Band Name: F.T.T.W.(Looks like it stands for “Faster Than The World”, “Found The Truth Within”, or “Follow The Three Way”)
Album: Dirk Sauer(Lame.)
Track Listing:
[ol]
[li]Shumagin Islands(Sounds like a pretty mellow opening track.)[/li][li]Rocket Turbine engines(Awesome! I bet this tune rocks. Or maybe it’s just noise, like Merzbow.)[/li][li]**Schuttberg **(German for “a mound made out of garbage”. That would have been a good album name.)[/li][li]The Smalls Short Film Showcase(Sounds cool. Reminds me of the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players.)[/li][li]2000 NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series(Hmm. That is not a cool name for a song.)[/li][li]Ligamentum venosum(Prog rock!)[/li][li]Quique Setién(Bleh.)[/li][li]Bill Holm (poet)(I think “Bill Holm (art historian)” would have been better.)[/li][li]Commodore 64(That is really cool, although I hope it doesn’t sample that stupid “I adore my 64…” jingle.)[/li][li]F.I.R.-Fairyland in Reality(Sounds dumb.)[/li][li]George Colman the Elder(Might be interesting if it’s biographical.)[/li][li]Sergei Chetverikov(OK, you can take it too far with the biographical songs though.)[/li][li]Arkansas Gazette(Sounds cool, probably kind of Alt-Country.)[/li][li]Cape Hooker (Antarctica)(I really like this.)[/li][li]The Judgement of Salomon (Giorgione)(This is probably a 15-minute art-rock opus.)[/li][/ol]
RPM Number-one Hits of 1966 [This must be a medley]
Trogen, Bavaria
Second Genesis
1988 NBA Finals
Kloof Country Club
Žlkovce
Hmm. 1,2,4,5, and 6 are names or titles of people, and 7, 8, 11 and 15 and the band name are small towns around the world. I think we need to be a little more creative. On the other hand, I see big pop-rock hits with “Interstate 270” and “Second Genesis.”
Pet Sounds 40th Anniversary CD+DVD (Limited Edition Fuzzy Package)**
Scoop 3***
Diplomatic missions of Cambodia
Occult Crimes Taskforce
Tropical Islands
Gulabi bagh
The Hodges Brothers
Razor shell
Dinio
Kevin Dean (musician)
Moiry, Switzerland
Radomyshl Synagogue
The Human League discography****
Julio Carreras (h)
*Rana celebensis: a species of frog in the Ranidae family. It is endemic to Indonesia. Its natural habitats are subtropical or tropical moist lowland forests, rivers, freshwater marshes, and heavily degraded former forest. It is threatened by habitat loss. (I’m guessing my band is a prog-rock / hippie jam band.)
**More evidence that my band leans towards neo-hippie 60s-style psychedelia
***“Scoop 3 is the third in a series of albums by Pete Townshend partly containing demos and alternate versions of previous Who songs.” (Wiki totally has me pegged.)
Band Name: 1965 VFL Season (I don’t even know what sport that is)
Album name: Nisim Aloni (I kinda like that)
1)Legends of Terris
2)Interstate 526
3)Anthosoulos Costaki
4)Louis Menges
5)Crois-en-Ternois
6)Spartacist
7)Henry Ward Beecher
8)Quinlan Road
9)The Nutty Squirrels Go Bird Watching (My favorite)
10)Cane Ridge, Kentucky
11)Zafar Chaudhry
12)KOTI
13) Horst Wohlers
14)No wandering domain theorem
15)Nury Turkel
Band name: Kulpenberg. Move the fuck over, Rammstein.
Album: Larne Grammar School. Just cryptic enough to be interesting.
Tracks:
Getting Out Of Nowhere - itself an album by Norwegian band Euroboys.
Cuddington, Buckinghamshire - the place where I fucked my first girl under an oak tree in a pasture. Her mother caught us in the act. What did she say, you ask? “Baaaaaaahhhhhhh.”
Kardinya, Western Australia - dig the geographical theme! The first track kicks it off very nicely.
SMS Friedrich der Grosse (1911) - a German battleship of World War I, which is in keeping with the band name.
