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I think I have an above average failed poop rate. I’m not really familiar with other people’s failed poops, so i’m just assuming. Let me give you an example of a failed poop. It usually happens like this: I eat to much at work, usually during my 1st break or at lunch time. I get a stomach ache, and a slight sensation of a impending poop. I go sit on the toilet, blow some air, usually sit there for a couple minutes, then finally I’m forced to concede. I venture I average 1 failed poop a day. That’s just a rough estimate though.
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50 cent should change his name to 2 bits, err It’s 4 bits, huh?
2 bits is a quarter. I don’t feel like looking it up, you get the point. -
The worst pain I ever experienced was when I thought it a good idea to jump down a flight of stairs, just to see if I could make it. I made it, but when I landed I twisted my ankle. I couldn’t see, but I’m pretty certain that my ankle, and my foot were perpendicular. At first, I couldn’t put any pressure on ankle. I just laid on the pavement for a couple minutes. Then slowly my ankle hurt less and less, and within a half hour I could walk normally. It was strange. I actually broke my finger, and dislocated it, and it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as my ankle twist.
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Earlier I was wondering about the world’s longest pee, which then lead to me thinking about the world fastest pee’er. Which lead to me thinking about how someone needs to create a urinal with a radar gun. So guys can see how fast they are peeing. How cool would that be? Preferably in MPH. And then I wondered if one could increase his peeing speed. I would think one could, but I’m really not sure.
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Edward Norton is actually a Jr… I lost an argument with a friend over this. We were arguing one night. He said it said Edward Norton Jr. on his Fight Club DVD. I disagreed. I claimed he was stupid and was thinking of Ken Norton Jr. So the next day I look at the cover of the Fight Club DVD, and it says “Edward Norton”, no Jr. So of course, I call my friend, he doesn’t anwser, so I leave a message professing my superiority.
Then I get to work today and there’s a e-mail waiting for me. This email includes Edward Norton’s biography where it state’s that Edward Norton is infact a Jr.
Pisses me off. I know he just got lucky. -
I never knew how crazy girls were. But, now that I live with 2 of them, I do. You see, I’m 21, and I live with 2 girls who are 25. I’ve come to realize that they are insane. I’ve also come to realize it doesn’t matter how many nice things that I do for them, the one time I don’t feel like doing something for them, I am mean. And they are never going to anything for me ever again. Oh yeah, and if they ever cook a meal for me, apparently, I owe them for atleast a month. I’m considering going on strike, and no longer being a civil, decent roommate.
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Yesterday, in a conversation about gay sex, I said the word “disgusting”. And of course, a gay guy who I work with, who I am friends with, overhears and gets offended. He says " I shouldn’t say things like that, it’s offensive". And “I shouldn’t criticize or judge other people because everybody’s different, and everybody likes different things”. So, I left it alone. Then, later that day at lunchtime. I’m eating a huge plate of ribs, smothered in BBQ sauce, and he says “that’s gross”. I fire back " What? It is my preference to eat messy food. How’s what you said any different than what I said earlier." He basically said something like there two totally different things, and he’s right, and I’m wrong.
But, I say how? It’s the same thing. I understand he’s more sensitive about his preference, but I still think I’m right. -
I’m going to drink some beer after work today.
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I love foreign girls.
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I really want 10, but I can’t think of anything else. OK. Here’s 10- I predict the Giants will win the World Series.
that’s all
-Shaggarito-
