Fuckin’ DVR just died. With the amount of programming I just lost, I’m very tempted to cancel my service altogether.
The deputy police chief and another officer in a local police force were fired (actually the former resigned) after it emerged that they were Klansmen. I should be shocked, but it’s Imperial Polk County. 
The bottom sheet of my nice, soft, high-thread count sheet set now has a long rip in it. 
Ummm, am I the only one who finds the juxtaposition of the two previous posts a little - - I dunno, awkward?
When I told my roommate that it was okay if, while he was out of town, his boyfriend could come in and check on / take care of his cats, I did not mean that he could stay in the apartment for the next 5 days.
Also, I know that with his job, he doesn’t have the traditional 8-6, M-F schedule, but coming home and seeing him completely wasted, to the point where he is having trouble walking and talking, and throwing up at 6:30 pm… Well, the next few days are going to be rough.
I was really looking forward to some privacy, too.
Klansmen only wear low thread count sheets. High thread counts are a papist conspiracy!
Well…
My seventeen year old son has knocked up his sixteen year old girlfriend. She’s planning to keep the baby.
My twenty three year old daughter is doing fine in school, but is deeply unhappy in all other areas of her life. She does not want any advice and is angry at me for presuming to offer any.
My husband and I disagree on how to handle the kids’ problems.
And the air conditioning is broken. It’s ninety-something degrees every day and humid.
So…things have pretty much got to improve, right?
How’s the girlfriend’s family handling it? I assume one of the two will move in with the other’s family?
Calatin, I have tried (halfheartedly, I’ll admit) to speak with her family. They don’t seem interested in talking to us. Meanwhile, the boy and his girlfriend are on-again, off-again. I believe the plan is for everyone to stay put and finish high school, but who knows at this point. My boy will provide child support and seems to imagine himself playing dad, but given their ages that seems unlikely.
Dung Beetle, not to pry, but is there some reason that they aren’t wanting to talk? Just seems odd that parents of dating teenagers (especially in this instance) aren’t wanting to open the lines of communication.
It’s obviously none of my business, but your situation reminds me of a friend’s when I was 16 / 17. She got pregnant and they decided to do an open adoption. She was a part of the child’s life growing up (still is), and while I’m not sure I know how the child refers to her, he knows that my friend is his birth mother. That being said, the adoptive couple are the child’s parents and have all say / authority in parenting decisions.
I have no doubt that you are already aware of this as an option. The only reason I mention it is because, I remember, during the early part of her pregnancy, she was torn because she didn’t want to lose the child (either through closed adoption or abortion), but she also still had a lot of high school remaining, with dreams of college and law school.
It may not work or be desirable for your son and his girlfriend, but it was the best option (both then and now) for my friend and the baby. (Also, though, my friend didn’t have the best support system - raised by a single mother who worked two jobs, a fairly crummy older brother and a younger brother that she helped raise)
The girl lives with her mother, her older sister, and the older sister’s baby. And when I say older sister, I mean like a year older. Their family just went through this same situation last year! So I doubt adoption is the plan.
In talks with my son, I was very pro-abortion. I imagine my son passed my comments along, and maybe that’s why they don’t want to talk to me. However, I always emphasized to the boy that the decision was hers.
I guess I need to run them down and talk to them, but what can I say? “I’m sorry my kid helped ruin your kid’s life. He’ll give you money.” Also, I guess we need a lawyer.
I forgot where you are exactly but I can probably recommend a family law practitioner near you if you like. Or the Bar will do it for you.
Ugh, I hate to hear that.
Yeah, while it seems like it’d be best for the child to be placed into a home that might offer more stability, the older sister’s baby kinda sets a precedent. “Why does this baby stay while we’re giving up the other one?”
Yeah, if they think that you’re gonna push the girlfriend down a flight of stairs or punch her in the belly, their unresponsiveness is understandable. (I know you’d never do anything like that. :P) But, in the same way, at some point, they need to include you in the picture / plan, whatever it may be. I doubt they’d be receptive to it, but you might want to stress how difficult life will be for all involved (girlfriend, girlfriend’s family, and the baby itself) if they try to raise the kid themselves. For all intents and purposes, right now the girlfriend’s mother is raising four children.
It just sounds like this is going to be a rough time for all involved. My thoughts are with you.
Thanks for the link, RNATB, that’s very kind. I’m in Gainesville, if you know someone. Also, my husband is asking a lawyer friend for a reference.
Honestly, I’ve dragged my feet on this because I’ve been in denial. I’m trying to get on with things now, but feeling awfully depressed anyway.
Calatin, thank you also for reading and talking to me about it.
I would feel depressed as well. A teen pregnancy is very disappointing for most rational parents. I would consult with at least a legal authority to find out what your son’s obligations are as to child support. You might also want to find out about visitation rights and other aspects of the issue.
… and I just found out that the roommate will be back home from his trip for a single day before going on a business training trip for another 3-4 days.
I’m gonna have to find a moment in that window to talk to him about boundaries. I don’t mind his bf being around all the time whenever the roommate is there (even if I think it’s somewhat unhealthy and co-dependent), but it seems weird to have him living at our apartment for 5 days while the roommate is in another state.
Is it just me?
No that’s not just you. That’s weird. Unless he’s paying rent in some form, I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of taking care of the cats. Unless there’s some precedent or you’ve stated you don’t want to take care of the kitties, there’s no reason for BF to cross the threshold at all while roomie’s gone. I mean, it seems a little strange that pet care wouldn’t just be done by you in the first place, unless you have stated or demonstrated you want nothing to do with them.
I’ll just throw this out there, not sure if it will help. I have two male cousins (different sides of the family, they don’t know each other) presently in their 30’s who each knocked up a girl in high school. They both “did the right thing” as far as paying child support and visiting occasionally, but they each pretty much went their own way. Both went to college, both got good jobs, both got married and had families separately from the original girlfriend and first baby. Later on, when the first child was in high school, they re-connected and both kids have pretty good relationships with their fathers, have met their extended families, and things seem pretty OK.
Just hoping maybe knowing there are two guys out there who kept it together and things worked out for the best, might help you keep a little optimism. If your son has a college path set, with any kind of plan in the future that didn’t involve a kid, there’s hope it could still work out that way.
What I’m wondering is why, if the girlfriend already had an example in her family of “unprotected sex can lead to babies”, did she not take steps to make sure she was protected? I am also wondering why the son, who saw that his girlfriend’s family already had a baby because of unprotected sex, did not figure out that no matter what his girlfriend told him, it would be a good idea for HIM to be sure that HE was using protection?
Kids, hormones, and ignorance are a very volatile mix. I remember, many moons ago, being a clerk in a GC Murphys (kind of a Woolworth’s but not, and it doesn’t exist anymore either as far as I know) and overhearing a couple of high school girls spout off a bunch of stuff about sex and how to avoid babies that was so ignorant as to make my jaw drop. Believe that I told them where they were wrong and that it would be a very good idea to go to Planned Parenthood and learn safe sex practices.