Understanding Consciousness - after our trek round the globe and our foray into the world of naval combat, it’s time for some self-reflection.
Insulin-like growth factor 2 receptor - I’m thinking this one will be an instrumental with lots of pitch-bending synths.
Crime Library - our tribute to John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Charles Manson.
AFL playoffs, 1968 - a scathing commentary on the absurdity of sports, featuring heavy distortion.
Liver dialysis - I’m thinking a lot of death-metal type riffs, and some growling. In German.
The Bagthorpe Saga - this will be a 15-minute long epic track featuring many time-signature and key changes, narrating the incredible story of Bagthorpe and the never-ending trail of blood and semen he leaves in his wake.
Black-faced Rufous-warbler - an unbelievably foul and racist mockery of African-American music, sure to garner plenty of criticism.
Turn (policy debate) - another instrumental, this one a “duel” between bass and guitar, ending in an ear-splitting cacophony. Featuring Boyd Rice as a guest artist.
Statutory Undertakers - could I POSSIBLY have hoped for a more badass song title?
Ryan (surname) - a historical examination of the Gaelic origins of said surname, with emphasis on bloody battles.
Liberal-Unionist - an advocation of the violent overthrow of the government and the installation of a fascist dictatorship.
Seriously, throw all your other albums away. Smash them into pieces, then throw them into the toilet, then piss on them, then pour lighter fluid on them, set them on fire and BURN DOWN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE, because Larne Grammar School is here to rock your pathetic balls off.
Band Name: Feldkirchen bei Mattighofen
Album Name: George Whitefield Chadwick
Track 1: The Johnstons
Track 2: Shaan (Actor)
Track 3: KDNW
Track 4: Type 0 String Theory
Track 5: SMS König Albert
Track 6: Cuba men’s national volleyball team
Track 7: Hobgoblin (comics)
Track 8: Scottie Thompson
Track 9: Government of Texas
Track 10: Dedicated to the One I Love
Track 11: Load Pull
Track 12: Gowin Knight
Track 13: Roger G. Stoll, Ph.D.
Track 14: Sighsten Herrgård
Track 15: Vladimir Kim
Band Name: People’s Commune
Album Name: California Slender Salamander
Track 1: United States Senior Men’s Amateur Golf Championship
Track 2: List of people from Uttar Pradesh
Track 3: Canal Zone
Track 4: Potamonautes unisulcatus
Track 5: Takatsukasa Kanetada
Track 6: Mohammed Taheri
Track 7: My Life My Love - Boku no Yume - Watashi no Negai
Track 8: Kitabayama Hidetoshi
Track 9: Mount Waverley railway station, Melbourne
Track 10: Lucien Callamand
Track 11: Xuxa Singlegraphy
Track 12: No. 34 Squadron RAAF
Track 13: Murcian Spanish
Track 14: Os Grandes Portugueses
Track 15: Mike Edwards (journalist)
Band name: Ira Sprague Bowen (he was a professor of physics – I imagine some disgruntled students analogous to those who immortalized Leonard Skinner)
Album: Harold Horder (an Australian rugby player)
Track 1: Daughters 7" EP (Pink Tour Release) – ironically, an actual album
Track 2: Taunusbahn (Hochtaunus) – a German train route
Track 3: Vladislav Kotromanić – regent of Medieval Bosnia and Herzegovina six centuries before Franz Ferdinand was killed in Sarajevo
Track 4: Anna Lee Walters (American Indian author from Oklahoma)
Track 5: List of highways numbered 150 – reminds me of the line about a singer who’s so great he can mesmerize an audience by singing the phone book
Track 6: Mastodonsaurus – obviously dinosaur rock!
Track 7: Ms. Dewey – Microsoft commercials rip off songs, so why not a tune that steals the name of a Microsoft marketing campaign?
Track 8: Great Salkeld – a small English village in which life doubtless seems idyllic, but is actually rife with dark secrets
Track 9: Khanka spiny bitterling – an Asian fish which actually sounds like a band name
Track 10: Delerium Records – probably a rant about the label’s refusal to sign Ira Sprague Bowen
Track 11: A89 road – a Scottish route this well-traveled band must have taken after riding the Taunusbahn and the 150
Track 12: Oak Tree Stakes – a British horse race these blokes attended after getting off the A89
Track 13: The Saga of Crystar – something for the comic-book and action-figure geeks!
