If you bite the ears off a marshmallow Peeps bunny, it (he?) looks like Frosty the Snowman.
No matter what, even if there are only two adults in the house, even if only one of those adults is the one that always does the laundry, even if that laundry-doing adult always immediately folds the clothes…socks are STILL lost.
If you bite the ears off Evander Holyfield, it looks like you won’t box for a while
Sentences that start in “Dont worry but…” always makes you worry.
The pollen has made my car look like it is honey glazed . . . and for some reason everytime I look at it I crave ham.
My nosering is infected and smells like cheese.
Every train carriage, bus, or aircraft cabin has exactly one crying baby in it. Never two, then none the next day.
C’mon. You ever seen TWO crying kids on a bus? Hmmm. Didn’t think so.
Why haven’t they invented a self-stirring saucepan? Like an ice-cream maker, only for hot food to put on the stove.
“Ass-fat may not sound
appealing but (a)it’s from the man you love (b)you know where it’s been and
©ass-fat alone never killed anyone–unless they were sat on.”
A truly inspired and intellectual piece of wisdom. What sheer genius! 
I like women, and don’t have mine here now *sigh.
I also like doughnuts… don’t have any of them here, either…
From the same genius:
“It takes a real man to offer you his ass fat!”
Yup, from now on any man I date will have to pass the ass fat challenge. 
I think these pearls of wisdom should be collected into “Chicken Soup for the Ass-Fat Soul”–that’s a best seller if I ever of heard one!
If only my mother had told me:
“Tracy, a man’s just not worth having if he’s not willing to offer you some Ass Fat”.
Could’ve saved me years of heartache.
What about us men without Ass Fat ? Are we to be deprived of love ? Tater, tell me it isn’t so!
Not that I’m deprived or anything right now
I’ve seen your lady love, Snormy, she doesn’t need your AssFat…unlike poor found her first forehead line tater.
Pity me.
OTOH, is it really a wonder that I’m starting to age so rapidly? What with being busy writing my new bestseller “Chicken Soup for the Vile Cunt’s Soul” and prancing around in my running shorts and pony tail looking cute…Oh! The stress!
Preach on, Spiny! I’m kind of a skinny guy myself. Not a whole lot of fat. Are these women saying we have less to offer because all we have is ass bone?
Another one: no matter how many times you try to explain the difference between “ashamed” and “embarrassed” to Korean students, they won’t get it until you walk into class with your fly down…
No, no, the point is, if you had ass fat to give, would you offer it to your true love?
Everything and more.