Yeah, don’t do strapless. I think few women have the shoulders and arms for them, and they seem ill-suited for both busty and smaller chested women alike. Plus there’s the “ring the bride” look if you have a very full or flouncy skirt. I don’t care for them.
For our rehearsal dinner, El Hubbo had an outdoor barbeque. (Here in the upper Midwest US, apparently it’s traditional for the groom’s side to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. I’ve no idea whether that’s the case anywhere else.) His parents (we married youngish; he was 22) bought a ton of steaks, we made a bunch of other sides (or bought them) and we grilled out. The wedding party was invited, our parents, whatever family that was in-town and wanted to come, and a bunch of his close friends that were up from Michigan for the wedding. My SIL still talks about it. Our wedding wasn’t that formal, anyway, but this was a nice way to start off the festivities.
It is also traditional for the groom’s family to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner in northern California, for what that’s worth. I don’t know if it’s a more general custom.
Regardless of where your marriage is held, and where they are born, your children will be entitled to claim both Irish and British citizenship, assuming Mr HNC is entitled to both Irish and British citizenship by virtue of his place of birth and the residency of his parents (i.e. born in Northen Ireland).
Actually neither Ireland nor the UK, requires parents to be married if paternity can be proven.
That was one of the primary reasons we opted to not do attendants. The distances weren’t anything like so long, but we were talking about a couple days off work and either driving or flying several states away, right at New Year’s, and I hated the idea of anyone feeling obligated to do that, even family. Besides, if I’d asked People A and B, I’d have to ask Person C and D, and then Person E would get upset if they weren’t asked…it would have ended up being something stupid like 5 or 6 bridesmaids by the time it was all said and done.
No, that’s not usual. It is, however, considered poor form to leave someone sitting in a hotel room all night because the only people in town they know are all at a dinner together, so out-of-town guests are often invited. Same goes for SO’s at bachelor/bachelorette parties or other group outings the night before. It really blows when the only people you know in the whole region are the bride, the groom, and your spouse…and they’re all parties you’re not invited to.
Or get a nice white formal dress (from someplace like J. Crew or Macy’s or Ann Taylor or whatever the Korean equivalent is) instead of a wedding dress. They come in styles other than floofy and extra-floofy, they are much more likely to have sleeves, and you can get something much nicer for much less cost because of the absence of wedding-markup.
You might start looking around now in department stores… I don’t know what Korea is like but in the US it’s starting to look like prom/formal season.
I’m considering two options for my wedding dress - either get it custom made from someone on Etsy or buying it at a department store in Ireland (they don’t sell them in Korean stores). Korean wedding dresses are expensive - it costs $1000 just to rent one, apparently. You can get one made for $1500, but I just can’t bring myself to spend over a grand on a dress. I’m hoping to get one for between $500 and $1000 and wear it for both weddings.
Well, we can’t have a wedding in the UK without getting officially married (unless we skip having someone officiate, I suppose). I’ll need a “visiting to get married” visa but that shouldn’t be too hard. We do eventually plan to settle down there, but we’ll be living in Korea for a few years yet. It makes things easier for my boyfriend if he’s officially married to a Korean citizen (in terms of what kind of working visa he qualifies for) so we’ll probably make things official in both places. I’d like to give my children the option of Korean citizenship - if we have a son and he doesn’t want to do military service, he can just give up his Korean citizenship when he turns 19. Korea now offers the option of dual citizenship for children with at least one Korean parent . . . although I don’t know what happens if I have a kid after I renounce my Korean citizenship (which I might have to do eventually when we settle down in the UK).
I think what Pleonast is talking about is having the ceremony and a reception in on place and a reception only in the other. Is there any benefit to having two separate ceremonies - does either country not recognize marriages which take place in the other? Do the benefits that come with being married to a Korean citizen require that the marriage take place in Korea - they might not as long as Korea recognizes the foreign marriage.
Actually, Pleonast said up-thread that he had two ceremonies as well.
Having two ceremonies is just more convenient for both of us. That way family members don’t feel pressured to travel overseas in order to attend the actual ceremony.
Hmm, I’m not sure I phrased that right - what we did was have the spouses of the attendants (groomsman, two bridesmaids, so three more people) sit with us at the head table. The usual tradition here would have had the groomsman and two bridesmaids sitting with us, but their spouses sitting at a different table (not the head table where the bride and groom and attendants sit).
