Rant (a really pissy day)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Just a rant here…about my pissy day.
Feel free to ignore it if you wish.

First, my truck is in the shop so I had to drop my hubby off at work. I went to Barnes and Noble to have a Starbucks cappacino and browse the books. So far, so good. I call my hubby at the office to see if he needs the car- he says “well, you’ve got your day cut out for you- Mom (his mom) is on her way to the emergency room- she is having trouble with her eye” (long story)
Basically, whenever she doesn’t feel like she’s getting enough attention, she calls an ambulance to get her in her apartment complex- stretcher and all. (couple of times a month) She enjoys the attention, etc. (uses it like a cab service) Don’t ask…

So I head over to the ER (hubby can’t go)…I get her, bring her to the eye doctor. We wait. And wait. And wait some more. Finally, TWO HOURS into our wait, they call her in. Now, I love my mother in law, but she just sat there, talking constantly at me the whole time. I had a headache and just wanted to sit quietly, but she had to go on and on about family business LOUDLY so the whole waiting room could hear for the whole two hours. Then she gets annoyed because I don’t want to go in the room with her (I get totally grossed out about eyes…Besides, I got the play by play in great detail later).

So we head for home- the doc gives her a prescription for eye drops. (She lives about 40 minutes away). She wants to wait in the car while I go in the drugstore (she only lives about 1/4 mile away…didn’t want me to drop her off). I go in, give them the script. I wait…and wait…and frigging WAIT!! FINALLY (and this is a really small drug store…they might do ten prescriptions an hour, but I doubt it) I ask how much longer it will be. The bitch behind the counter says “yours is next- these things take a while, you know!” (NEXT?? there was no one in the pharmacy but me)

It was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. I look at this rude bitch, and I said “As a matter of fact, I know exactly how long it takes. I worked in a pharmacy for 7 FRIGGIN’ YEARS. I know it does not take half an hour to put a label on a bottle of eye drops.”
(A retail pharmacy normally does the scripts first for the people who are waiting)

(I wanted to add that they worked like old people fuck- slow and sloppy- but I resisted…it wasn’t easy)

So (funny how it didn’t take too long after that) I get the drops, pay and go out to the car. MIL is bitchy now because she had to wait (I offered to drive her home first). I finally dropped her off and practically peeled out leaving I was so aggrivated (I had not eaten since about 9am- this was at about 2:30). I was starving, (I also have blood sugar trouble and was getting lightheaded from it), pissy and just plain mad at the world. So that’s my rant- thanks for reading- have a nice day.

On the upside, I’ve eaten, feel a bit better and am getting over it.
Anyone else have a shitty day?

PS- I’m not a whiner- I rarely if ever have really bad days that I can’t cope with. This just happened to be one.

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

2

Flora, I’m sorry you had a bad day. Did you at least get your fancy schmancy coffee?

It sounds like your MIL is awfully lonely and is a bit of a hypocondriac (sp?) I’m sensing, through my physic brain waves, that there is no Father-in-law in the picture and that she leans awfully heavily on you and your husband for every nit picking detail.

How far off the mark am I?

3

Shirley- what’s that talent you have…ESP or PMS? lol! That was pretty good…like a free psychic friend. You are correct- no FIL, we’re it. We spend as much time with her as we can, but there’s only so much we can do! I feel bad for her, but she just loves to have the ambulance come flying up in front of her apartment, hauling in all the equipment…gets her neighbors all in a worried tizzy…Then she puts on the “mean old lady act” (which I sunk to this afternoon). She’s rude to everyone who’s trying to help her- it’s just embarrasing and hard to deal with without my husband. I think I’m over it now, though. 'Till next time.

Oh, I did get my fancy schmancy coffee…Mmmmmm, Starbucks (we just got one). I also used Barnes and Noble as my personal library for about an hour before all this happened, so the whole day wasn’t shot.
:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
(getting over it)

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

4

You’re welcome.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

[sarcasm + joking]

Ahhh … nothing like reading about somebody else’s misery to make you feel better! :wink:

[/sarcasm + joking]

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

And looking through my handy dandy nifty quote file …

“Finish each day and be done with it … tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely” - Emerson

5

“…worked like old people f*ck, slow and sloppy…”

You had me in complete agreement with your misery until I hit that line and started rolling around on my carpet laughing. Otherwise you have my complete sympathy.

6

Funee- in retrospect, I only wish I actually screamed that right to them…unfortunately there wasn’t even anyone else around to appreciate it. Thanks for laughing! I love that phrase…

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

7

Zette-
I would say hubby owes you a foot rub a bubble bath and a nice glass of wine after babysitting his mom all day!
:slight_smile:

8

Zette – are you married to my brother?

Your MIL sounds just like my mom – especially the part about making conversation so everyone can hear.

