for a nonprofit consumer credit counseling agency that is being slammed right now due to the economy. The demand for our services has at least doubled in the last few months, our bankruptcy department has expanded from 15 to 50 people in the last year, and we do not have the resources to keep up. We do counseling for all kinds of debt, including mortgage delinquency, credit cards/collections and bankruptcy. I talk to probably 50 people a day who are right in the thick of this economic crisis… angry, sobbing, frightened, panicky people who are terrified that they are going to lose their home, their job, their life. Some of them have been victims of circumstance, others made poor choices without realizing the fullness of the consequences those choices would have. One of the most useful tools I have acquired is the ability to show empathy.
You would be surprised how far a little explicit compassion can go. When people are that emotionally distraught, they can’t think rationally. They are paranoid about imagined betrayals and resistant to the idea that their situation is anything other than a complete disaster. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, ‘‘Yeah, a lot of people are going through a really difficult time right now.’’ This immediately validates their feelings and also makes them realize they are not alone. We don’t do it just to make the client feel good… we do it also because it’s an effective way to gain trust, get information and lead people to understanding how much control they actually have. Showing someone that you care about them is, quite frankly, one of the easiest ways to make someone listen to what you have to say.
Here’s hoping she’ll be a real hellion when she becomes a teenager. THEN he’ll see what selfish is.
I guess you’d know all about daughters disappointing their fathers, wouldn’t you Guin?
No, sorry. MY father is actually quite proud of me. (Even if I have no desire to be a mortician). Who do you think taught me to be such a liberal? (I think the only thing that would “disappoint” him would be my shitty health)
And I already know what he thinks about people like you.
Dear Sir, (Guinastasia)
(Not YOU, Dumbass)
Thank you for an eloquent response in a situation where I would have gone over the line and simply said “Fck ff!”
Would your daughter really disappoint you if she was different then you?
I bet he does a good job of putting on a brave face, but deep down, Guin, you know the truth.
Well, I have known you haere for nine years, Guin, and I have to say that in narly 35,000 posts you have never done a batter job of saying just what needs to be said, in proper tone and demeanor, than right here. Bravo!!
I paraphrase a quote I cannot attribute, but have personally taken to heart.
“The primary failing of fathers is their demand that their children be a credit to them.”
You’re a hateful little s.o.b. aren’t you? Oh wait, that’s not fair to your Mom is it? Is she proud to have a rotten, worthless jackanape for a son? I can just imagine.
Hmm. Manipulative little cunt ain’t you?
Trying to dig out some bit of insecurity. Saying what ever bovine excrement you think will inflict the most damage.
I truly feel sad for your kid having a dad so petty and mean spirited.
Your words are calculated to hurt with no regard for truth and should be given the same level of consideration of any common sociopathic liar.