Ranters Play in the Pit -- I think it's for the Month of July

The BBQ Pit
1

(Note: I realize it’s still June for another 1:45, but I’ve got to go to bed.)

With apologies to Robert Lamm:

*Ranters play in the Pit, I think it’s for the month of July
Ranters play in the Pit, this thread is for the month of July
Dopers ranting, trolls responding:
“Who pissed in your ice cream?
Put your big boy pants on!”
Hey, come party in our rant-fest, can you dig it?
Yes, you can! And there’s no need to wait a long time –
to rant today!

Every day in the Pit, Dopers let their frustrations fly
Every day in the Pit, this is what we do to get by
People swearing, really cursing with vituperation
(Some of us might scream)
Will these tirades change the world
Or make much difference? No, they won’t;
But they can still be quite cathartic, so rant away!

Slow-burnin’ hatred, You should get it off your chest
Out there, it clears the air (and that’s all for the best)
Listen Dopers, if you’ve been crossed
All is not lost, whoa, no -*

Okay, that’s enough of that, although if anyone wants to jump in with a final verse, I’m good with it.

My rant to open the season for July mini-rants: My niece announced early this month that she and her fiance couldn’t wait for his discharge from the Marines; they had eloped a few weeks previously, and had been keeping it on the D/L (at least wrt social media). That’s not the problem, though.

She is currently living in Arizona; he still has a few more months at Camp Pendleton before he can join her in their home. That’s also not the problem.

Yesterday, she evidently decided to come out as married on Facebook. Still not t he problem, but we are closing in on it.

She announced herself as the “Proud Wife of an Oath Keeper”. :smack: The only silver lining is that he’s going to be a civilian before too long; still, it’s disheartening to learn that I’ve got an in-law who’s a member of a hate group. :mad: I can only hope that one day it occurs to him that one of the oaths he is supposedly keeping was to obey the orders given to him by the President of the United States (and the officers appointed above him), and that he DIDN’T take one to interpret the Constitution of the United States, which he swore to protect and defend.

2

Hah! I like this month’s tune. Fuuuuhhhhccckkk, it’s freakin July already? I have new duties at work that make my end-of-month/beginning-of-month pretty busy, and it’s a short week this week. Not super thrilled, kinda cramping my laid back style. Like I may have to start getting up before noon.

I had to look up Oath Keepers. Not sure what to make of it.

3

This could probably go in the work rants thread but this should suffice:

A hearty triple fuck you, my worthless prick-of-a-boss, for thinking I would take your bullshit bullying and harassment lying down.

A double fuck you to his boss for ignoring the ongoing problems with this asshole that have caused massive issues with our work and led to the resignation of at least one staff member.

A minor fuck you to the HR person who tried to turn this around and make me the issue.

Here’s the cherry on top of this fuck-you-sundae. I’ve been documenting everything! Days, times, witnesses, who said what and to whom.

And I’ve got a fantastic union rep. who now has copy of everything.

I hope you enjoy the reaming out that is headed your way you useless bunch of oxygen thieves.

4

I suppose the storms last night were rather spectacular. We had tornado warnings across the area for some parts. We didn’t wake up and I’m glad nothing more violent than some strong straight line winds occurred. Unfortunately, that wind knocked out power to my apartment. Yesterday, I spent all day at work in a building with giant windows, no blinds and no air conditioning. I’m hot. And that makes me miserable. In fact, right now, I’m sitting in that hot building waiting for the refreshing sound of the air conditioner compressors firing up. I’m worried the electrician won’t be able to fix them. Gah! I’m a delicate flower and I wilt in the heat.

5

One of these months, we need a thread titled “Ranter’s Delight”. You know,

A said a bitch, moan
Bitchin’ to the bitchin’
The bitch, bitch and moan

6

I somehow missed the memo that it’s Stick-Your-Head-Up-Your-Ass-and-Drive-to-Work Day.

Though I’m not a participant I was allowed to join the festivities on the highway this morning.

7

Thanks, boss. Apparently, due to your inability to plan, I’m going to spend Independence day weekend writing assembly instructions for a bicycle. One that I’ve never seen. BTW, the company I work for doesn’t make bicycles; this is for some sort of manager team-building exercise. Apparently the boss thinks this is somehow going to show off our expertise at writing work instructions. Which it won’t because I don’t know a goddam thing about assembling bicycles. So when these folks fail to put the bike together, they’ll blame the crappy instructions, and, by extension, me.

Sheesh.

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No, dear heart, I did not need to stop and rest “every twenty feet.” I stopped to catch my breath (read: quit gasping for air) three times in the twenty minute walk. Yes, it was less than three quarters of a mile. It was also over 300 feet of vertical climbing.