My mom makes my brother pick her up and take her to the pharmacy when she could get her scrips delivered! It’s a 90 minute drive in heavy traffic, one way, for him.

Sounds like a truly rotten day for you – but give yourself a pat on the back for handling it so well.

9

Aunti Pam,
that’s probobly the worst part. Sitting there in the waiting room FOREVER and she’s going on and on about my sister in law (who is a welfare lifer) who is trying to move to a different public housing unit because hers is all dirty and full of bugs, and her kids don’t have any school clothes and on and on and on…People just put down their magazines and listen- it’s like being on stage on Jenny Jones or something.
Oh, and for those who probobly think I’m a bitch- we spend a lot of time with her outside of doctor visits. Take her grocery shopping, to the movies, to dinner, etc. So it’s not like she spends months (or even weeks)alone. Oh, well. At least I know I’m not alone :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

10

Zette, you poor thing. Ugh, I dread the day when my MIL gets that age. My sister-in-law and I keep having this discussion like the Life cereal ad “She’s not going to live with me, she’ll have to live with you.” “I’M not going to take her, you’ll have to do it” on and on. ::hug of empathy!::

11

Umm, Shirl, that was Zette, not me. I don’t have a husband, a mother-in-law or a truck. Though I do sympathize with poor Zette and am gladder than ever that I don’t have a husband, a mother-in-law or a truck.

12

Zette, your MIL sounds like what my mother will turn into in 10 years or so. The difference is

[list type=1]
[li]we live 300+ miles away, and[/li][li]my mother is (has been for the last year or so) in a passive-agressive snit - there’s no other word for it - and has declared that she would just go off and die before asking ME for help.[/li][/list]

I know you’ve probably already tried these, but is there any way to get her out of the house, into the community? I mean church, senior center, volunteering at a soup kitchen, that kind of thing.

I’ve tried to take this advice myself, but every time I’ve suggested these things to my mother, she’s acted as though I made some kind of improper suggestion.

Parents! I guess this is what we get for all the times we were obnoxious brats! :wink:

The Cat In The Hat

13

Aargh! How do you get the list code to work properly?!

The Cat In The Hat

14

Flora, sorry about the mixup of names. Sometimes the Moron Gene in me works over time.

Zette, one thing I learned in Marriage class that we had to take before getting married is that there are three types of people, generally, in this world. I forget the exact titles/names given, so I shall make it up.

  1. Spineless Volunteers - someone who is constantly taken advantage of or cannot say no to someone else.

  2. *The Negotiator - Some one who does not anger quickly and negotiates the situation without stepping on any toes.

3)Self Sufficents - Some one who does not ask anyone for anything and does not allow anyone to take advantage of them.
*This is the only correct name.

The Spineless Volunteers, the instructor told us, were the ones that are constantly bothered by their parents and constantly running to their parents with their problems/psuedo crisis. Neither has cut the proverbial umbilical cord. The Negotiators are used in real crisis situations and the Self Sufficents are left alone because the parents know that they cannot take advantage or guilt these kids/couple into anything. They help out only when the situation is dire.

Your MIL is taking advantage of you and her son because she knows she cannot rely on her daughter. It is possibly a classic over correction, but your husband is trying to make up for the screw up your sister in law is by answering his mother’s beck and call. It sounds like she is not totally independant any more and it is great that you take her shopping and errand running. Alot of older people are viewed as invisible after they cannot drive anymore. However, constantly running to her side has created her to have a power over not only him but you and until she croaks, it will only get worse.

What’s going to happen when you have kids? You will really think twice about dragging Jr. to the emergency room with all those nasty germs and bleeding people. Remember how bored you were during a two hour wait? Think of how boring it will be for a toddler or preschooler.

The next time she has a case of vapors and calls the ambulance to take her to the hospital, DON’T go immediately. Remember, she is in good hands with professionals. If she dies on them, she would have died on you. Let her sit there by her lonesome on a gurney in those crummy gowns with no one to whine too. Let her sit there for a couple of hours. Maybe be late to pick her up. Yeah, she’ll get mad, she might give you the silent treatment, but all you have to say is, " Mom, you do this so often, it’s like you are crying wolf. At the rate you are going you are going to out live us both. You may have nothing better to do than listen to your cataracts harden, but WE’VE got jobs to hold down…etc."

Your MIL sounds terribly lonely. She needs some kind of hobby or interaction with other people her age. Cards, painting, knitting…whatever it is that old people do. If she lives in a seniors building they may have an activity center or one may be near by.

