“I was drunk when I met you and you were drunk when you met him.” -two ladies walking down the street by my house.
Guy on cell phone on Park Avenue: “I’m not spitting up blood anymore, but there’s still all that pus.”
Woman getting off elevator, East 50th: “Well, thank goodness I’m usually unconscious when it happens!”
Two old ladies on a bus in Oxford, England:
“You still got that chest infection, Gladys?”
- “Yes. The doctor’s put me on them anti-garrottics.”
“Is that a dog, or a car alarm?” – Two women who’d come out on their balcony to investigate the noise of what (I thought) was quite clearly a standard cycling car alarm.
"We have two midgets roasting a nun over an open fire." – Overheard in a tacky 50s-style “Polynesian Theme” restaurant, apparently between band members who were making a music video.
Weird guy at work who wears magnetic headband and armbands: “Since we’ve moved to this new building I’ve peed myself two times.”
Shortly after Princess Diana’s death, a NJ Transit bus driver: “Y’know who dey should arrest for killin’ her? Dose damn Pavarottis chasin’ her!”
“I don’t have any kids!!! No, really, I don’t have kids because I’m not a slut.”
:dubious: You callin’ my momma a slut?
I am amazed that no one has linked to this thread before now!
norinew: I came in here to do just that.
A friend of mine habitually says, just as he’s leaving or entering somewhere, “And I was completely naked! I mean, no clothes or anything!”
He times it out so that it sounds to passers-by like the continuation of a somewhat logical conversation.
Yeah, I do stuff like that too. But more like I will see a person about to walk by me wearing, for example, a Dark Side of the Moon T-Shirt, act like I don’t even notice they exist, and then just as they walk by I will hum a few bars of, say, Great Gig in the Sky.
Or I will walk behind somebody just within earshot and riddicule something they are wearing or doing just loud enough to be heard. Works best with people I already know, though.
And then occasionally I wll be in a conversation with a friend and say something at random while people walk by such as “Why yes, I would like to know more about the Catholic church” or “Wow, so you just shot him?”. The intention is to give the totally wrong impression about my friend (victim) to people they might meat in the future, so this works best on campus or at the person’s office building.
Can’t think of many random things I have overheard… the closest would be overhearing a phrase that seems random when uttered by a person walking alone, but is perfectly normal when you notice they have a hands-free wireless phone.
That verb looks incredibly rude.
“Hey baby, I wanna meat you. Tonight.”
Overheard juuust moments ago. My husband is sitting on the sofa watching football, I’m sitting at the computer, it’s a beautiful day, the windows are all open, and our neighbour (who we haven’t met, since we just moved here last week) is outside with her dog. The dog gives three stern barks at a bicyclist. The woman says, in her “talking-to-my-shnookums” voice: “What’s the matter with you? You filthy wittle ass! Yes you are! Who’s mommy’s filthy wittle ass?”
We are still stunned.
I’ve never heard it called that.
Bad grammar unintended, :o but maybe I prefer the accidental meaning. 
My sis ter used to live above a lady who had a small dog. Whenever the dog would start barking, the lady would call out, “Cut the malarky, Misty!”
I was riding my bicycle in an older area of Columbia when I heard the following:
Women’s voice, from within a house, “Honey, please come on in!”
Man on the houses porch: “OK, OK, I’ll be on you in a minute.”
Three guys in suits, looking like junior stockbrokers or something, in New York’s Metropolitan Museum: “I think that the cocaine would probably have been better for him.”
Two young teenage girls, Asian, on the bus:
One girl: “<something in a language I don’t speak>”
Both: <look around for anybody who might understand their secrets>
Other girl: “gabble, gabble”
First girl: “gabble, gabble”
Both: “<giggle and blush>”
Me: “<laugh out loud>”, head for the door, and wave back at their looks of horror that somebody heard them.
“That guy must be an alcoholic - I see him in every bar I go to.”