I don’t get the allure of strapless, either - I like to watch the wedding dress shows, and damn near every one is strapless. I wish you the best of luck finding a dress you love - my one wedding regret is I really settled for my dress - if I had it to do over, I’d try harder to find a better dress.
Ah, I missed the critical step in that plan - we had no staff. It was a small wedding in a community centre where we served our own booze (well, a family member served it).
You can have a ceremony without filling out the paperwork. My brother-in-law and his wife got married civilly (without telling anyone in the family) so that he would be a spouse eligible for some of her work benefits, and then had a ceremony in front of friends and family almost a year later. (Of course, his father was pretty pissed when he found out about it after committing to pay for most of a wedding that wasn’t a “real” wedding, and then they got divorced in less than two years anyway. YMMV and hopefully will.)
Doesn’t getting married civilly involve paperwork? So they did the paperwork first and the ceremony afterwards?
It’s easier to go the “only ceremony, no paperwork” route in Korea, because the ceremony and the paperwork are two completely different things (you don’t need a registered officiant to conduct the ceremony, for example). But we have no problem with having two official ceremonies.
Ah, I see. Yeah, I don’t see any reason for seating the wedding party separately anyway.
ETA and regarding ENugent’s suggestion, even officiants who would not normally conduct a ceremony without filing the paperwork are likely to be willing to do so for people who are already legally married.
Sorry, I meant to say, if you could find a nice white dress that was NOT billed as a wedding dress – you could get one for less than $500, I bet, and it would almost certainly not be strapless. I really wanted to go this route but eventually was talked into a floofy strapless dedicated wedding dress complete with petticoat (bleargh). Okay, it was beautiful, but I definitely felt a little like a toy bride. Anyway, though, if that’s not your thing, I understand, especially given that it’s not what I ended up doing either.
Heh. Well, another option I was considering is looking for dresses at Oxfam and other charity shops. I’m actually of two minds about poofy dresses - I don’t want to spend so much money on an uncomfortable dress that I will most likely never wear again, but then again - when will I ever have the chance to wear a poofy princess gown? So if I find one that is affordable and in a style I like (not strapless ugh) I might go with that.
I definitely will be looking at white non-wedding dresses as well.
Interesting. Personally I’ve always thought white wedding dresses are tacky and have been done to death. Of course I ever get married there won’t be a bride involved so it’s a moot point.
Exactly! And it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable either - mine wasn’t, in spite of the un-undoable buttons and huge skirt - I felt wonderful in it.
I would recommend trying on a variety of dresses in styles, colours and fabrics, including some that don’t seem very “you” - you may be surprised by the one you fall in love with. I was - I’d also been looking for something simple and elegant, and after trying on lots of slinky ivory sheaths, tried on a corseted confection of champagne-coloured silk organza and promptly fell in love with it. And I don’t care what anyone says about strapless dreesses with floufy skirts - I know I looked beautiful
I saved money on shoes, on the grounds no-one would see them under the dress (they were lovely shoes, but they were inexpensive high street ones) and my veil, which I got off ebay for £15, and which matched my dress perfectly - something which none of the hugely expensive ones in the bridal shop did!
My dress was made out of a blue silk sari with silver embroidery. The seamstress tried and tried to convince me that I wouldn’t feel bridal if I wasn’t wearing white, but I decided in the end that I waned to wear something fabulous, period, and white just didn’t feel like, well, me.
Do whatever makes you happy! How many chances do you get to wear something fabulous like that?
The restaurant where Middlebro had the banquet offered them a tasting lunch months before, so they were able to decide among the dishes offered with the input of everybody who’d be paying (both paternal sets ponied up money).
I’ve known people who had weekend-long weddings which involved several meals, but there was nothing rehearsy about any of it, the ones before the actual ceremony were “meet and greets” for the guests.
My first communion dress was a white summer dress. Mom says I gave her one of the biggest gifts of her life on the day when we set off to look at poofy stuff and I said “ Mom, do I have to dress like a wedding cake?” Cheaper, very comfy, and the only reason it got worn for barely three years is that I eventually got curves. It was even lacy, an amazing feat for lace-hating me (“Richelieu lace”, instead of being made from thread, it’s holes cut in the fabric with their edges sewn over).
Mom, do I have to dress like a wedding cake?” Cheaper, very comfy, and the only reason it got worn for barely three years is that I eventually got curves. It was even lacy, an amazing feat for lace-hating me (“Richelieu lace”, instead of being made from thread, it’s holes cut in the fabric with their edges sewn over).