I do not run two miles a day at home, as you do. This is something you are well aware of. I do not like exercise, a fact you are definitely well aware of as you bitch at me about it. Did you really think I’d walk for two hours straight with a 1,000ft elevation climb?

You do not like the beach, so this vacation we came to the mountains. You are a morning person, so I got up at 5 frickin’ am to watch the sunrise with you. You need strong coffee, so I pour half a mug and add half a mug of milk in order that you can stand drinking it. IOW, I am trying.

*You *were the one who decided I had gone as far as I could on the hike. *You *were the one who didn’t want to go to the local lake marked with ‘easy, mostly flat’ walking trails. Fine. If you know what I can and can’t do, then *you *make the plans.

Gah!

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Bike assembly instructions:

*1. Open the box containing the bicycle parts.

  1. Look for the sheet of assembly instructions. If they are present, proceed to Step 3. Otherwise, continue with step 2a.
    2a. If assembly instructions are missing from the box, logon to the internet
    2b. Using the search engine of your choice, search for the manufacturer’s name, the model number for the bicycle, and the words “Assembly Instructions.”
    2c. Click on the link that contains assembly instructions.
    2d. Select the option “printable version.”
    2e. Print out a copy of the assembly instructions onto a sheet of paper.

  2. Following the instructions on the sheet, assemble bicycle.*
    Okay, you’re done. Go take the rest of the day off.

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Heh. Believe me, I thought about something along those lines, but that’s not what they want. Also, the bike in question doesn’t have the assembly instructions on-line, and if they did, they’d be in French, or Bangladeshi, or something.

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Being someone who also has no idea how to put a bike together, I would still totally knick instructions from somewhere online. Put my own special brand on it, and be done with the damn thing. People at work always come to me for information. 85% of the time I just look shit up.

I would also title the instructions, “My Best Guess On How To Assemble A Bicycle, By Someone Who Doesn’t Know.” And smatter little gems about best guesses among the lines.

Yeah, you probably can’t do any of that, either, but it’s fun to think about.

12

E-how on how to assemble a bicycle.

C&P the individual steps, and go set off a firecracker, or something.

13

A rant for my HR department. I am working on a special project that lasted from May to the end of June. I was supposed to be paid for that work during that time period.

The HR dept kept forgetting to submit the paperwork, so instead of finally getting paid on June 27th, now they tell me my full payment will be in the July 11th paycheck.

Which is fine, except we have compulsory retirement savings that was set at 7%. However, they go up to 7.5% as of July 1st. Which means I get to see 0.5% less in the paycheck. Thanks!

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Does the employer put in a matching amount?

If so, make sure to insist that they contribute as much as you contribute. Extra .5% in your retirement bucket for June! Woohoo!

15

I pit people who don’t let other people complain a little. You know the ones…their reply always goes something like, “Oh, you think that’s bad…” or “You shouldn’t complain, it could be much worse…”

It was 108° yesterday. It was hot. I posted on Facebook that it was hot and many of my friends chimed in and posted how they planned to avoid having to be out doing stuff in the heat of the day. We weren’t even really complaining, just sort of grousing a bit that it was hot.

So of course, someone has to come in and say how I should be thankful for my weather because in her area they have flash floods and some kid was swept away down a sewer drain.

Why must it come to, “You don’t get to grumble about your situation because somewhere someone else has it worse,”?

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Jeez, that person’s an idiot anyway. People die from 108 degree heat, too. At least, they do around here. I loved the storms we had here last night, epic rain and lightning. If it was 108 degrees out? I think I would call in sick, stay home with air conditioning that surely wouldn’t be able to keep up, and just cry. You have every right to grouse about it!

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Because people are jerks. And I totally sympathize! I’m sorry the weather is so nasty and I hope it gets better soon.

And upon preview, EVERYTHING SeaDragonTattoo said! :smiley:

18

It could be worse. There was once a kid who went down a sewer drain because a clown told him we all float down here.

19

I’d like to complain. I’ve reached my health insurance out-of-pocket maximum. I was told earlier that they keep track of that for me and I didn’t need to do anything.

What they didn’t tell me was that my local medical group keeps most of my copay numbers, and the two companies hadn’t been communicating until my specialty pharmacy came to me looking for another $1500 for my next four weeks of medicine.

It took me hours of getting the runaround, “it’s the other company’s responsability” and general idiacy before somebody finally offered to call the other group right then while I waited.

20

Potential hurricane for the East Coast this 4th of July holiday.

Frick.