Track 14: Maera (hound) – a canine character from Greek mythology
Track 15: Tarnówka – the European journey ends in a Polish village
Band Name: Malmö University Album Name: Mystery Fun House (not a bad name for an album).
Muscle Museum (evidently, an actual song, so I guess this is a cover version).
Frank Leech (an artist, but my song would be about an actual leech: “Frank Leech met Beverly while sucking on a cow. They fell in love and married and suck on people now.”).
Andy May (a sportscaster. Sample lyrics: “Allan won’t, but Andy may.”)
Heartland Community College (“I’m going down to the Heartland, get my Associate Degree.”)
Jason Tait (a rock drummer. “Jason was a drummer, a wizard with the sticks. Until he went to New York town and jabbed his final fix.”)
The Spew (“Watch out for the spew after eating beef stew. The vomit will harm if it gets onto you.”
Guy Hocquenghem (“Just another guy, no one else like him, but what that hell can rhyme with a name like Hocquenghem?”_
1628 in art (“I want to paint in the time it was quaint, but but alas it’s my fate – not goo art in '28.”)
Snow algae (a ballad, of course: “Our love will grow, as the red and yellow snow. The plants in the cold will help it unfold.”)
K Raveendran (“K Raveendran is quite the man, about the Persian Gulf; when his newspaper wanted a column, he wrote it all himself.”)
Tipsy (another cover of a song by J-Kwon).
Crazyman (“Who’s the superhero who build on flights of rage? Crazyman! Crazyman! Put him in a cage.”)
101st Division (“100 mathematical problems cloud my field of vision. The teacher’s nuts; I’ll have her guts if there a 101st division!”)
Acton, Wrexham (“Acton, Wrexaham? Damn near killed 'em!”)
Battle Cry of Freedom (Another cover – “we’ll rally round the flag, boys. Shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom.”)
Band Name: Malmö University Album Name: Mystery Fun House (not a bad name for an album).
Muscle Museum (evidently, an actual song, so I guess this is a cover version).
Frank Leech (an artist, but my song would be about an actual leech: “Frank Leech met Beverly while sucking on a cow. They fell in love and married and suck on people now.”).
Andy May (a sportscaster. Sample lyrics: “Allan won’t, but Andy may.”)
Heartland Community College (“I’m going down to the Heartland, get my Associate Degree.”)
Jason Tait (a rock drummer. “Jason was a drummer, a wizard with the sticks. Until he went to New York town and jabbed his final fix.”)
The Spew (“Watch out for the spew after eating beef stew. The vomit will harm if it gets onto you.”
Guy Hocquenghem (“Just another guy, no one else like him, but what that hell can rhyme with a name like Hocquenghem?”)
1628 in art (“I want to paint in the time it was quaint, but but alas it’s my fate – not good art in '28.”)
Snow algae (a ballad, of course: “Our love will grow, as the red and yellow snow. The plants in the cold will help it unfold.”)
K Raveendran (“K Raveendran is quite the man, about the Persian Gulf; when his newspaper wanted a column, he wrote it all himself.”)
Tipsy (another cover of a song by J-Kwon).
Crazyman (“Who’s the superhero who build on flights of rage? Crazyman! Crazyman! Put him in a cage.”)
101st Division (“100 mathematical problems cloud my field of vision. The teacher’s nuts; I’ll have her guts if there a 101st division!”)
Acton, Wrexham (“Acton, Wrexham? Damn near killed 'em!”)
Battle Cry of Freedom (Another cover – “we’ll rally round the flag, boys. Shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom.”)
The Rodings
Britain’s Worst Celebrity Driver
III Corps
Isabella,Missouri
Timagenes
Ridgeway Studios
Josef Lexer
Clairvaux Mackillop College
Cork County
Karl-Heinz Metzner
Thomas Ball
Cello Concerto No. 1 (Saint-Saëns)
George Anthony Barber
7th Central Committee of the Communist Party of China
Marginal revenue