Maybe you could talk to one of her neighbors and say, " Mom doesn’t want anyone to know this so this is all hush hush, but she is really lonely and wishes someone to talk to/play cards with/whatever, but she is too shy to make friends herself…maybe you can help…"

Then set aside specific guidelines of when you will visit her and do her errands. Mondays/Wednesday - Errands, Fridays or Sundays Socializing…something like that. You don’t have to say on this day and this day we will shuttle you to and fro, you can do it more gently, " On Monday I can take you shopping, but tuesday and Wednesday we are busy with… How does Thursday sound…"

It will take about two weeks to get into a pattern. Old folks might be out of the loop, but they are pretty sharp about things like that. If you don’t get into control of your lives, she will.

15

Written like a true Negotiator, Shirl . . .

16

An interesting analysis- meant well, I know, but not accurate in my case.

Unfortunately, my mother in law is all alone- no husband, doesn’t drive. She is also very antisocial- no one in the apartment complex likes being around her because basically she’s mean to people. (Not to us, though- very rare that she isn’t great to us). She can’t join a club or go places because
A- she can’t get there
B- she is so snarky to people that they don’t want her around. Period.

She doesn’t make unbelievable demands on us, it’s just that sometimes the days with her are really hard, that’s all. We take her shopping every other week for groceries, and out for dinner now and again- to the movies when something comes out that she wants to see. My husband was estranged from his family for quite some time, so he feels (understandably) responsible for her welfare and happiness. Unfortunate? Yes. Unbearable? Sometimes. Fixable? Probobly not.
We have started waiting for a while before coming to the ER when she goes- it is normally not for nothing- she, unfortunately has a lot of legitamate health problems. I happen to have dealt with the last two emergencies because my husband can’t get away from work during the day, and I don’t work often. So now it’s my “job”.
Anyway, I was just ranting and I appreciate everyones sympathy/advice. And you were all right- today is a better day :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

17

You know, my spidey sense told me to put in a third clause of “Is she an unbearable grouch” but thought, nah, it would make me seem like a rambling fool.

Zette, you are a hero to put up with this situation. Not a lot of daughter in laws would go the extra step for a hard to be around person. It does show that even though she may be a pill to live with, she did raise her son right and he will treat you well in your marriage.

My mom has a best friend like your mother in law. Never married, former school teacher, chain smoker, had ulcers her whole life. Had a massive stroke a couple years ago and is paralyzed on her left side. Refused and refuses to do therapy. Been in a home since 1993. Was declared incompetant by her family (after three years and countless pleadings by my mom) and lost her few posessions of a condo/car and belongings because she is so irrational. My mother goes to visit her once a week out of duty to their 66 year friendship, but no one else in this womans family does because she is so crabby. Everytime I get into a funk and bitch alot, I think I’m going to end up just like Yvonne.

Zette, don’t take your MIL’s antisocial ways personally. She is mad at herself for something that will probably never be defined and takes it out on other people. We all do it from time to time, but some people live like this every waking moment of their day. Maybe you should keep a stack of magazines in your car or a book handy for those dreadfully dull moments in the waiting room. Thus, giving you entertainment and a reason to shut out the whining.

18

Oh, and another ramble since we are on the subject of old people.

I’ve been surrounded by old folks my entire life. I am more comfortable with the depressionary born people ( My mom was born in '26) than you whippersnappers born in the sixties or later folks.( I was born in '66)It’s the work ethic and waste not practicality that I like, which seems to be nonexistant in the Gen X 's ( which I don’t consider myself, I’m a caboose baby boomer, thank you very much. Sit up straight while you are at it :slight_smile:

As people get older, they usually morph into:

Quietly devouts - prays alot, goes to church, very socially active in their religion because they know their time is coming soon. They are quiet about their faith, knowing how obnoxious bible thumpers are. They are into blessing you everytime they see you. Which is not a bad thing because it means they love you so much.

Grumps ALot - This is especially true for those who have had a hard life whether do to constant medical problems or family woes that would fill up a soap opera. They will get grumpier as they get older, but they are very pragmatic because they’ve been through everything and if you can deal with the bitching, you can learn alot from them. These also tend to have the martyr complex ( Oh, woe is me…)

Perky Grandma’s - We all love these types. Chipper and happy despite health problems. There are simply not enough of them to go around and they make you think that being 85 is a treat.

Deaf as a doorknob, but happy - Everyone knows one of these as well. Can’t hear a damn thing, but sitting there with a happy little grin on his face, just happy as hell to be above ground and eating mushy food.

I honestly think that as we age we lose some chemical in our heads that control the happy factor, reducing many to Oscar Madison grouch level as we age. Maybe somebody out there with too much college and little letters behind their last name can put their two bits in on this theory .

That’s enough for now, please resume your lives in your normal mundane and pointless fashion.

19

From the handy dandy nifty saying file …

Another good saying for when you have had a bad day:

“One should count each day a seperate life.” - Seneca

It’s bernard, just under new management