1. I think I have an above average failed poop rate. I’m not really familiar with other people’s failed poops, so i’m just assuming. Let me give you an example of a failed poop. It usually happens like this: I eat to much at work, usually during my 1st break or at lunch time. I get a stomach ache, and a slight sensation of a impending poop. I go sit on the toilet, blow some air, usually sit there for a couple minutes, then finally I’m forced to concede. I venture I average 1 failed poop a day. That’s just a rough estimate though.

  2. 50 cent should change his name to 2 bits, err It’s 4 bits, huh?
    2 bits is a quarter. I don’t feel like looking it up, you get the point.

  3. The worst pain I ever experienced was when I thought it a good idea to jump down a flight of stairs, just to see if I could make it. I made it, but when I landed I twisted my ankle. I couldn’t see, but I’m pretty certain that my ankle, and my foot were perpendicular. At first, I couldn’t put any pressure on ankle. I just laid on the pavement for a couple minutes. Then slowly my ankle hurt less and less, and within a half hour I could walk normally. It was strange. I actually broke my finger, and dislocated it, and it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as my ankle twist.

  4. Earlier I was wondering about the world’s longest pee, which then lead to me thinking about the world fastest pee’er. Which lead to me thinking about how someone needs to create a urinal with a radar gun. So guys can see how fast they are peeing. How cool would that be? Preferably in MPH. And then I wondered if one could increase his peeing speed. I would think one could, but I’m really not sure.

  5. Edward Norton is actually a Jr… I lost an argument with a friend over this. We were arguing one night. He said it said Edward Norton Jr. on his Fight Club DVD. I disagreed. I claimed he was stupid and was thinking of Ken Norton Jr. So the next day I look at the cover of the Fight Club DVD, and it says “Edward Norton”, no Jr. So of course, I call my friend, he doesn’t anwser, so I leave a message professing my superiority.
    Then I get to work today and there’s a e-mail waiting for me. This email includes Edward Norton’s biography where it state’s that Edward Norton is infact a Jr.
    Pisses me off. I know he just got lucky.

  6. I never knew how crazy girls were. But, now that I live with 2 of them, I do. You see, I’m 21, and I live with 2 girls who are 25. I’ve come to realize that they are insane. I’ve also come to realize it doesn’t matter how many nice things that I do for them, the one time I don’t feel like doing something for them, I am mean. And they are never going to anything for me ever again. Oh yeah, and if they ever cook a meal for me, apparently, I owe them for atleast a month. I’m considering going on strike, and no longer being a civil, decent roommate.

  7. Yesterday, in a conversation about gay sex, I said the word “disgusting”. And of course, a gay guy who I work with, who I am friends with, overhears and gets offended. He says " I shouldn’t say things like that, it’s offensive". And “I shouldn’t criticize or judge other people because everybody’s different, and everybody likes different things”. So, I left it alone. Then, later that day at lunchtime. I’m eating a huge plate of ribs, smothered in BBQ sauce, and he says “that’s gross”. I fire back " What? It is my preference to eat messy food. How’s what you said any different than what I said earlier." He basically said something like there two totally different things, and he’s right, and I’m wrong.
    But, I say how? It’s the same thing. I understand he’s more sensitive about his preference, but I still think I’m right.

  8. I’m going to drink some beer after work today.

  9. I love foreign girls.

  10. I really want 10, but I can’t think of anything else. OK. Here’s 10- I predict the Giants will win the World Series.

that’s all



Both my right thumbnail and my left big toenail are all black, but for different reasons. The thumb injury happened while playing basketball, when I tried to reach in to block a pass to the guy I was covering. The toe injury happened while hiking to a local swimming hole, when we came across a clear view of naked people, one of whom was a very attractive young woman. As we headed up the trail, I kept turning my head to check out the naked people some more, and kicked a rock really hard (I was wearing Birkenstocks, so it was all toe). My wife thinks its really funny that I hurt myself because I was trying to gawk at naked people.

I feel no obligation to say ten random things.

I wish I was going drinking after work today, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Right now I’m listening to Erasure, which always makes me want to drink and act rowdy.

On the subject of failed poops, I’ve been there. I don’t think I average nearly one per day, but I’ve certainly experienced them.

I just found out my baby brother is 6 foot 2. That’s 188 cm. I am tripped out now.

This is why women date older men.

My spoon’s too big.

The Giants will win the World Series and Kuala Lumpur lies at the confluence of the Klang and the Gombak rivers.

I’m going to the zoo on Sunday.

And since my above posting about failed poops, I’ve had two.

Go figure.

“Hear I sit all brokenhearted
Tried to shit but only farted…” :slight_smile: